Davis the Wallflower
by Bekahbee
Summary: Davis Christie: natural born wallflower. AKA the shy, studious, and socially inept girl who's never had a date and doesn't realize what a joy boyfriends can be. After a mixup in which she's seduced by Draco Malfoy, he soon becomes bewitched by her naive charm
1. The Party

Prologue – The Party

I glanced out the window, enjoying the full moon. What was it about the full moon that made people act upon passion rather than logic? The shimmery mesh curtains swirled around me as a gust of cool air showered over me. I shivered and knew someone else was in the room with me. I tensed up, as I did not recall inviting anyone into the bedroom with me.

"I knew I'd find you here." I heard someone say. I was afraid to turn around. I wasn't supposed to be in the room anyway and I didn't want to get in trouble. I waited, my breath caught somewhere in my windpipe. I prayed I wouldn't get caught.

"You're still mad at me, aren't you?" He continued. I heard his dress shoes slap against the hardwood floor. He was coming closer to me. Instead of speaking, I shook my head, hoping to avoid an altercation. The man continued to pursue me, yet I stayed frozen to my spot.

"I'm glad you've forgiven me." He said, his breath on my neck. He held my shoulders, trying to turn me around. I resisted. He groaned, half in frustration, half in lust. His voice began to register in my memory.

"You're not ill with me…could it be you want me?" Draco asked with an audible smirk. This man was the honored guest of the evening. The one who was engaged to Astoria Greengrass. I flinched, hoping he would take my silence as a brush-off.

"I don't want to wait any longer." Draco whispered. He ran his hands over my shoulders, knocking the straps off my slip. His hands dipped lower and I began to worry that I no longer cared about getting caught as long as he didn't stop.

~Earlier That Evening~

I wasn't too happy. My sister's old roommate from Hogwarts was getting married. I could have cared less. And my sister was invited to the engagement party.

"You have to go with me, Davis. Lange is out of town. I don't want to go alone. It's social suicide!" Julianna said. It didn't matter that I never cared for any of the Greengrass girls, or any Slytherins for that matter. I had been a Ravenclaw and that had been enough for me.

"Taking me with you would be social homicide." I said, trying to concentrate on my studies. Julianna whined, flopping on my bed like a fish. It was an executive decision on my part. I decided she would continue to whine until I went or cry all night if I didn't go, so I figured if I went I'd be able to pull an all-nighter and at least get a few things done.

And went with Julianna I did. As soon as we arrived, Julianna disappeared with Astoria, who looked positively ghastly. The bride-to-be was no doubt getting cold feet. And I was left alone, to my own devices. Julianna hadn't needed me after all, but I was wont to go back home. After all, the food at Malfoy Manor was among the best I'd ever tasted. I was positive I gained at least five pounds at dinner.

And when the entertainment and dancing began, I had had a little too much firewhiskey to really care that I was in a place full of people I didn't know. It was liberating.

And then I began to feel faint. Very faint. I'd slipped away from the party and began to look upstairs for a spare bedroom to lie down in until my sister came to fetch me. I didn't have my wand with me (the invitation indicated that wands weren't allowed) and I ended up in a beautiful bedroom with a large window door that led to a terrace with a wonderful view of the night sky.

And being slightly inebriated, I took off my dress and left it in a pool at my feet. I crossed the room to look out the window, admiring the tranquility and alluring beauty of the moon, hardly realizing that I was in Draco Malfoy's bedroom. Not until he began to undress me, that is. Thinking I was Astoria Greengrass, no less.

Draco took his hands off me just long enough to draw the curtains closed, effectively severing the idea that he'd notice I wasn't his fiancé by my looks. And because he hadn't complained so far, I imagined he probably hadn't touched Astoria yet either. Apparently the rumors were true about the Greengrass girls being frigid.

Draco led me over to his bed and I knew this was not right. Absolutely not. The man was not only a stranger to me, but was engaged. And not only engaged, but involved with a friend of my sister. This could not have ended well in any scenario. But when hormones and pure desire take control, I'm afraid the brain has very little to say in the matter. Plus I do believe I was drunk.

And there, in Draco's own bedroom, he and I proceeded to climb the heights of pleasure together. He kissed me, and that was mainly what I remembered from the experience. I'd never been kissed before, and had never been involved with a boy before. It was a night of firsts.

And within an hour or two, my intoxication was wearing off. I was no longer too drunk to realize the horrible mistake I'd made. He was lying beside me, like a cursed angel in the middle of a peaceful sleep. I shrugged back into my clothes and left the room immediately, resolving to find my sister and get as far away from Malfoy Manor as possible.

With any luck, I'd have a carton of ice cream and watch a lovely movie on the telly to get my mind off my troubles. My main trouble being that I was a common tramp.

"Davis? Where the devil have you been? I've been looking for half an hour for you." Julianna said, grabbing me by the elbow as soon as I'd returned to the party. We went to the fireplace and within seconds we were back at home near our own fireplace.

"Shouldn't we have said goodbye? It seemed a little rude to just leave like that." I said. Julianna grunted.

"I already said my goodbyes. Besides, everyone could tell something was wrong. First Astoria threw a fit and stayed in her room the whole night crying, and then Draco disappeared…"

"Trouble in paradise?" I wondered snidely. The marriage couldn't have been based on love. Otherwise Draco would have said it.

"I don't think either one of them really wants to get married. They don't seem to get along too well." Julianna admitted. I don't know why it pleasured me to know that.

"Well, it doesn't have anything to do with me. I'll thank you to keep them out of future conversations from now on, Jules." I said. I began to ascend the staircase when I heard my sister laugh.

"It doesn't surprise me that you had a shit time. Parties really aren't your thing, sis."


	2. The Day After

"Davis! DAVIS!!!" My sister was shaking me awake, scaring me half to death and making me extremely nauseated in the process. I blinked slowly and yawned.

"I don't recall asking you to wake me." I said. I closed my eyes again, leaning back until my head hit the pillow. Julianna was not satisfied.

"Davis, listen! The most horrible thing has happened!" Julianna cried. She put her hands on her cheeks and widened her eyes. I yawned again but made the effort to sit up.

"Okay, what's happened?" I asked. It was the only way to get her to let me go back to sleep. Back to my soft, supple comforter and goose-down pillow.

"Astoria and Draco broke up!" Julianna shrieked. I fell back on my bed and groaned.

"Is that all?" I said. I threw my covers over my head and gave a frustrated grunt.

"Go away, Jules." I added. I closed my eyes and tried to recapture sleep. Julianna ripped the covers from me and glared me down.

"I know you don't care for them, but Astoria is one of my very good friends. You wouldn't believe the torment she's been through!" Julianna said.

"Don't tell me she's lost another house elf." I mumbled. I truly loved my sister and that was the only reason she was still alive to tell her story.

"Davis, the lousy bastard is telling lies about her." Julianna said. I struggled to find meaning in anything she was saying. Nothing made sense at seven in the morning.

"Lies, eh?" I said. Julianna stood up and began pacing around my bed. I shuddered.

"He basically implied that they had been intimate, which Astoria assures me is not at all true, and Draco became angry that she accused him of lying. It was a terrible mess and they've called off the wedding." Julianna cried. I rolled my head back and forth against my pillow.

"This isn't a tragedy, Jules. They didn't even want to get married in the first place. Neither one of them will be grieving long." I stated, hoping she would be sated and leave me be. Julianna, unfortunately, believed in the limitless potential of man's misery and was not satisfied in the least.

"If we don't get them back together, Davis, they're going to be devastated."

"I highly doubt that." I replied. Julianna hopped back onto my bed and sighed.

"We have to unite them. Please help me, Davey. Please? Astoria loves him, I know it. The reason she was so upset last night was because they'd already had a fight before the party." Julianna admitted.

I bristled at this bit of news. I had truly committed a sin. I slept with a man who was already loved by another. It felt better when I assumed that they hated each other. Perhaps by helping my sister reunite them, I could in some small way repent for what I had done. It was sickening to think about, so I made up my mind.

"Fine, Jules. Just let me sleep a while longer, hmm?" I asked, though I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. I knew I was scum. Scum would definitely have a hard time sleeping.

"Really? Oh, thank you, Davey. You're so wonderful! You won't regret it. And Astoria will love you forever!" Julianna exclaimed, waltzing out of the room in a happy daze. I felt my stomach turn and I couldn't remember feeling guiltier in my life.

I sat at the breakfast table and had a hard time eating my blueberry bagel and cream cheese. My favorite food of all time and I wasn't even interested.

"Darling, is there something wrong?" My father asked me. His fuzzy white beard twitched when he talked and I smiled a bit. He was reading _The Daily Prophet_ but he pulled the corner down to talk to me every once in a while. I shrugged and picked at my uneaten food.

"No, Dad. Just...something." I said. My father frowned.

"Davis, dear…" He began in warning tones.

"All right, all right. I've lied about something to Julianna, but if I told her she'd never forgive me. What's worse is that isn't even the worst of it. My lie could really hurt Julianna's friend." I said. I was surprised as always that my father had the knack for getting me to be so candid.

My father seemed surprised as well. I wasn't often a liar. As a matter of fact, a woman of my reputation in behavior might as well have been an old spinster granny. Davis the Wallflower lying to someone was probably worthy of a raised eyebrow.

"You? Telling a lie?" My father cocked an eyebrow. He gave a slight laugh and that proved to make me feel even worse than ever.

"Yes." I said. I could feel my face turn red. My father's skeptical face softened. He put a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Davey, my love, your sister will never stop being your sister. She may be flighty and emotional, but she is forgiving, you know. And as long as you tell the truth to this…erm, friend…then everything should work out eventually. It's going to take a lot of courage, but I know my Davey will do what's right." My father said, chucking me on the cheek like child.

I was grateful my father didn't ask any specifics, but I figured he wouldn't. My father was more of a philosopher than a gossip. I loved him very much.

He ruffled my hair as he left the table, planning to write some letters in his study. I was left alone to think about what I needed to do.

* * *

_"What exactly happened, my son?" Narcissa wondered. She was quite vexed at the recent turn of events but none more so than Lucius himself._

_"I honestly don't know." Draco said, half-truthfully. He was standing behind his father's armchair that faced the fire, a small blessing in an otherwise difficult situation._

_"She accused you of lying. What was this lie about?" Narcissa continued. Draco could tell his mother was more than a bit peeved that Astoria had called him a liar. Lucius remained silent._

_"We quarreled the night of the engagement party. She said…she said she loved me, but wasn't ready to be married. My feelings, though sincere, are certainly not as strong as hers. I told her it was now or never. If not now then I'd probably find someone else in the meantime…"_

_"And?" Narcissa urged. Draco ran a hand through his light hair, frustrated with himself and Astoria._

_"She raged at me. Ran off someplace to go have feelings. Left me to deal with the guests by myself. Eventually when I went to my room, she was waiting for me. I assumed she had forgiven me and we…we made up. But the next day she said she didn't recall visiting my room the night before."_

_"How very strange…" Narcissa said, finally seeming to understand the story. Draco shrugged and expressed with his eyes how truly bewildered he was. Lucius gave a growl._

_"Those Greengrass girls have always been odd. Did I make a mistake in putting the two of you together?" Lucius wondered. Draco sighed and raised his shoulders in a defeated shrug. He had been fond of Astoria, but she was turning out to be more trouble than she was worth. Especially if she was prone to lie every time they made love together._

_Draco smiled at the memory and realized that no matter what happened he would always remember that night with favor. For a few brief moments, he almost thought he knew what love meant._


	3. The Confrontation

I still had homework to do. Loads of it. And yet here I was, sitting on my bed holding my stuffed rabbit wondering how the devil I was going to explain everything to Julianna. And then to Astoria.

"I could say…it was the firewhiskey…and that I didn't know how it would affect me…" I mumbled to myself. It sounded terrible. It made me look like a coward.

"No, no good." I amended. I stroked my chin delicately. Either way I went about it, it was going to sting.

"Julianna!" I called. Her bedroom was right next to mine. She appeared in the doorway a few seconds later, her hands on her hips.

"Hmm?" She said. I blanched and could feel a heavy lump rising in my throat.

"I…um…heh, what was your plan for getting them back together again?" I said. I cringed on the inside. I just couldn't do it. It was too hard. Julianna grinned.

"Perfect timing, Dave. I was just about to floo over to Astoria's house and tell her that Draco is sorry and wants to get back together, etc. You need to do the same thing with Draco about Astoria." Julianna said. I frowned heavily. This was not what I expected.

"I don't know the man. Why should I go to him and express that Astoria is sorry? Shouldn't she be doing that herself? Word of mouth will not help the situation." I said. I was desperate to not see Draco again. So desperately desperate. What if he remembered me? What if he didn't?

"Small steps, Davis. The Christies go in the same circles as the Malfoys. Why should it be unnatural that old family friends should want to get together and chat?" Julianna asked. She did have a point there. But it still did not please me.

"Just like that? I go to Draco and tell him I'm a messenger of peace from Astoria who wants to get back together?" I said lamely. Julianna rolled her lovely brown eyes.

"Not exactly. If we tell Draco she's in trouble, or if we imply that she's off with another man, it should instill a sense of protectiveness within Draco that would make him want to see her again and take her in his arms!" Julianna exclaimed. I might have vomited a bit in my mouth just then.

"So how are you planning to arrange this?" I wondered. I sighed. My guilt had created a noose around my neck and it was getting tighter by the minute.

"Well, let's see…Draco Malfoy and a few others are having a luncheon in Hogsmeade. I think he's to be a Professor at Hogwarts next year or something. Anyway, I was hoping you'd go to that and seek him out. You know…by accident." Julianna said. This was probably the silliest idea I'd ever heard, but it seemed to be less abrasive than I originally thought.

At least Malfoy and I wouldn't be alone together.

* * *

I was wearing my sister's dress and shoes, feeling absolutely ridiculous. Julianna was the pretty one. I looked exactly like I had borrowed a dress from someone; it just didn't suit me. It showed too much leg, too much chest and shoulder, and was far too tight. But then again, I wasn't at this function to look good. I was on a mission.

When I arrived at the luncheon, I instantly recognized scads of people from Hogwarts that I hadn't seen in a few years. I panicked. I was so incredibly bad at the social game. In some ways, I was kind of terrified of people. I was afraid of looking like an imbecile, and I knew that I would probably end up making a fool of myself before the day was over.

Thankfully, though, most of the people I recognized were teachers who seemed to have forgotten what I looked like and did not seem to remember me. The dress and slight makeover might have had something to do with it. At any rate, I'm glad something was going right.

There was a giant table in the center of the great hall with delicacies of every kind to tempt the palate and I headed over there with my eyes alight. I was used to muggle food because my father, being a squib, felt rather uncomfortable with my sister and I preparing food "the cheating way."

I would simply have to come to parties like these more often.

As I stood near the table, piling food onto my plate as though I'd been on a desert island the past few years, I noticed the familiar blond hair of that wicked Malfoy boy. He was wearing robes like all the professors, and glasses. _That's something new_.

He looked rather attractive and intellectual, a stark contrast to the primal beast he'd been those few nights ago. I began to blush. I was surprised I'd remembered so much about that night. He glanced over in my direction and I realized I'd been staring at him unabashedly for quite awhile. And since my mouth was full of treats, I'm sure I looked like a sociopath.

I had little time to try to get close to him after that, not only because I was embarrassed at being caught mooning at him, but because after I'd gained the nerve, Headmaster McGonagall announced that she would be introducing the new teachers. I sighed inwardly.

This was a bad idea on my sister's part. There didn't seem to be a way in the world that I'd get his attention long enough to discuss Astoria. And even then he certainly wouldn't want to discuss his private life with a stranger.

McGonagall went through the polite song and dance, giving a bleh speech and eventually got around to saying that Draco was the new Potions teacher. It wasn't surprising. From what I remembered of Draco Malfoy was that he'd been Snape's favorite pupil and the best in the class. Draco was greeted by a wave of applause and afterwards it was more of the same. The old 'meet and greet' that I loved so well.

I began to tire of the antics, and guessed that this day was not the perfect day for getting the blond bastard and his fiancé back together. I finished my plate and looked longingly at the food table, wishing I had one at home. I snuck a glass of butterbeer as I was leaving, savoring the wealth as long as I could.

"Oh, shit." I mumbled, twisting my ankle in those damned high heels. My glass of butterbeer had exploded on the floor and I dug out my wand from beneath my dress to try and clean the mess. My face was an unhealthy shade of ruby.

"I've got it." Someone said, clearing up any trace of my mishap. I noticed her golden hair trailing up to her golden face and I nearly gasped. I'd almost forgotten how lovely I thought Astoria was.

"You?" I asked. I had not intended her to be at this function. Perhaps my sister hadn't trusted me.

"I just…wanted to see Draco. I'm proud of him. He finally agreed to the position." Astoria said with a wistful air. I was touched at her gesture, but at the same time annoyed. If she was going to be here anyway, my presence wasn't required. I'd embarrassed myself for nothing.

"Go talk to him. If there's anything between the two of you, he won't deny you that." I said. I gestured to Draco, who was actually coming over to us as I spoke. I hid behind Astoria with wide eyes. I knew he wouldn't recognize me, but…I was still nervous.

"What should I say? He probably made up the lie to break things off with me." Astoria said. Already Astoria had warmed up to me enough to ask my advice. I was floored. I never remembered the Greengrass girls being so…agreeable.

"Well, you can ask him." I said. I inched over to a large column, marring Draco's view of me. I was close enough to Astoria that I could whisper things to her without him hearing. It was a little too Cyrano De Bergerac for my tastes, but every time I tried to leave, Astoria would grab my arm and frown.

"Astoria…thank you for coming." Draco said politely. I could tell Astoria was a little hurt by the cold formality with which he spoke to her. I felt her pain somehow.

"Draco, about the other morning…" Astoria began. She really loved Draco. I could see it in her eyes. It almost made me forget about my involvement in the matter. But then I realized that I was the reason they were fighting. It was now or never.

"We don't have much to say to each other, do we? The one instance I can recall in which you showed any affection to me at all is one you blatantly deny. I don't know what your game is, Astoria, but I've played it long enough." Draco said, turning around to go away.

"WAIT!" I said a little too loudly. I emerged from behind Astoria, my heart pounding. I couldn't even hear myself think. Was I really going to do this?

Draco looked behind him and locked eyes with me. His eyes regarded me as they would any unattractive girl that was beneath him and he waited impatiently for me to speak. Astoria looked shocked but I tried to ignore her.

"There's been a mixup. A terrible mistake. I was at the party with my sister, Julianna. Julianna was with Astoria the whole night. Astoria is telling the truth." I said. Astoria looked relieved and grateful. Draco, however, looked extremely pissed that more people were rallying behind the fact that they thought he was lying.

"And the reason I know this is because…" I began. Astoria was looking at me like I was a genuine friend. I'd never really had any friends before. And I couldn't bear for her to look at me any differently.

"A friend of mine was waiting in your bedroom to seduce you. She tricked you into thinking she was Astoria, trying to break the two of you apart. So really this is all a big misunderstanding. The two of you should makeup." I added. Draco was shocked, as was Astoria, and I wondered if I hadn't just made things worse.

"You knew about this, Davis?" Astoria asked. She sounded hurt. I patted her on the shoulder.

"I found out later. But I figured I should come clean on her behalf, as she was very ashamed and apologetic about it." I said. _Davis, you are SICK._

"One of your friends seduced me? For what?" Draco wondered. He was rather skeptical and I realized that he didn't quite believe me.

"I don't know. All I know is that she feels terrible for doing it and wants to make things right. So she told me to tell you two what had really happened." I said. I was getting jumpy. The two of them were looking intensely at me.

"Who is she?" Draco asked. Astoria looked pained. It was obvious she was ready to accept that it happened and move on, while Draco was looking at every possibility.

"What does it matter now?" Astoria cried. The conversation was getting a little heated and I coughed.

"Should we move elsewhere? We're attracting some attention." I said.

* * *

The three of us were on the terrace, the light of late afternoon warming the conversation considerably. Draco had calmed down a bit, and Astoria seemed to cheer up when she realized that the problem between the two of them was mainly an external force and really had nothing to do with them.

"I appreciate that you're protecting your friend, but all the same I'd really like to ask her a few questions about that night." Draco said. He was quite put out by the situation, no doubt because it had the potential to make him look very bad.

"She's…out of town." I said. I was a terrible liar. Astoria was waiting for Draco to be satisfied with my answers. She just wanted to talk things out and be done with it.

"That's incredibly convenient for her, isn't it?" He said, eyeing me strangely. I gulped.

"Astoria…I want you to wait for me at the Manor. We need to talk in private." Draco said. Astoria brightened instantly. And even though I gave her sad puppy eyes, she didn't seem to mind that she was leaving me alone with her wolfish intended.

Draco and I were together again. By ourselves. I shuddered.

Draco circled me like a buzzard, giving me the once and then the twice-over. He finally faced me and gave me that vicious Malfoy grin.

"It was you, wasn't it?" He said.


	4. The Blueberries

"It was you, wasn't it?" He said.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I replied. I shrugged and wondered how he knew. It was quite uncanny.

"I'm not stupid, Christie. You and your sister have been concocting this little fairy-tale so that Astoria and I would get back together. She's not ready for marriage, and I'm not in a position to wait." Draco said. I let out a huge sigh of relief. He didn't know it was me that night.

"Um, I don't exactly understand. You want marriage and you like Astoria, but you don't want to wait for her..." I began. I didn't see a queue around the corner for Draco's hand in marriage. Who did he think he was anyway?

"That's none of your business, is it? I will be married within the year, it doesn't really matter to me who with. If Astoria rejects my proposal again, it certainly won't be her." Draco said. He evaporated into thin air and I was left with a sense of dread. My lie was becoming bigger as my dignity was slowly draining away.

Davis Christie just couldn't afford to do the right thing, I said to myself.

I mean…it wouldn't help anyway. Draco and Astoria's problems had nothing to do with me, and even if I did tell Draco the truth, he would no more believe that than the lie I'd just told him. For that matter, who would?

* * *

I was studying again. Finally. I hadn't been able to study for at least three days with this business. And finally I was studying again. The luncheon for Draco the other day did not end well. By the time I came home from it I had to fix another twisted ankle and three blisters from each foot.

And of course as soon as I had set out all my books again, quill poised in midair, Julianna burst through the door. Her face was cloudy, her eyes were watery, and her mouth was pinched in a thin line.

"He's dumped her for good this time. They're completely over. And Astoria is just devastated!" Julianna wailed, grabbing my shoulders and shaking them as she so often did when distressed.

"Good for Astoria. She can do much better than that arse hat." I mumbled, trying to read even though the pages were rocking back and forth. Julianna gasped as if I'd blasphemed. I frowned.

"What do you mean?" She asked. My quill had since fallen to the side, and I closed my books with utter frustration.

"I mean that Astoria is a lovely girl who deserves to be loved. Draco is incapable of loving anyone. He wants to be married and isn't even particular about it. It could be Astoria or anyone with proper breeding. Astoria would have been unhappy in the marriage eventually. It takes two people to make love work." I said. Julianna seemed confused.

"What do you mean? Draco doesn't love her? How do you know?" Julianna asked. I sighed again. I would no doubt fail my spring classes at Wiglaf.

"He's a Malfoy. All Malfoys have a black void where their hearts should be." I said as though it was quite obvious. Apparently it was not.

"Just because you don't like him, Davis, doesn't mean we shouldn't still try our hardest to get them back together."

"Let me ask you a question, Jules. Did Astoria reject Draco's proposal?" I wondered. Julianna flinched and decided to pick at the corner of my desk in an idle fashion.

"Yes, I suppose she did." Julianna replied. I nodded. It was just as Draco had said.

"Then that should tell you something. The man is desperate to marry and he obviously doesn't care enough for her to wait. He's a bloody bastard." I said. I was finished talking about him. I can't believe the intimacy he and I shared together. It wasn't fair. I acted like a fool.

He did not deserve the good memories I had of him that night.

"You're right, Dave. I guess I've just been worried about Astoria…she's loved Draco for years. I wanted her to be happy." Julianna said with a sigh. I turned around and stood to embrace her. My sister was very sweet if not a bit misguided.

"Jules, you've a kind heart. The best thing you can do now is try to help Astoria move on. She'll realize soon enough that she can do much better than Malfoy." I said. Julianna nodded and eventually left my bedroom. As soon as the door closed, I pounded my head against my desk.

* * *

My very first exam was the next morning. It was the end of my first year at Wiglaf University for Witches. Higher education was the only way to get a non-muggle job these days, my counselor insisted. And so I was set to get a degree in Potions, my favorite subject. So what if Draco was in the same field? I was a professional. Or would be eventually.

I yawned a bit. It just wasn't fair that people like Malfoy didn't even need a degree to become a professor at Hogwarts. No doubt his affinity with the school, Snape, and not to mention being a Malfoy had something to do with it. Some of us, I mused, just had to work a bit harder.

But it was worth it. It had to be.

I nearly fell asleep during the second exam which occurred later in the day, and drooled all over my desk. I began to wonder if I shouldn't move out of the house since there was no way I'd succeed in school with Julianna living in the same quarters with me.

Already she'd gotten me involved in someone else's love life without my permission. And in that time, I hadn't even been able to prepare for my exams.

I went home with my shoulders sagging, wondering if Friday would ever come. It was Monday and over a week since I'd…met Draco. Ahem.

I was taking the bus as usual because my father and I had gotten used to doing all sorts of muggle things together while Julianna had been away in France as an exchange student at Beauxbatons.

Father and I did most everything like muggles. Except for school, of course.

"Welcome home, darling." My father called when he heard the door open. I nearly became a giant puddle on the floor.

"Rough day, diddums?" He wondered. He was in the kitchen baking something and the smell of it managed to arouse me from my stupor. I stomped over to the kitchen and collapsed into a chair at the table. Father was making blueberry muffins. My second favorite food in the world.

"I suppose that's a worthy admission." I replied at length. I gingerly picked at a muffin from the first batch, resting on a lovely plate beside me. I tore into said muffin and devoured it within seconds.

"Does this have anything to do with that situation involving Julianna's friend?" He asked. He shed his oven mitts and took a seat at the table next to his coffee. I gave a frustrated sigh.

"Yes. It's rather complicated, actually. Julianna's gotten me involved in a terrible situation…and here I am blaming her for my part in it." I said. Davis Christie had ultimately decided to hold her tongue, I thought. It was better this way. No matter what kind of person it made me.

"Davis, dear, you should leave well enough alone. It's not your problem. And as much as Julianna would hate to admit it, the problem isn't hers either. Just try to focus on your studies." My Father said. He sipped his coffee and gave me a worried glance.

I smiled at him and assured him that I would do just that.

* * *

By Friday morning I had taken my last exam and therefore felt completely renewed. I had slept well the night before, for some strange reason, perhaps due to the fact that I had begun to pretend that the Draco/Astoria situation had never happened. It wasn't my problem, as my Father had pointed out, and since I had nothing to do with them anymore, I decided to wipe them from my mind.

My father was in the kitchen when I got home, as he had been this entire week. No doubt to concoct all my favorite foods during the duress of exam week. And today's special meal? Blueberry cake.

"Oh, Father!" I squealed. He was just taking it out of the oven and mixing the icing together while the cake cooled on the counter. I embraced him joyfully, feeling the weight of exams and drama begin to fade away. My life was finally beginning to feel like normal again.

"Congratulations, diddums!" Father said, tweaking me on the nose. I laughed and immediately began picking at the icing. He made a few half-hearted attempts to stop me but eventually he turned his attentions to setting the table.

"Julianna will be home soon. We can all celebrate the end of your first year together." Father said. Julianna hadn't said much of anything to me this week, but I had assumed it was because she didn't want to bother me while I was so busy with exams.

When she came home ten minutes later, I discovered that she might have been mad at me.

"Bloody terrific." She said when she saw the mess of blueberry-flavored confections on the table. She threw her purse down beside her chair and sat down in a huff. Smoke was practically coming from her nostrils.

"Problem, Julesy?" I asked. I began to spread the icing all over the cake, stopping to take samples every once in a while. T'was delicious, I thought.

"Bloody…bloody boob!" She snarled. I stopped mid-frost.

"Who, me?" I pointed to myself.

"No, bloody Malfoy. Already engaged to another woman. The wanker." Julianna said. I shuddered. I didn't want to hear any of this. The situation didn't exist to me anymore.

"Enough, Julianna. I want to eat my cake in piece…s," I said, confusedly, "I mean, in peace."

"Sorry. I just can't believe it somehow. The nerve of that bastard." She said. I rolled my eyes and finally finished putting the icing on the cake. I cut myself a substantial piece and plopped it onto a plate.

"Blood Pansy Parkinson!" She yelled. I had trouble swallowing my bite of cake. It tasted ugly now.

Within seconds I was covered in blueberry-flavored vomit.


	5. The Confession

"Are you all right, dearest?" My father asked me. He was sitting at the edge of my bed, his gaze sharp with concern. I was underneath the covers shivering for some reason, waiting for another wave of nausea to pass over me. I couldn't remember feeling this sick in my whole life.

"I'm…fantastic I suppose. Or at least I will be soon." I replied in a half groan. I attributed this sudden sickfest with stress. I had had more than I was used to lately, and given my sensitivity, it was the ideal explanation. Stress with school, stress with Draco and the lying…ugh. My stomach turned again but now it was only dry heaves.

"We should call the doctor." Julianna said as she returned with a bowl of soup. I turned up my nose at the soup and dove underneath the covers again to avoid catching a whiff of anything.

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea, Davey." My father said. I kind of wished they would leave me be for a while so that I could feel better and prove that this sickness was only temporary.

"No, not necessary. I promise. It was probably the coffee I had this morning before my exams. Nothing to worry about." I said. My stomach was still cramping like the dickens but I was willing to pretend I felt like a million bloody dollars to get them to bugger off.

_Davis, you certainly get mean when you're ill._

"Are you sure? Do you think this is a problem we can solve with a muggle doctor?" My father wondered. My sister shrugged and furrowed her eyebrows.

"I don't know, Dad. Sometimes it's risky seeing a muggle doctor even if there's nothing wrong that's out of the ordinary realm of science." Julianna admitted. Our father resented magic on more than everyday occasions. Being a squib was somewhat of a social taboo, I supposed.

It must have been like having the feeling of belonging to neither world.

"It's all right, Daddy. No doctor for me. I already feel a bit better." I said. In truth I was beginning to feel worse, but my emotional pain was overshadowing my nausea. I didn't want my father to feel inadequate at some Wizarding clinic.

My father sensed that I was lying, but he merely gave me a pat on the head and stood, leaving my sister and me alone in the bedroom. Julianna seemed to recognize the opportunity and closed the door behind him. Without further ado, she hopped on my bed with a flounce and gave me a wide-eyed stare.

"What are your…symptoms?" She asked. She seemed worried. I shrugged again.

"Nausea, stomach pain, vomiting, obviously-" I began, listing the symptoms on my fingers. Julianna kept staring at me and I felt like whatever she was driving towards, I just wasn't grasping it.

"You're not…" Julianna began. She laughed a bit to herself, but she still seemed uncertain.

"Not what?" I asked. Julianna gripped my shoulders and her intense look gave me chills. She was obviously past kidding around.

"You remember last week when I asked you about…you know…and you said you didn't need them?" Julianna asked. I was struggling to figure out what in hell she was talking about. Julianna minced her words better than anyone I knew.

"Oh, you mean because I didn't need tampons? My period is always late during exams. It's the stress." I said. And then it dawned on me what she was implying.

"No. Absolutely not." I said, perhaps a little too forcefully. Julianna believed me, however, because…well I'm me. Davis Christie doesn't get on well with people. And having a baby would mean that she, or I, would have to have had a significant interaction with someone. I could tell by looking at my sister's face that she doubted such an interaction could ever, let alone _had_ ever, happened.

"I thought not. But it never hurts to make sure." She said. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and left the room, pointing at the soup before she left. I rolled my eyes and as soon as she was gone, I began to worry like crazy.

After all…it was entirely possible…

On Saturday, the morning after I got sick all over myself and my new favorite food changed from blueberries to chocolate ice cream, I decided to go to the store to buy a pregnancy test. Just to be sure.

I worried all morning about how I would do it. Even though Julianna would be out of the house all day on a date with Lange, who just returned from France, my father would still be at the table reading his papers when I came in with a bag from the pharmacy. He would ask questions and since I _cannot_ lie to my father, I would end up telling him everything.

If only I had a friend I trusted to do this with me. A friend whose house I could hide at while I took the damned test. And I wondered…if I really didn't have any friends.

Astoria, maybe? Oh God, that would be sick. I'd be potentially pregnant with her lover's child. It was much too melodramatic for my tastes. I hadn't even come up with a plan yet, but I was already disgusted with myself.

I sneaked out of the house wearing sunglasses and as soon as I entered the drug store, I ducked into the back. Unfortunately the pregnancy tests and condoms were near the front.

"Shit." I whispered. There were two little old ladies buying corn pads not far from where I needed to be. I hadn't the nerve to do it.

"Oh, God help me." I whispered again, holding my head down in shame. I was cowering near the ointments and creams, wondering how I'd face the saleslady. And just then, his red hair shining at me like some great beacon of hope, I spotted a Weasley boy over near the sweeties section.

I moved closer to him, close enough to see him picking up a box of fancy swiss chocolates. Gingerly I tapped him on the shoulder.

"Oy." He said, startled. He whirled around and stared at me. This one, I soon remembered, was Ron. Ron the Weasley brother who was involved with Granger and played Quidditch and was a year ahead of me in school. Friend of the famous Harry Potter. Enemy by proxy of Draco Malfoy.

I shuddered.

"You probably don't remember me, but I need a favor. I'd be willing to pay you but please…please help me." I begged. I took off my sunglasses but his eyes didn't register me then either.

"You're right. I don't really remember you. Who are you again?" He asked. He smiled and I remembered that the Weasleys were always a friendly bunch.

"Davis Christie. Former Ravenclaw." I said. His eyes flickered a bit and he seemed to make a connection.

"Oh, right. Luna really liked you." He said. He seemed a lot less shy than he did back in school.

"Heh, well," I began, feeling shy myself, "She was always very kind to me." I realized that I hadn't changed at all since Hogwarts. Not one single bit.

"So, you needed my help with something?" Ron wondered. My bravery began to waver. What if Ron found out about my mission? Not only would it be embarrassing, but everyone would know about it. The Weasleys were nice, but they had awfully big mouths.

"I was wondering if you wouldn't mind…chatting it up with those two women over there. Just long enough for me to pick up what I need unnoticed." I said. It sounded lame and strange, especially from a girl he hadn't even heard about in years. I held my breath in hopelessness. He'd never go for it.

"I'm a bit mortified-"

"It's not a problem. I understand. I've had girlfriends before, you know." Ron said with a chuckle. Of course I could have asked for a grand diversion, but muggles are not known for their calm acceptance of major theatrics. A Weasley prank might have made things terribly worse.

Ron pulled the ladies aside and even though I had no idea what he was saying to them, I could tell by their smiling faces that he was being absolutely charming. I was floored in a way. I thought Ronald Weasley had been an awkward boy with a funny sense of humor and no social graces. But here he was, talking to complete strangers as though he were at some dinner party.

I approached the aisle with the tests and I grabbed three of them, one of each brand name, and I rushed over to the clerk. I replaced my sunglasses and tried to act nonchalant as I tossed the items onto the counter.

I wondered why I was the only person from Hogwarts who remained unchanged. I was still the same silly schoolgirl who didn't know how to make friends or act normal. And it had been almost two years since I started Wiglaf. Higher education wasn't teaching me a thing…

"Oh, my." I heard someone gasp. The hairs on the back of my neck detected a presence behind me and I realized that one or both of those old ladies were waiting in line and happened to see what I was purchasing.

The clerk began to put the tests away in a bag, seemingly understanding my predicament, and handed me the bag as I handed her the money. I didn't even wait for the change.

"…didn't even have a wedding ring on!" I heard one of them say as I darted out of the pharmacy. I dodged around the corner and held onto the side of the building with a shaky hand. I felt so ashamed and scared and angry and confused…and wounded.

Tears began to fall freely down my face, blurring my vision. I clutched at the wall and tried to stand up straighter. It would only make things worse if I created a scene right after I'd worked so hard to avoid one.

"I'm sorry about that, Davis. I didn't realize…" Ron said, appearing from behind me. I clutched the bag tightly to my chest as if he would be able to see right through it if I didn't. But then again, it sounded like he already knew.

"Realize what?" I asked. I was playing dumb in a measly effort to hold my pride together, but it really wasn't working. Ron gave a slight blush.

"That you were buying something so…personal." He said. My face turned white because I knew that he knew. And for some reason _him_ knowing was even worse now than those old ladies knowing.

"I'm in big trouble." I admitted. Only he didn't know just how much.

We ended up taking a very long stroll in a nearby park during which time I explained the entire sordid story to him over the course of an hour. It felt so good to tell someone about it, even if I didn't know him very well. It was a relief to me that the burden of keeping it to myself had been lifted.

"Malfoy? You've got to be joking." Ron blurted out when I finally got around to confessing it. I held my head down in shame, knowing I'd stooped quite low having had carnal relations with a Malfoy.

"I wish I were. But somehow, I'm glad I was able to tell you. I feel better about this whole mess, thanks to you. I'm sorry if I kept you from anything, by the way." I said. It occurred to me that he might have been buying those swiss chocolates for a date he was supposed to go on.

"Nothing like that. My father wanted some muggle chocolates. He said they consider the swiss kinds to be the best." Ron replied. I smiled slowly, recalling that his father was notorious for being a fan of muggles, so-to-speak.

"Then thank you anyway. It can't have been easy listening to a confession like this from a virtual stranger." I said. I was beginning to feel awkward again.

"You don't feel much like a stranger to me now. Not after all I know." Ron laughed. It was a laugh that was meant to set me at ease, but it only partially succeeded. I had had a crush on Ron back when I was in school, and having him know so much about me when I knew so little about him was disarming.

"Maybe so. I feel a bit silly that all this happened. If I were more worldly like Julianna, this never would have happened." I admitted. Ron frowned at me and pointed to a nearby bench where he headed to sit down. I followed him.

"Davis, it was an accident. A tragic twist of fate. It doesn't mean you're a wicked person, and it doesn't mean that it couldn't have happened to anyone else in the same circumstances." Ron growled. He tousled his red shaggy hair in frustration and I knew I must have sounded like a dunce.

"I know." I said, glancing around everywhere in order to avoid his sharp gaze. He let out a small sigh and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"I didn't mean to sound harsh. I'm just…concerned, I suppose." Ron said in a tight voice. I was amazed at how much emotion I was seeing from him. It was touching and frightening at the same time. Being open and vulnerable with people was also touching and frightening. I couldn't decide whether I liked it or was willing to keep risking it.

And then I realized the reason I hadn't changed much since Hogwarts was that I hadn't been risking it enough.

"I'm glad. I feel more like a human being now that I've come clean about everything." I said. This feeling I was having…it was unique. And not unpleasant.

"So tell me, what happens if it's negative?" Ron wondered. He was in a sour mood all of the sudden.

"I go about my business as if nothing had ever happened." I said. This did not please him.

"So Malfoy doesn't have to deal with anything?" Ron asked. I could tell over the years Ron's opinion of Draco had not changed since school.

"It's not like I'd tell him even if I was…" I began. It dawned on me that I had no plans for either occurrence. I was still functioning as if I was in a dream, as if I'd wake up in the morning to find that none of this had ever happened.

"Just what do you plan to do about it, then?" Ron shot. He was caring about me against his will, drawn into my world and my problems against his will…

"I don't know…" I said. I squeezed my bag in fear, realizing it contained the answer to my problems.

Ron was outside the ladies room at the park and I, Davis the Wallflower Christie was just finishing in the restroom, putting the cap back on the pregnancy test I had just bought.

I washed my hands and waited, thinking that even a wallflower should know better than to get drunk and go off and have unprotected sex with a raging asshole.

I kept waiting, wondering. Thinking that I wished I had more friends like Ron in my life. Friends who gave a damn whether a Malfoy put me in the family way or not.

Just waiting. Waiting and beginning to understand that maybe this situation was some higher power trying to send me a message. Obviously I wasn't living life like I was supposed to. It was high time I started making some changes.

I glanced down at the test in my hands and I realized that without me even trying, some changes were already made for me.


	6. The Reality

"Don't panic. This is just the first test. You can take another one tomorrow and then see what happens…" Ron began. He stared open-mouthed at the test in my hands. Then he stared at me and I knew it was because my eyes were watering.

"Isn't there some sort of spell or something?" I asked. I hoped Ron would know, even though I had my doubts. He may have had a slew of girlfriends, but I doubt he'd ever put them in this position before.

"A spell to figure this out once and for all? Probably. But mum sure never taught it to me." Ron said in a slightly grim chuckle. I grinned and realized that since my own mother had died before I was a teenager, she never got around to teaching me that particular spell either.

"It's something they don't have on the curriculum at school…" I joked. Perhaps Julianna would know what to do. But for some reason I was still too ashamed to ask her.

"I guess this means you're going to have to start making plans now, right?" Ron asked. He folded his arms across his chest and we began to continue walking through the park as if it had become so familiar. In many ways, it had.

* * *

"Where have you been, Davey?" Julianna leapt into my arms and squeezed me tight. I gasped for breath but managed to put on a nice, simple smile.

"The library, checking for things on my summer reading list. They didn't have any of the things I wanted at the campus library." I explained. I was impressed with myself for coming up with an excuse that fast. But then the more impressed I got, the more depressed I got. It wasn't a good thing that I could improvise all sorts of lies.

And what of Julianna and my father? If I really was pregnant, they'd have to know eventually. And they'd be very disappointed in me.

I didn't know if I'd be able to handle that.

Ron Weasley, the boy I'd fancied years ago, was actually somewhat involved with me now it seemed. He wanted to meet again tomorrow for the results of the second test (he'd taken them to his place to hide them for me) and discuss what I should do.

I asked him why a person I barely knew should want to help me so very much. He told me that sometimes people just care. I didn't really know how to reply. But I was moved by it.

I was in my bedroom, sitting on my bed, holding my stuffed rabbit. Contemplating the possibilities. If I was pregnant, it would certainly screw up my scholastic plans. It would take me extra time to graduate. I certainly didn't want to fool with studying and being pregnant at the same time…though I supposed I could…

And it would affect how society saw me. In muggle circles and even wizarding circles, I'd be a loose woman. A tramp. Few men would want me, though none really ever had before. So at least that wouldn't change.

And my family. They would want to know who fathered the child. Would I have the guts to admit it was Draco? And if I did, would they want to let him know?

What if Draco wanted to take my child away from me?

I shook my head roughly. There was no way I was going to tell my family that Draco was the father. And furthermore, Draco would probably deny it or state that he didn't want anything to do with me. And that was fine with me. I had no reason to worry.

But…there was a tiny sensation in my chest that meant I was still worried about something.

A quick tapping at the window broke my focus. I looked up and found an owl resting on the sill of my window and I leapt up to allow him inside. He carried a manila envelope and I took it from him, giving him a cheese snack from my desk that I usually munched on while studying.

I opened the envelope and discovered that my application for studying abroad for the summer at that New England school for witches in America had been accepted. Of course I had forgotten all about it because it had been before Christmas since I had mailed it.

I clutched it tightly in my hands, crinkling the paper.

I certainly wasn't in any position to do it anymore. I'd be leaving in a week's time, and I couldn't very well travel to America being pregnant and clueless.

I groaned and threw the papers up in the air. A few weeks ago I had been a boring but contented person. I was a bit of a loser, perhaps, without friends or purpose, but at least I'd retained my dignity. And now I was a wanton liar with no morals or scruples…

"I wish none of this had ever happened." I whispered to myself. Trying to change my life wasn't going to work. It was a major change that allowed me to get into this mess. Trying to be different had brought me nothing but trouble.

"None of what?" I heard from the doorway. My head turned rapidly to find Astoria Greengrass, ex-fiance of Draco Malfoy, entering my bedroom. I nearly gasped.

"Nothing. Just the situation with Draco." I said, telling the truth for once. Astoria nodded.

"I was visiting Julianna and I thought I'd pop over to say thank you for trying to help me." Astoria said. It was bizarre to see her here, but in a way, I was glad that whatever I had done had meant a lot to her.

"Even though I didn't manage to help?" I asked. I looked down into my lap. Astoria gave a soft laugh.

"What matters is that you and your sister were there for me and did what you could just to help me. Friends like you girls are absolutely priceless." She said. And it made me feel terrible. Because I ruined their relationship. And I was probably carrying Draco's child. I didn't deserve anything from her, much less her thanks.

"Not really." I said. Astoria must have thought I was being modest, because she smiled again and said her goodbyes, leaving me to my own thoughts. Draco was a fool for throwing her away. She was as gentle as she was kind.

I squeezed the rabbit close to my heart and stared out of the open window where only moments ago the owl from the Americas had left. I had no report to give him, no RSVP, no notice of my acceptance. It was as if I'd never received a thing.

I curled into a ball and cried myself to sleep.

* * *

_Draco Malfoy stood looking outside his window. He'd always known he had quite the view, but for some reason, when Astoria or whomever had been there that night looking at it, he'd seen it from a fresh set of eyes._

_He was haunted by the form of her being transfixed by the moon. He couldn't figure out why. And it certainly drove him crazy that he never knew what really happened that night. And it didn't please him that he'd copped off with some mystery woman whose name he didn't even know._

_It was the best night he'd ever remembered._

_Now that he really thought of it, he knew that Astoria couldn't possibly have been the one that night. The woman in his bed had made delightful noises when he nibbled on her ear. Astoria had always smacked him away whenever he'd tried to do that to her._

_And that girl…that Christie girl had said she knew who she was. Confound it all that he never pursued the line of inquiry!_

_Camus, his personal house elf, knocked politely on Draco's door before stepping in. Draco continued to stare out his window._

_"Mistress Parkinson has arrived for her afternoon tea with the Missus. Will you be joining them, Sir?" Camus said in his deep, comfortable hum. Draco shook his head slowly._

_"I'd rather have lunch with Potter." He sighed. Then, before Camus could return to his duties, Draco turned around with sudden zeal._

_"Camus, do you remember that engagement party I held the other night for Astoria?" Draco began, wondering why in the world he hadn't bothered to ask sooner._

_"Yes, sir. It was quite an event." Camus said. He didn't seem to know what to say or what Draco really wanted him to say._

_"I mean…did you see a girl go up to my bedroom at any point during the evening?" Draco asked. He was gazing intensely at the aged house elf, hoping beyond hope that he knew the answer to a most burning question._

_"Let's see…Astoria and the Christies were the only ones I noticed going upstairs. They were with each other." Camus said. Draco frowned heavily. Camus had really been too busy to notice after all._

_Then suddenly Draco smiled again._

_"Of course! I'll just…go ask that Christie girl who she is. And demand a meeting with her." Draco stated. He was tired of the mystery and wanted to know once and for all. Perhaps if she came from a good family, he'd actually consider her for marriage instead of Pansy._


	7. The Secret

"What do you say, now? Third time's a charm?" I asked with a bite to my tone. Ron had seemed so hopeful that the second test would turn out to be negative, but I proved him wrong. The second test was glaringly positive.

Ron exhaled slowly, painfully. I frowned then, realizing that I had snapped at someone who was only trying to help me and lend his support.

"I'm sorry, Ron. I didn't mean to be rude. You've done nothing but lovely things for me. I didn't mean to sound ungrateful." I began. Ron put a hand on my shoulder and smiled.

We were at the park bench we'd sat at yesterday, examining tests one and two. I squeezed them both angrily.

"At some point, I'd recommend a visit to St. Mungo's." Ron said. He was the voice of reason for me, which was another way he had changed in the three years since I'd seen him. Ron Weasley actually made logical sense. It was uncanny. Usually Hermione had been touted as the one with the level head. It made me wish I'd tried to get to know them better when I had the chance.

"But then my family would know." I said. It was finally beginning to dawn on me that this wasn't going to go away.

"They'll know anyway when you get a bump in your tummy." Ron said. I blanched. I hadn't even considered the physical ramifications of having a baby yet. At least the delivery would be less painful than a normal muggle birth. I shuddered at the thought of my father wanting me to have a natural labor.

"There's no way round it, I suppose." I admitted.

* * *

I called St. Mungo's from a payphone and made an appointment for the following morning. Ron wanted to accompany me, but I insisted I go alone. Perhaps I was beginning to get a bit unsettled at all the attention he was giving me. He was spoiling my sensibilities, in a way.

I knew he was only trying to help me because I was a pathetic creature in a pitiable situation, but I was definitely the kind of girl who could easily get the wrong idea about such things. I didn't want to start depending on someone only to have them taken away.

And then there I was, sitting at my desk in my room again, writing out a long speech that I planned to give my father and Julianna at dinner.

But every time I began, my words seemed wrong. Too cliché, too sentimental, too harsh. I wanted my words to be perfect. My quill was getting restless from stopping and starting again so many times, but I couldn't help it.

"This is hopeless." I groaned. I slumped over on the table and whined.

"Davey?" Julianna knocked on my bedroom door and I quickly hid my speeches under a book.

"Davey, I thought you weren't going to interfere in the Astoria/Draco situation anymore." Julianna said. She stood in my doorway with a bewildered expression on her pretty face. I was confused.

"I haven't. I haven't done a thing." I stated. Julianna's eyebrows shot straight up and she pointed downward, as if to say something downstairs suggested otherwise.

"What is it?" I wondered. I stood up and she led me downstairs to the living room where our fireplace was actively operating on the floo network. And in front of our mantle was none other than Draco Malfoy himself.

Julianna stared at me as if I'd been keeping a giant secret from her. I stared back helplessly in puzzled silence. Draco cleared his throat.

"I'd appreciate a moment alone with Davis, if you don't mind." Draco said in a polite tone. Using only my eyes, I begged Jules not to leave me alone with him. Julianna shook her head and seemed hurt by all this. No doubt she thought something monumental was happening between us without her knowledge and it killed me to know that she was right. She closed the doors behind her when she left.

"Congratulations on your upcoming wedding." I said. It was the best I could do. I winced a bit at the false cheeriness of my statement. The man had impregnated me and I really could have cared less if he lived happily ever after with Pansy Bloody Parkinson.

"We both know why I'm here. We don't have to pretend." Draco said. I clutched my forehead in alarm and fell into a heap on the nearest sofa.

"Honestly I have no idea why you're here." I said, frightened. He couldn't have found out. Not unless Ron told him. And Ron would never betray my trust like that.

"I want to know about your friend, Christie. The one who pretended she was Astoria for the evening." He said. He had an eagerness in his demeanor that was not often seen in a cool-as-cucumber Malfoy.

I let out a tremendous sigh in relief. He didn't know a thing about the baby.

"Oh, her? Um, didn't I say she was on a trip?" I asked. Draco frowned.

"She's a witch, isn't she? Surely she can't be in such a place where she can't return for an important instance such as this." Draco said. Then it was my turn to frown.

"You really think a lot of yourself, don't you?" I asked. My head was beginning to ache. I began to rub my temples furiously.

Draco made a nasty face and stood directly in front of me.

"Just give me her name, Christie, and I won't have to bother you anymore." Draco snapped. My stomach turned and I got up in a hurry, sprinting toward the bathroom.

I closed the door behind me and vomited.

"You can't avoid me, Davis Christie." Draco said loudly, rapping at the door. I cleaned myself up a bit and slapped my cheeks to give them some color. After glancing in the mirror and realizing that I looked like an angry ghost, I swung open the door to face Malfoy.

"I don't know where she is. Now please leave." I mumbled. I was afraid that at any moment my stomach might lurch again. Perhaps it was the excitement of the baby hearing his father. Well…perhaps excitement was not the right word…

"Christie, I'm not leaving until I get a name." Draco said. His voice was softer, his tone urgent. I knew he wouldn't have been so eager to look for his mystery woman if he knew that she was really me. Something about that hurt on the inside.

"Davey, dear, would you and your friend like to have an early dinner on the patio?" My father wondered. He looked positively lit up and I figured it was because he never really believed I had any friends until now. Only Draco wasn't my friend.

"That sounds wonderful, Mr. Christie. I'd be very happy to accept." Draco said. He gave a very sincere and charming smile to my father and crossed the hallway to shake his hand.

"By the way, I'm Draco Malfoy. You probably haven't heard very good things about me, but I assure you that Davis and I are very good friends." He said. His voice was dripping with honey and even _I_ believed him. That Slytherin charm was ever so good to him.

"Not at all. I'm sure none of it does you justice, my boy. Girls do like to go on so…" My father said, patting him on the shoulder. This buddy nonsense was a little irritating, and frightening as well. The two of them seemed to be feeding off each other's politeness.

"All right, Father. We'll be out on the patio." I said, leading Malfoy outside onto our deck overlooking the lake on our property. It was a beautiful sunny day, but we sat in the shade of a large umbrella. As soon as I was seated, Draco fixed me with his most intense stare.

"Why do you want to find this woman so badly?" I asked. Draco leaned back in his chair and I finally took the time to notice that he was wearing a loose black dress shirt and dress pants. I caught just a hint of his well-defined chest.

"It's probably not a secret that I don't want to marry Parkinson. That was mainly my father's doing. I need to marry someone within the year on pain of disinheritance." He began. He stopped long enough to thank my father when he came out with fresh lemonade. After he left, he gave me that same harsh stare again.

"The Malfoys need an heir." He said while I was in mid-drink. I dropped my glass out of shock and it crashed to the ground in large, jagged pieces. I fumbled around for my wand and making sure that my father wasn't looking, I fixed the broken glass and sat it back on the table.

"Are you implying that you want to marry this girl?" I asked in disbelief. This conversation wasn't going the way I wanted. Draco shrugged.

"Maybe. Maybe not. I just want to know my options before I commit to anything." Draco said. I almost retched right there.

"You're repulsive." I said. I looked away, taking in the beauty of the lake, trying to get my mind on something peaceful. Draco's brows furrowed as he watched me.

"Davis, would you mind standing over there while you look at the lake?" He asked. I froze.

"I'd rather sit, thank you." I said. I bit my lip. Draco's face became hard to read.

"Perhaps I should whip up some sort of truth serum to get what I want out of you." Draco threatened. I sighed and rose from my seat, walking over to the ledge and standing there, glancing at the lake as he'd instructed.

I felt his arms enclose me in a backward embrace and my eyes became wide.

"What are you doing, Malfoy?" I asked, alarmed.

"Examining you." Was the curt reply. He grabbed my shoulders, turning me around. He put a rough thumb on my lower lip and leaned his head closer to me. I could smell his aftershave and I remembered what a wonderful kisser he'd been. I leaned closer as well, ignoring my instincts.

"I knew it." Draco said, letting go of me and casually strolling back to his chair. I blinked several times in confusion.

"What?" I asked. I was dumbfounded. Draco gave a thin smile.

"My mystery is solved. I don't know what I was expecting, but you're not it. I guess it hardly matters." Draco continued, sipping his lemonade. My cheeks began to burn.

"What do you mean?" I asked. I felt like a fool. A dumb, silly girl.

"You're the woman who sneaked into my bedroom and seduced me. You may not be much to look at, Christie, but you're not bad under the sheets." Draco grinned. I stomped over to him and raised my hand to strike him, but he gripped my wrist before I could make contact.

"Don't worry, Christie. It will be our little secret." He put a finger to his lips.


	8. The Truth

"Don't be mad at me, Jules. I swear I knew nothing about him coming today." I told her. Julianna was resting on her stomach on the bed, trying to ignore my pleas and protests.

"He thought I knew more than I did." I continued. And then I stopped. I just didn't want to lie anymore.

"Jules…I need to tell you something. I just haven't until now because I've been afraid of what you would think of me…and what you think of me means everything." I said. I sat down beside her on the bed. I could feel her tense up and I knew she was simply furious at me. I'd never kept anything from Julianna in my life.

"That night…at the party…it was me. I was the one who was in Draco's room. Not Astoria. He wasn't the one lying…I was." I said. I heaved a huge sigh and hoped she would be able to forgive me in time.

Julianna shot up and twisted around to look at me, horrified. I felt so ashamed and guilty. I wished I could take it all back, or at least have told the truth from the beginning. I averted her eyes.

"Davis…how could you?" She shrieked. I could feel hot tears falling down my face and I knew I didn't deserve to cry. I was a terrible person. I deserved all the hardships I was about to face.

"I have no excuse for what I've done. All I know is that I've never been sorrier." I said softly. Julianna made a few squeaking sounds and I realized she was probably too angry to speak. I wondered if I should finish what I had to say.

"There's more, I'm afraid." I admitted. Julianna's face darkened and her jaw became set in an angry grimace.

I wordlessly summoned my two tests from my bedroom and handed them to her. She glanced at them and then back to me. Her face turned absolutely white.

"No!" She said. I slowly nodded and waited for her to tear me to pieces. She said nothing. Which was so much worse.

"Davis, please leave me alone for a while. I can't bear to look at you." She said, her voice devoid of all emotion. No anger, no rage, no sadness, no feeling whatsoever. I nodded and left, going back to my room.

I closed the door behind me and through the walls I could hear Julianna crying. I stood there, listening. It was all my fault. I had made a huge mess of everything.

* * *

I was submerged in water, holding my breath as I floated near the surface. Whenever my emotions were too difficult for me to face, I jumped into the lake and swam around until I was ready to confront them again.

I looked up at the moon and cursed it for being so beautiful.

I began to think to myself that I didn't want to burden my family any longer. Or maybe I just lost the courage to face them day after day. I hadn't even thought of how to tell my father yet.

When my mother died, she left behind a significant sum of money to Julianna and me. I'd never really used it before because I never had anything I wanted to buy. Now I was beginning to think I wanted a place of my own. A place to raise my child.

After my meeting with Draco, I felt insulted, but at the same time, relieved. He wouldn't be bothering me anymore. I was free to rear my son or daughter as I wanted.

It was about time that I grew up and left the nest.

Instead of going to bed that night, I walked the streets of London, thinking, planning, imagining, dreaming. I was out until dawn and as soon as the shops began to open, I headed over to Gringott's to withdraw the money my mother had left to me.

Carrying the satchel of money underneath my arm, I headed over to St. Mungo's in time for my appointment. It turns out I didn't even need the third test.

"Would you like to set up your next appointment so we can track the little one's progress?" The midwife mediwizard asked. I took a moment to space out before I finally nodded.

When I returned home, I packed all of the things I'd need in my new place and left a note explaining where I was and that I'd return the following night to give a more detailed explanation.

* * *

"So you just left." Ron said. I nodded. We were sipping fruity slushies on the streetcorner and watching the slew of traffic zoom past.

"I've always wanted to get my own place, but I've always been too scared to. I live like I'm still in school, like I'm still a teenager and not an adult." I said. Ron's lips twitched and I knew he wanted to ask something but was nervous about it. It was good to know that some things about Ron hadn't changed.

"Where are you going to stay while you look for a place?" He asked.

"A hotel. It'll be like a mini-vacation." I said. I smiled to show Ron that I wasn't as helpless as I appeared to be. Ron didn't seem entirely satisfied with my response.

"You should stay with me. At my place. I can take the sofa while you're there." Ron said. I could tell it made him uncomfortable to ask.

"But I've already imposed on your kindness enough."

"I want you to. I'm asking you, from one friend to another, if you'll stay with me." Ron stated. His voice was firmer than it had been. My cheeks flushed a bit.

"Ron, I just don't understand why you would want to go to such lengths for me." I said. Ron scowled.

"It's all your fault. You come into my life with your problems and I think as soon as I help you I'll be done with it and never think of you again. But that's the problem, Davis. I always think about you. Ever since you came into my life again last week, I haven't known how I felt.

You were just some girl I knew a long time ago, but now…you're different. Or maybe I'm different…None of what I'm saying is making any sense. Look, all I know is that I want you to be with me. I want to protect you…stay with me." Ron said. He reached over and wrapped me in a tight, warm bear hug.

I desperately hugged him back, needing the comfort of a friend. My eyes were watering and I rested my head on his shoulder, wondering what I'd done in my life to deserve such support during such a difficult time. What I really deserved was to have to go through this alone.

And almost an hour later I had gotten settled in Ron's apartment, finding a corner to stash all my things. It was interesting and strange, but altogether quite comfy. Ron disappeared for a while in the study and I was encouraged to watch the television.

I glanced at my digital and discovered it was time for dinner. I figured Ron was hungry, or would be when he emerged from the other room. Immediately I set about in the kitchen, concocting a completely muggle-made dinner.

"You cook! I think you have to stay indefinitely." Ron joked. He gazed at the table, impressed. I had made a nice platter of pasta along with fresh salad and lightly toasted garlic bread. And I substituted wine for milk.

"I can't believe you made this all by hand. Sans wand. It's incredible." Ron added, pulling out his chair and taking a seat. I sat beside him at the table and began heaping food onto plates.

"My father's non-magical. He's always hated for us to use magic. I rarely use magic, as a matter of fact." I admitted. Ron tasted the pasta and gave an expression of utter pleasure.

"Davis, you're amazing." He said simply. I gave an embarrassed chuckle and continued to eat.

"Thank you." I said. We ate together, for the first time. And I truly understood what it felt like to have a friend.


	9. The Dinner

"I don't understand this, Davis, dear. What possibly could have happened between the two of you?" My father asked me. He had risen from his chair after Julianna had decided to remain stone silent despite my vagueness and his repeated questions.

"Julianna asked me to go with her to the Malfoy engagement party. I went and we spent the evening in different places. Julianna was comforting Astoria while I…" I trailed off.

"While you were comforting Draco." Julianna finished. Her tone was flat and I hated how I'd never be able to repent for anything I'd done.

My father didn't seem to understand.

"I drank a bit and went to an upstairs room to lie down." I continued, finding the words harder and harder to eke out. My face was completely red.

"So she went to have a lie with Draco in his room. And now she's carrying his child." Julianna said. It was usually customary for her to finish my sentences whenever I had not the strength to carry on, but her malicious delivery of the truth brought tears to my eyes.

My father's eyebrows almost disappeared behind his thick mane of white hair. He glanced over at me incredulously, as if expecting me to deny it, or explain that it wasn't what she said at all. But I had to break his heart by nodding.

"It's all true." I whispered. Julianna didn't look too happy to be right. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared down at the dining room table.

The dinner had been ruined, though I hadn't exactly expected to bring down the place as though I was relaying good news.

My father took one last look at me, waiting for me to tell him that I was still his innocent little girl. Davis, the studious one. While Julianna had had many boyfriends over the years, the only man in my life had been my father. He knew that, and loved me for it. But now things had changed.

I'd disappointed him in a way that hurt far more than what I'd done to Julianna.

"Is that why you…moved out?" My father asked me. I nodded guiltily. He seemed pained especially by that, but I hardly knew how to remedy the situation. Moving back in would be harmful to my growth…or something like that. I honestly felt that no good would come of my living at home anymore.

"I…assume you've told the Malfoys everything." My father said. He was frowning heavily but as soon as he mentioned the Malfoys, it was my turn to frown.

"What do you mean?" I asked. My father cleared his throat uncomfortably. He didn't want to repeat anything at this point because it would only force how true it all was.

"I mean, do the Malfoys understand the situation? Are they going to help you through this?" He wondered. Julianna leaned in closer to me, suddenly very interested. My mouth became very dry.

"Not exactly. I let Malfoy know of the misunderstanding, but I didn't quite…tell him everything." I admitted. It was hard to tell the truth now when I had been lying about a lot of things for the last few weeks.

"He doesn't know he's going to be a father." Julianna said in confirmation. I nodded slowly. The conversation was so very shaming, but I owed them the entire explanation…and the truth.

"Don't you think he should know?" My father asked. I began to squirm in my seat. The last thing I wanted was to let any of the Malfoys know that I was carrying their treasured heir. I'd probably never see the child again.

"I don't feel that it's important." I said at length. Julianna snorted. My father inhaled sharply.

"Not important? That is very important, Davis Mildred Christie. Why ever would you not tell them?" My father's voice was stern. I wanted to disappear beneath the table.

"They might…not let me raise the child myself." I said in a wimpy voice. My father was unafraid.

"If you hide the truth from them, then they'd have every reason not to let you." My father yelled. He stood up abruptly, scouring the house for something neither Julianna nor I knew he was looking for.

"What is it?" Julianna asked. My father grunted and came back into the dining room.

"Does anyone have an owl?" He asked. Julianna and I smiled in spite of ourselves. At least a portion of the tension had been broken.

"We need to get word to the Malfoys immediately." He added. I sighed. As much as I hated the very idea of them knowing, I knew that they deserved the truth as much as my own family did.

* * *

_An owl arrived at Malfoy Manor. It wasn't an extraordinary owl by any means, but it did bear an extraordinary message._

_Lucius Malfoy was in his private quarters enjoying his nightly revelries of lambasting the Daily Prophet and drinking a very special brand of Cognac. It was then that a very ordinary owl, covered in brown and white splotches, floated to his window and tapped lightly to get his attention._

_Lucius was shocked to find an owl bothering him at this hour, not to mention the fact that it had tracked him to his private room where he refused to conduct business. But the owl refused to leave, and Lucius became intrigued._

_After taking the note from the owl's leg, he settled in his comfortable armchair while the owl flitted off to wherever he had come from. Lucius scoured the note with interest, and his eyes became wider with each passing sentence._

* * *

"I'm glad it all seems to be working out."

"It's too soon to tell, really. My father is probably still in shock. And my sister was only pretending that she didn't hate me because our father was around. The coming months are sure to be wonderful." I said with sarcasm.

Ron and I were sitting together on the couch watching an old horror movie and munching greedily on buttered popcorn.

"But it's a start. You told them everything. From here on it can only get better, Davey." Ron said. I reddened slightly when he called me 'Davey.' It was really touching to me.

"I hope so. Things can't get any worse, can they?" I said with a large smile. But boy was I wrong to say that.

After I had gotten home from the horrible dinner that I ruined single-handedly, Ron was ready and waiting to cheer me up. We watched an old horror film but before it was over, my sister appeared in Ron's fireplace wearing a furious expression.

"Is Father all right?" I asked worriedly. Julianna pursed her lips and grabbed my arm.

"Father is in a heated conversation with Lucius Malfoy at the house as we speak." Julianna replied, her voice as thin and cold as ice. I shuddered.

"Really? He responded that fast?" I wondered. My heart fell. I had half hoped that they would ignore the message, or decide they weren't interested, but that really was too much to hope for.

Ron gave me a worried glance, but he then changed faces to give me an encouraging smile before I left. I returned the smile and my sister glared at me.

As soon as we arrived back in the safety of our own home, or what used to be my home, Julianna gave me a rough pinch on my arm.

"You've stolen my best friend's man and already you've got yourself another one." She fussed. I hardly knew how to change her mind. She'd never trust my word again.

"I'm sorry, Jules." Was all I could say to her. It did very little to change her mood.

At any rate, we both crept up to the door of the living room where our father was raging at what I assumed was an equally irate Lucius Malfoy. We held our ears to the door and listened.

"You deny it, then? Your son's involvement?" Father snapped.

"No, bloody hell. My son's romantic entanglements are of little interest to me. If a child had not been produced out of all this nonsense, I wouldn't give a damn." Lucius shot back.

"It takes two to tango, Malfoy. Since he is part of the problem, I wonder what he thinks should be the solution?"

"No question. They will be married." Lucius said with venom. I felt my knees go weak from fear.


	10. The Terms

"It's only natural that's what should happen." My father said without enthusiasm. He was sitting beside me on the sofa, holding my hand gently as Lucius delivered an overblown speech about how getting married was really the best decision for everyone.

I knew my father didn't want me to marry Draco, but I knew he preferred it to the alternative. Being an unmarried mother.

"So you agree then?" Lucius began. I wondered why it was so important to have a Malfoy heir. Would it have been that embarrassing for a child of Malfoy to be delivered out of wedlock? Seeing Lucius' proud face made me realize that it certainly was.

"…yes. I agree." My father said after much hesitation. He looked at me before he said it, and I had given him a slight nod. It seemed to be the only thing I could do for my family now…to lessen their humiliation.

"Excellent. Should we consider this an oral contract?" Lucius added. I shivered a bit, finally realizing how serious it was getting involved with the Malfoys. I vowed never to be within five meters of firewhiskey again.

"Excuse me, Mr. Malfoy, but how does Draco feel about all this?" I asked timidly. Lucius cast me a dark look.

"He will feel that it is his duty and honor at stake, therefore, he will not resist the match."

I took that as a sign that Draco was not going to be happy about it if he hadn't heard yet, but would be hard pressed to argue.

* * *

"Married?" Ron asked. I glanced out the window of Ron's apartment as I collected my things. Lucius insisted that I move into Malfoy Manor as opposed to living with another man while his son and I were just getting engaged.

I would miss living with Ron. He was the best friend I'd ever had. And I had no idea how to repay his kindness.

"I feel sure they're going to test me to make sure my child really is the Malfoy heir. But yes. They insist that one of their own shouldn't bear the shame of being born outside of the family tree. And since I don't want my own family to suffer shame from this…I don't know what else I can do." I admitted.

Ron rolled his eyes, shaking his head back and forth with a jerk.

"I suppose the Malfoys are always used to getting what they want. I don't suppose you can fight them, eh? If it's not really what you want to do, that is." Ron asked. I looked at him quizzically before I answered.

"I doubt it. If I ran away or did something equally as offensive, they'd probably take my child away by force. This way, I can still be his mother." I said after I deduced what he meant.

He nodded, knowing full well that the Malfoys were not only extremely capable of such viciousness, but had more than enough resources to pull it off as well.

"I feel like you're about to be delivered to a den of lions. They'll try to eat you alive, Davis. You must be strong. Don't let yourself be ordered about. You're not property. You are your own person, Davey, not some vessel to carry the evil seed of Malfoy." Ron said, grabbing me my chin and lifting it upward so that I was looking into his face. He was surprisingly gentle in his touch.

"Promise me that if and whenever you need help that you'll call me. And I will come rescue you." Ron said, running his hand over my cheek. I held my hand over his and smiled, tears in my eyes.

"Promise." I said. I looped my arms around him and squeezed tightly. I closed my eyes in bliss until I heard footsteps behind me. Sharp footsteps.

"Weasley, I'll thank you to release my fiancé." Draco said with a smug smile. Ron slowly let go, glowering at Draco with intensity.

"I can hug whomever I want." I said. Draco gave a laugh that sent chills down my spine.

"Maybe we should set a few ground rules to this hoax of a marriage," he told me, dragging me by the arm to Ron's fireplace, "Thank you for the hospitality, Weasley. We shan't be round, again, I'm afraid."

"But what about my things? And another thing, I should be able to see Ron whenever I want!" I squeaked.

"Hardly, my dear. And we'll send someone for your things later. Not that you'll need those ugly things where we're going." Draco said, pushing me into the fireplace. I almost didn't say a place, I was so mad at him, but he fixed me with a dangerous look and I mumbled a half-hearted 'Malfoy Manor.'

"I bloody hate the Floo Network." I heard Ron say before I was thrust through the fireplace of the Malfoy Parlor. I arrived in a heap on the floor, covered in soot.

I glanced around at the darkened room. No one was there, and I smirked at such a welcome.

"Mistress Christie, the Malfoys are out as of late, but they would like for me to convey their deepest and sincerest welcome." Someone said. I turned to find myself face to face with a very dignified house elf.

"I am Camus. I am Master Draco's personal house elf." He said. I gave what I hoped was a dignified nod as I rose to my feet and swept the soot from my clothes.

"Thank you for the welcome, Camus. I feel right at home already." I lied. I waited around a bit for Draco to appear behind me, but he didn't show up, even after ten minutes of waiting.

Awkwardly, I turned to Camus with a sheepish smile.

"He's…busy isn't he?" I asked. Camus gave a stately nod and offered to show me to my own room that I'd be staying in. I followed him up to the familiar wing and discovered that I was right across the hall from Draco's room. I frowned.

"He requests that you'll join him for dinner in his private dining room." Camus added before closing the door behind him. I gave a harrumph right before I plopped down on an indecently soft bed. The nerve of these people. No wonder Astoria was so reluctant to get married, even though she loved the man.

I no longer felt as bad for her as I used to. I knew I was saving her from all the pain and muck that she would have gone through had she been in my position. Being the wife of a Malfoy was not an enviable position indeed. I turned on my side and began to nap.

* * *

"No, Mistress. He has not arrived as yet." Camus said, as I asked him where Draco was for the third time that evening. I had been waiting around 45 minutes for him to show up and I'd already finished my main course. I refused dessert and told Camus that if the Young Master Draco had not appeared in another five minutes, I'd be heading off to bed.

"Miss me?" Draco asked. He had apparated into his chair at the head of the table as if he'd never been gone. I grimaced.

"Please let's get on with this so I can go to bed." I muttered. Draco seemed pleased that I was so annoyed with him. The wanker.

"Well, I think before we're husband and wife that we should come up with some rules to make the situation a bit easier." Draco began, receiving his beginning course from Camus. He began to eat slowly, relishing every bite.

I waited ten whole bloody minutes before he spoke again.

"First off, you will stay in your quarters even after we've married. You are not allowed in my room for any reason." He said, wiping his mouth with a napkin delicately. I heaved a quiet sigh of relief. Draco must have heard me.

"You didn't actually think I'd want to sleep with you, did you? Quite frankly, Davis, I'm doing you a favor. There's no man on earth that would want a girl as plain and ugly and mousy as you." He said. I gritted my teeth but said nothing.

"Secondly, since this is such a scandal, I've decided to let us be married next week while I'm in Wales on holiday. That way it will seem as if I've fallen in love and eloped. Afterwards you are to be restricted to the grounds until the child is born." Draco continued.

"What? That's not fair. I can't agree to that. What about my family? What about Ron?" I asked. Draco frowned when I mentioned Ron, but within seconds he plastered that utterly fake smile on his face yet again. How I hated it so.

"They will be allowed to visit once a week. We'll invite them to a family dinner and you may stroll the grounds with them if you wish, but any more time spent with them I can't allow. It would be too risky." Draco said. I rolled my eyes.

"Risky?" I asked. Draco nodded firmly without explanation.

"And Ron?" I wondered. Draco ignored the question.

"You are to see no one else. You are my wife from next week until after the child is born." He said. Camus had brought him his main course but it sat untouched beside Draco's elbow.

"And then what happens?" I asked, worried that I might not have a place in my child's life. I could feel a knot forming in my throat that I couldn't swallow.

"Then you disappear. No one is to know that I married you." Draco shot.

I sat there, stunned. I just couldn't fathom what he meant, or how he had the spirit to mean it.

"Disappear? You mean I won't be introduced in public as your wife?" I asked. Not that I minded, but I also didn't want to be a dirty secret in Draco's closet either.

"Hardly. As soon as I announce that I'm married, I will explain to everyone that the woman I married is very frail and weak and prone to many illnesses. I will announce the child soon after and when you deliver the child, I will tell everyone that my sickly wife has died in childbirth, leaving me with an heir and a broken heart. Rather nice touch, eh?" Draco began to devour his food like the wolf I'd hoped he wouldn't be.

"But won't I get to be with my child? I have rights to my child." I said, a bastard tear escaping from a very tired and miserable eye. Draco shrugged.

"I wouldn't go against a Malfoy. You wouldn't want that little story of mine to come true, now would you?" He said. His tone was light, but the underlying threat was apparent.

He was so cold…so cruel. I wondered how Astoria had managed to fall in love with him when there was nothing warm or open about him. He seemed immune to anything tender or sincere.

"I suppose if you really wanted to see the child, you could send me your resume and I could hire you as a governess on my staff." Draco finished.

I stared at him long and hard before he waved me away to go back to my room.

I suddenly felt that going back home would have required much less courage than living here. Draco Malfoy suddenly terrified me.


	11. The Slightly Different Terms

I tossed and turned for hours. I didn't know what to do. The Malfoys could destroy my family if they wanted. They could destroy me too.

I rose from bed, putting on my robe, pacing the room. Back and forth I walked, until I thought I'd go mad.

I opened my door and stomped across the hall, not knowing what I was doing. I banged on Draco's door angrily.

"How can you…" I began. I hardly knew how to phrase the question. I continued smacking at his door with released fury until I heard a soft voice, uttering words of condolence.

"Please, Mistress, everything will be all right. He's not in at the moment, but he will see you for breakfast. I promise." Camus said. I turned to look at him, hardly sated.

"Not in? He lives here, does he not? Where could he possibly be at this hour?" I asked. I continued rapping smartly on the door to his room. My slams got slower and slower, my hands growing weak and sore. Camus was watching me with a mixture of pity and concern.

"Malfoy, damn you. I know you're in there. You can't deny me the right to bargain with you." I shouted. My cries of anger soon gave way to cries of sorrow, and I slid down the door with a heavy sob.

"Please. I'll do anything…" I cried. Camus tried to lift me but I brushed his hands away.

"Leave me." I said. He eventually left me there as I'd wished.

* * *

_She was undoubtedly angry. He knew she would be. He didn't think it would take her this long to get angry, though._

_He stared out the window, remembering how beautiful she'd looked that night. How sad she'd looked this night. He felt a stab of guilt, but brushed it off._

_Until she began crying, that is. Draco frowned heavily. He heard her tell Camus to leave her and he knew she was still outside the door. And she stayed outside the door for most of the night._

_Draco eventually stopped pacing back and forth himself and eased his door open to catch Davis before she slumped to the ground. He picked her up gently and went to her room, trying to open her door._

_"Bloody terrific." He mumbled. Her door was jammed. He knew he could just as easily have magicked the door open, but for some reason he decided to take her back to his room and place her gently in his bed._

_He gazed at her for a bit, wondering why he even cared whether or not she slept against a door._

_He returned to his position of looking out the window. Then he scowled, pulling the curtains closed. It was the awful moon that had gotten him bewitched by that damned Davis girl in the first place._

_He looked back over at her, realizing that she was crying in her sleep._

_With a slow and steady hand, Draco began to pen a letter at his desk, hoping it would keep her from crying in the future._

* * *

I woke up feeling as though I'd been beaten. My eyes were puffy and I had a heavy feeling within my chest. A feeling of burden that I didn't know how to rid myself of.

I sat up in bed and suddenly remembered that I shouldn't have been in bed. I fell asleep in front of Draco's door.

"Oh, good heavens. What am I doing in his bedroom?" I gasped. I glanced around the room, assuring that it really was Draco's room and I wasn't just dreaming. Draco had gone and I was left with so many more questions than I'd had the night before.

I swung my legs over the bed and inadvertently knocked off a piece of paper. I reached down to grab it, finding it marked by the Malfoy signet ring.

**Davis,**

**I've decided my original terms were not to my liking at all. You and I will marry, and after the child is born, I will be willing to negotiate joint custody. There's no reason why we can't all get what we want in this arrangement. The child is yours as well, and it's only natural that he should see his mother as often as he wishes.**

**Draco Malfoy**

I clutched the letter in my hands, surprised and shocked. Though not ideal, it was something I was willing to live with. Draco…did not seem so terrible after all.

* * *

"I assume the new terms are to your satisfaction?" Draco asked. He was enjoying a poached egg with his tea. I gave a slight nod.

"They're better." I admitted. I still wasn't crazy about being hidden from society like some curse of the Malfoys.

Draco's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What's wrong with the terms now? I changed them for you." Draco said, sipping his tea. I sighed.

"Am I unfit to be a Malfoy? Am I some shameful ugly beast that doesn't deserve to raise her child or be regarded by her husband with pride? I may not have asked to be a wife or a mother, but so far no one's given me the chance to prove myself as either one." I said.

Draco stared at me for a bit. He said nothing but eventually went back to sipping his tea. My face reddened when I realized he must have thought I was a fool.

"Unless…you really don't want a wife. You only want to get married to appease your father." I said. Draco froze, his face masked and devoid of any kind of sentiment.

"I think…you're awfully glad that this happened. This way you can provide your father with an heir, and get a marvelous excuse to be rid of your wife, since this was an 'accident' and you don't love me, which then leaves you with a satisfied father and another chance at living your life the way you want to live it." I suggested.

Draco cleaned himself with his napkin and rose from the table.

"Just because you're to be my wife, Christie, doesn't mean you know anything about me. I'll thank you to stay out of my business." Draco said as he walked past me and out of the room.


	12. The Tea

I had touched a nerve somehow. I'd never seen a Malfoy get bothered about anything. But all the same, as soon as I got back to my room, I realized how bored I was going to get at this new lifestyle I'd fallen into.

I wasn't allowed to leave, apparently, which meant no visiting Ron, or going to Wiglaf next term, or going home to spend time with my family. I had very little items with me, mainly a handbag and the clothes that I wore on my back the night before.

I had a closet full of new clothes that had been tailored to fit me, but I was still in my own clothes on principle. I glanced over these new clothes and was dismayed to find them dull and plain. I was dull and plain myself, but I've always tried to dress colorfully.

Draco probably did find me ugly. And I almost couldn't believe I actually cared.

I sat back in an armchair next to a cozy fireplace in the corner and browsed through the bookshelf next to it. It was mainly genealogies and other magical texts of which the Malfoy name was the most prominent. I was crestfallen to find that not one piece of fiction graced the entire collection.

So much for reading by the fire, I mused. I sighed and stared into the fire for an hour or so just thinking about things. Wondering if I was doing the right thing. Wondering how such a simple mistake could have changed my life so dramatically.

A month ago I would have placed a bet on my very life that none of this could ever happen. Or it couldn't happen to me at least. I had worried for a bit that something like this could have happened to Julianna considering she always got swept up in the moment. I was always lecturing her to be careful. And then I turned around and betrayed the very advice I'd given to her.

"Would you care for some tea with the Missus?" Camus said. I glanced across the bedroom and found Camus standing near the doorway with a patient expression. I looked down at my lap and debated the awkwardness of such a tea. Draco's mother would clearly not be happy with me.

"Is she…nice?" I asked. I worried about making a good impression at first, but in the next second I realized that it didn't matter. Draco wasn't my husband, on paper or in sentiment.

Camus seemed at a disadvantage to speak, not wanting to lie and yet not wanting to disrespect his masters. I nodded dismissively, giving him permission not to answer such a question.

"She is…understanding of your predicament." Camus replied at length. I kept eye contact with him, appreciating his attempt at trying to deliver some much-needed honesty my direction.

"It would be a good idea then, if I joined her." I commented somewhat absent-mindedly. I rose and followed Camus out of my bedroom and downstairs. Several hallways later, he stopped in front of a large indoor garden covered in such luscious greenery that at first I didn't even notice Narcissa Malfoy sitting at a small table in the midst of it all.

"Davis Christie, I remember seeing you at your graduation, dear. My, you look so grown up." Narcissa began. She stood from her seat and crossed the distance between us to clasp my hands in hers. It was kind, if not a bit on the formal side. I could still feel a penetrating iciness beneath the smile.

"Thank you." I said. My voice had gone softer than ever and I fervently wished I could disappear. I realized she must have known everything, and for that I was embarrassed. Especially since she was acting like this was an everyday social call.

I was never any good at pretending, and if she insisted on having tea under the façade of two old friends getting together to catch up, I knew this would only end badly.

I sat across from her and fiddled around with my hands underneath the table. After one last fleeting glance at Camus, he excused himself and I was alone again.

"Tea, my dear?" She asked. The tea began to pour itself into the cup nearest to me before I'd even answered. I accepted it gratefully and began to drink without saying anything.

"You seem rather preoccupied, dear. Is there something on your mind?" She asked. It was understated and I cringed on the inside. Of course there were many things on my mind.

"My son can be harsh. He's like his father in that way." Narcissa said. Her tone was less frosty, her smile more pained and genuine.

"Why do you say that?" I wondered. Surely she knew little of his contract and how he wanted to hide me from the world like monster. I was simply a vessel to carry the Malfoy seed, just as Ron had said.

"I know about his plans. And I know how entirely irrational it is to expect you, or anyone really, to follow them. Draco likes to control situations, otherwise he has a difficult time handling them. He's cheated himself out of a lot of experiences with that attitude, but one can hardly explain that to him." Narcissa said.

I nodded, barely understanding what she meant by it, but realizing with comfort that at least someone else besides me noticed how unfair his contract was.

"What should I do?" I asked. I set my tea cup down nervously, wondering what the circumstances were for her marriage to Lucius Malfoy.

"I don't know, my dear. This situation is difficult. There is no easy answer. There's no answer that can be ideal for anyone. Somebody is bound to be hurt by all this."

"What can I do to make sure that my child won't be hurt?" I asked. I folded my hands in my lap and tried to keep them still. Narcissa gave me a sad smile.

"Then you must try to do what I did." She said. She did not continue, nor did she plan to. It was a vague statement and its application to my own situation would be difficult indeed given that I had no context to put it in. I sighed resolutely.

"Did Draco…" I paused, suddenly too embarrassed to go on. Narcissa gave me an expectant smile. I tried again.

"Did he love Astoria? I didn't wish to come between them. Astoria is very kind." I admitted. They made a very beautiful couple, I thought. Narcissa gave a soft sigh.

"I doubt it. Draco has never loved anyone. It would be better for you to remember that before you grow attached to him. Many a woman has fallen for his wickedness, and also for the chance to see if they could reform him." She replied.

Narcissa seemed unlike the person I'd had in my head based on what my father had told me about her. My father seemed to think that she was a cold woman who maintained a self-righteous stance on the issue of blood-purity. Such a woman could never acknowledge him, he'd said, and was therefore an icy bitch.

But I was always amazed at how much the Wizarding World had changed since the fall of Voldemort. Even the most staunch purists had mellowed out, or so it seemed to me. According to the genetic code, I was a half-blood. But then again, so was most anyone in the Wizarding Community.

"Am I to stay imprisoned in this house forever?" I asked. Narcissa seemed surprised at the question and paused for a bit to sip her tea, looking at me sympathetically.

"That is entirely up to you, dear. No one has signed anything, if I recall." Narcissa said. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever heard, and I smiled graciously at her having said it.


	13. The Contract

"He let you out of your cage?" Julianna asked when I ducked into the kitchen. She and my father were at the kitchen table enjoying a quiet dinner of bangers and mash. My mouth was suddenly watering and my stomach growled.

"The man doesn't own me. There's no law that says I can't visit my family." I said. I pulled up a chair next to my father and across from Julianna. Then I began heaping big portions of the dish onto the plate I'd grabbed from the counter. Hungrily, I tore into the meal while my father and sister watched.

"What?" I asked. I then stood up and went to the fridge to get a glass of milk, because nothing goes better with bangers than milk. Or maybe beer if I were my father. I sat back down again and continued ravaging my plate.

"Is he treating you well, Davey?" My father asked. His voice was quiet and I didn't know how long it would be before I could hear the warmth and joy again.

"Yes. Very well." I lied. One more harmless lie couldn't hurt if it would help my father sleep at night.

"Well they don't appear to have fed you." Julianna quipped. I frowned.

"Sorry, I just get tired of fancy, frilly food. The Malfoys probably haven't ever heard of bangers and they certainly wouldn't be caught dead eating it." I explained. Julianna sighed.

"How is everyone, then?" I wondered. My father shifted a bit in his seat. Julianna looked everywhere around the room and purposefully avoided my eyes. My frown became heavier.

"Did something happen?" I asked. I hadn't been gone but for a day. Surely nothing earth-shattering could have happened in that time. My father glanced over at me with a weary smile.

"Not to worry, love. Not to worry. All of this has been quite extraordinary. I haven't known what to do. You must know that we still love you, Davey. But I think I speak for us both when I say that we're incredibly hurt that you kept this from us all this time." My father said.

I cleared my throat uncomfortably.

"I know. I guess I was hoping that if I ignored it long enough, that everything would have undone itself. I'm sorry." I said. I gave my father and sister an apologetic glance. It wasn't enough, I knew it. But I'd never made a mistake of this caliber to know how to get out of it.

I began to eat again, as my stomach began to make those horrid noises again as well. Julianna frowned, but at least she didn't make any snide comments. My father's face seemed pale and drawn with worry, and I knew that I was the cause of it.

"What can I do to beg for forgiveness?" I said at length. I stopped eating and pushed the food aside. My guilt knew no bounds.

Julianna rose from the table and stormed out of the kitchen before I could protest. I was left alone with my father.

"I don't know how to make amends, Dad." I said. He gave me a soft pat on the shoulder.

"Neither do I." He said, his voice breaking a bit. Tears sprang to my eyes instantly and I latched onto my father, hugging him for the first time since the truth came out.

"I'm going to do everything I can to make sure both of you can trust me again." I said.

* * *

"Where were you?" I heard the second I'd appeared back in my bedroom at Malfoy Manor. Draco was sitting in the armchair next to the fireplace, a rather irritated expression on his face.

"I wanted to see my family." I told him. I began making my bed so it could be slept in, as earlier in the day when I'd had my nap I practically tossed the sheets to the floor in my restlessness.

"We have an arrangement for that, Christie." He said. I went on as if I hadn't heard him. He stood up and went over to me, sitting on my bed so that I'd have to face him.

"Not now, Malfoy. I'm tired." I said. He gave a malicious smile that in the old days was usually reserved for Potter. I winced.

"I'm glad. This will all be over in a moment, Christie. Better that you're tired and don't have the will or energy to fight back." He said. He grabbed me by the shoulders and threw me on the bed. I gasped up at him in shock.

"Incredible. You are far too easy to tease." Malfoy said, releasing his grip on me. I sat up angrily and gave him a good hard slap on the face. He recoiled, his cheek red with my handprint.

"I can't marry you." I said. He blinked and his eyes turned to slits.

"You bloody what?" He asked. He leaned in dangerously close to me.

"Not even for a little bit. Not even for any time at all. I just can't. You don't want to be married to me, nor I to you, and I'm not willing to go through this torment of your misplaced anger. I'm an injured party as well. You're not the only one whose life has been shattered by this." I said. I pushed past him and rose from the bed. I was going to floo back home where I belonged.

"Have you…" Malfoy began before I'd made it to the fireplace. I stopped, suddenly intrigued at the softness of his voice. I turned around slowly.

"Have I what?" I asked. Malfoy began to stretch out on the bed, linking his hands behind his head.

"Ever been in love, Christie? Ever been in a man's bed before?" He taunted. I glared at him.

"I'm tired of these games, Malfoy." I said. I grabbed a pinch of floo powder.

"Wait." He said. I held my breath and waited for the next tart response. I heard him slide off the bed and walk toward me.

"I'm a businessman, Christie. I know when I need to increase the stakes. You don't look it, Christie but you're very shrewd." He said in a tone that could only be described as honey trying to cover up the bitterness of vinegar.

"I don't know what you mean." I said. He put himself between me and the fireplace.

"We need each other, Christie. As unfortunate as that is, we need each other." Malfoy admitted.

"I don't need you. Can't you get some other girl pregnant? Pansy, maybe?" I asked. Malfoy grimaced.

"Pansy's in love with me. Astoria's in love with me. And now that I know you're not in love with me, you'll find that things are going to be a lot better around here." Malfoy gave me a genuine-looking smile. I shuddered.

"You mean all this time you've been horrible to me, it's because…you thought I was in love with you?" I asked in a bewildered tone.

"I assumed you seduced me for exactly this purpose. Getting pregnant, trying to trap me into marriage. I just figured you had a crush on me. Most girls did." Malfoy said. I nearly choked on his words.

"According to whom?" I wondered. Malfoy ignored me.

"Let's talk business, Christie. I need the child."

"Even if the child is a girl?" I asked. Malfoy shrugged.

"My father's problem, not mine. He said an 'heir,' not a 'male heir.' If it's a girl I will be just as satisfied, Christie."

"You get typical westernized custody. Every other weekend and holiday." I said. He could have the child in name, and perhaps for whatever social events were needed, but the child was to be mine. Draco Malfoy could never raise a child on false promises and selfishness.

"Done. Anything else while we're bargaining?" Draco wanted to know.

"You will recognize my family socially, including my father. And there will be a wedding. Maybe not a highly publicized wedding, but a wedding none the less. I will not be hidden like a shameful secret. And in return, after the child is born, we will divorce and share him. Or her." I said. Malfoy gave a nod in such a way as to make me think we were talking about literal business and not marriage.

"Recognize as in treating us exceedingly nice, Malfoy. You will not tease me anymore and you will let me come and go as I please. I will not conduct myself in such a way as to make a fool of you, I promise you that." I said. Malfoy held out his hand to me and I shook with him.

We drew up the contract that very night, and that very night I became engaged.


	14. The Understanding

That night I'd gone to bed with a great amount of self-satisfaction and pride, knowing I'd accomplished what I'd set out to do once I gained the courage to do it. It was liberating.

But then in the morning, after the initial high of those feelings faded away, I was left feeling like I'd still lost something of myself in the bargain. It was true that I essentially got what I wanted out of it, and I certainly wasn't getting the raw end of the deal. According to the contract, I'd get to raise my child, be compensated well financially, and my father would be recognized with pride instead of embarrassment. It wasn't his fault he could do no magic. No one else seemed to care, though. A squib was a squib, regardless of how wonderful, kind, or educated.

When I woke up, I felt around my eyes and knew I'd been crying in my sleep. Even though I'd fought with the devil and won, the fact that I had to fight him at all took away the bit of innocence that was left to me. I was now beginning to feel shrewd and cunning just like Draco said, even though it wasn't really me. I was beginning to turn into him.

"Good morning." Camus said. I just noticed him over the side of the bed and I started, holding my chest.

"Oh, good morning, Camus. You frightened me." I said. I hated to think that he knew I was wiping away tears from my broken dreams.

"Begging your pardon, but breakfast is served."

"Will Draco be dining as well?" I asked with dread. Camus shook his head, a slight smile on his lips.

"You will have the table to yourself, I'm afraid." He said.

"That's too bad." I said, smiling a bit as well.

* * *

"I can see you and my family whenever I want. As long as I conduct myself with proper decorum, as they say, my freedom knows no bounds." I said joyously.

Ron had broken into a large grin when he noticed that I had suddenly appeared in his fireplace, and after giving the details of everything that had occured as of late, his grin had stretched even wider.

"I'm taking control of the situation and bringing it around to my advantage." I added.

I was beginning to tire of how happy it all seemed, and how brave and confident I was making myself appear. The more I said these things, the more I felt empty. I didn't want any of this. Sometimes, even trying to make the best out of a horrid situation did not change the fact that it was horrid.

"It sounds like things are working out well. And Draco, is he behaving himself?" Ron wondered. I blushed slightly and nodded.

"Of course. We have an understanding now, and he is actually being quite human. It's rather surprising. I wasn't aware he had any decent qualities." I said. Ron gave a snort as if to concur heavily. I laughed.

"But enough about him. Let's prepare homeade pizza the muggle way!" I suggested. Ron smiled.

* * *

_It seemed ever since he realized she did not love him, he felt a tremendous sense of relief. He was a cold man to be sure, but just because he preferred to keep tight reign over his emotions did not mean he enjoyed being the object of a poor girl's one-sided affections. It seemed it had happened a lot lately, but he was glad he would not be responsible for any pain she felt about him not loving her._

_He was extremely happy about the change, but there were several things that angered him._

_She was out often, hardly ever home except when she was requested. He was quite irritated that she was never around._

_And she spent far too much time with Weasley. Innocent meetings, just friends, or whatever, Draco thought, she shouldn't be spending more time with Ron than with her own husband-to-be. It was maddening._

_And most of all, he hated the change in her attitude. She was entirely too mouthy and pushy for his tastes. She had caused him so much anxiety lately that he hadn't slept much. He ate breakfast alone often, perhaps the only time he was glad of Davis' absence, because that was when he couldn't hide his dark, hollow eyes._

_It was times like these that he had forgotten that she was carrying his child and that was his reason for marrying her. Sometimes he genuinely missed her and realized it felt oddly natural to have her in his life._

_

* * *

_

I walked down the steps with a careful stride, wondering with slight fear if I was in trouble. Perhaps Draco had sent detectives after me to watch after my every move and make sure I was behaving in a pristine fashion. I rolled my eyes inwardly and took a deep breath in, preparing myself for the absolute worst scenario.

Draco was at the foot of the staircase, smiling at me behind a frosty shield. I waited on the step above him, folding my arms across my chest.

"What is the reason for this?" I asked.

"I'm in need of an escort this weekend. I'm going on holiday to Wales, remember? You and I are going to elope."

I stood petrified and knew not what to say.


	15. The New Draco

Camus had packed my bags for me and it seemed this had all been decided while I wasn't around. A comfortable arrangement, I thought. Draco knew that I'd have fought him every step of the way.

Early the next morning, Draco and I set out for the trains that would take us to Wales. We shared the same car but Draco barely acknowledged me throughout the journey. He either read from his Potions textbook or looked out the window with an air of calm superiority.

He was driving me mad.

I really had no idea what his expectations were, or what mine should be. I hadn't even been allowed to alert my family or Ron to let them know that I was off to get married. But it was just as well, I supposed. None of them would have been thrilled to participate.

I slept some of the way, and after I woke up, I noticed that I was terribly hungry. I had not been fed all day and my stomach was beginning to hum with the sounds of starvation.

I glanced over at Draco who was mesmerized by his book and whatever notions I'd had to ask Draco about food completely disappeared.

"Are you going to brief me on the particulars of this trip?" I asked, my voice tight with bitterness. Draco barely looked up at me.

"It is as we discussed, Christie. You and I will marry." He said, his eyes firmly rooted to the page of his book. I bit my lip angrily.

"No, I meant...how long are we staying? Are we in separate rooms?" I wondered. Draco smirked but kept his eyes downward.

"Are you afraid I won't be able to resist you?" Draco's smile was beginning to give me a funny feeling in my stomach. His teasing was something I'd despised less and less lately.

"Not if we have separate rooms, Malfoy." I said. I crossed my arms over my chest and gave him a harsh look. The more I acted like I hated him, the better he treated me.

"We're sharing a suite, Mrs. Malfoy. You can sleep on the bed and I'll take the chaise in the parlor." Draco said. I nearly gasped in shock. He would let me have the bed? It was much too altruistic to be believed of Draco's character.

"Giving me the bed? My, my, Draco...aren't you afraid that I'll fall in love with you eventually if you keep acting like a human being?" I taunted, my voice cool and crisp. Draco finally looked up, our eyes locked in a strange sort of connection. I had grown less afraid of him and he seemed to have developed more respect for me.

"It's nothing strange. You're in a precarious condition and I assumed you'd be more comfortable in the bed. I'm not heartless." Draco responded before going back to his textbook. He may have underplayed the gesture but I was touched regardless. Such a thing from Draco was important, seeing as he cared little for anyone but himself.

"Well, thank you." I said. I turned to look out the window and I noticed Draco smile slightly from my periphery.

* * *

We arrived at the station and a very luxurious towncar met us immediately. Our bags were shuffled into the back and we sat comfortably against the plush leather interior, staring out of the tinted glass windows. I felt strangely like a celebrity. I ran my hands across the seats and closed my eyes to inhale the sweet scent of "new car."

"You like the towncar. So do I." Draco said. I kept my eyes closed and realized that Draco might have been trying to bond with me. We were partners now, not servant and master. Why shouldn't we have a mutual lukewarm affection?

"My father had a nice car like this once. He took me for a ride after he'd purchased it and all I remembered was how good it smelled." I said. It was a bittersweet memory. My mother had just died and my father needed to reclaim some semblance of order. We drove as if to forget and somehow we focused all our energy on enjoying the scent of the new car. Somehow it helped.

I turned away and realized I was crying. Suddenly I missed my mother more than I ever had before.

"Christie?" Draco probed. I didn't know whether I wanted to show my emotions, but I turned to face him anyway.

"I thought you liked the smell." Draco said, completely clueless. I smiled in spite of myself.

"I do. But it makes me miss someone a great deal." I said and turned away. I hoped he would leave it at that and thankfully he did.

Soon we arrived at our hotel.

* * *

At the front desk, Draco made the effort to put his arm around me like an affectionate husband-to-be. The clerk smiled and informed Draco that the private dining hall would be available the next evening for our wedding and that the arrangements had all been made. Draco nodded and together we went to the room.

My eyes boggled as I glanced across the suite and all its finery. Forget about feeling like a celebrity. I felt like royalty.

I ran toward the gigantic soft bed in the corner and jumped, landing with limbs sprawled everywhere like a starfish. I laughed and wallowed a bit more. So this was what it felt like to be the rich Mrs. Malfoy? I was ashamed to admit that I rather liked it. Any fears I had about losing myself were pushed away as I began jumping on the bed like I did when I was a child.

Draco glanced at me, his face full of surprised mirth.

"Come on!" I exclaimed, taking Draco's hands and pulling him on the bed with me. Draco smiled but his face reddened and within seconds he remembered himself and straightened his dress shirt and suit jacket. Instead he pulled me down to where I was sitting on the bed.

"Christie, I am responsible for you and I won't have you break yourself the day before the wedding." Draco said. I could tell he was forcing his voice to be authoritative but I knew he didn't really feel it.

"Wouldn't it be just the solution for your predicament? A hapless accident that clears you of all responsibility?" I teased with a wicked smile on my face. Draco frowned heavily and headed toward the other end of the suite.

"Just be careful." He tossed over his shoulder as he walked away.

I leaned back on the bed and contemplated what I did wrong. It seemed so easy to ruffle Draco's feathers. After a few minutes I was reminded of the fact that I was ravenously hungry and I leapt out of bed and walked to the door to go to the dining hall. Draco was gazing out over the sea from his place on the balcony and I tried to creep out, not wanting to disturb his peacefulness.

* * *

Upon entering the dining area, I noticed an elderly woman sitting by herself looking rather forlorn. I made my way over to her and introduced myself.

"Good afternoon, I'm Davis Christie. I've been a bit out of sorts without anyone to talk to around here, do you mind if I sit with you?" I asked. The woman, whose name was Edith Nesbitt, smiled warmly and invited me to sit next to her. She latched onto me rather quickly and I was glad.

At first I thought I was simply trying to be nice to a little old lady who looked like she needed a friend, but I discovered I wanted a maternal influence. Any mother was better than none at all.

"What brings you to this hotel, love?" Edith said, sipping her cup of tea politely. We had both ordered the lunch special and were settling down to tea and biscuits while we waited.

I smiled and almost told her I was just on vacation but I remembered the real reason I was here.

"I'm to be married tomorrow." I said. Edith's eyes brightened and she tapped my hand lightly, excitedly.

"How wonderful. Where is the lucky bridegroom?" She asked, glancing about her as if he was close by.

"He's busy at the moment. He's busy a great deal." I admitted. Draco and I didn't spend hardly any time together. I shook my head and realized that I was thinking about this marriage as though it was real. I quickly reminded myself that it wasn't.

"My Richard is much the same way. We came here on our honeymoon and we've come here on our anniversaries ever since. But he was called away at the last minute on urgent business. He said he'd be back this evening."

"Anniversary? And he's not with you? I'm sorry." I said awkwardly. I regretted saying anything because Edith seemed awfully upset herself.

"But how noble of him to be able to forego the pleasure of being with you for business. No doubt he's doing this in the best interests of you both and probably misses you every moment he's away." I said at length. Edith blinked the tears away from her eyes and gave me a brave smile.

"Yes, that's what I tell myself. It helps but sometimes it's a poor substitute." Edith said. Our lunch arrived and though I tried to be a lady, etiquette was no match for my hunger. I tore into everything in front of me and I tried to smile charmingly as if it would excuse my lack of manners.

"My goodness, I remember being that hungry. Richard and I were here for our 3rd Anniversary and I felt so hungry I thought I'd eat the table. Richard even offered his own plate to me."

"Oh?" I asked, smiling. Edith's eyes shined with memory.

"Yes. And a few months later we were joined by our first son, Edmund." Edith chuckled. My stomach churned and perhaps for the first time since discovering my condition did I actually take it seriously. There would be a baby. There really would be a baby. I'd hold him in my arms and perhaps he'd have my eyes and Draco's nose. Perhaps there would be memories of my child and me at the seaside playing with the sand and splashing in the waves. The child inside me was just as much a part of me and he was a part of Draco.

"That's lovely. How many children do you have?" I asked. Edith's face took on a rosy sheen of pleasure and I knew her children were her pride and joy.

Soon, however, I felt a bit sick and excused myself. From there I rushed to the restroom and I threw up most of what I'd eaten. I shivered and trembled weakly, wondering how I'd survive the pregnancy on so little nourishment. I washed my face in the sink and I wiped the watery mess from my eyes.

I emerged from the washroom on unsteady feet and bumped into Draco, who'd been standing outside waiting for me.

"Christie, you can't just leave without telling me." He said sternly. I swallowed hard and realized I was still shaking.

"Sorry. I didn't want to bother you." I said, trying to get around him to go back to my table. My foot collided with Draco's and somehow I almost tripped and fell, but Draco held out an arm to steady me.

"Christie, I think you need to lie down." Draco said. I wanted to talk with Edith. I was enjoying myself in her presence. I didn't want to lie down.

"No. Look, Malfoy, I was having lunch with someone. Why can't I do that?" I asked. Draco held my shoulders and glared at me.

"Because you're shaking. Now are you coming with me or do I have to carry you?" He held himself ready in case I refused to go along willingly.

Muted, I followed him to the suite and I crawled into bed and curled into a fetal position. I was making memories all right. But these were not the pleasant memories I had in mind.


	16. The Perfect Sham

I must have slept a long time, because when I opened my eyes, a soft blue light filled the suite and I knew it was evening.

I remembered being sick quite a few times and Draco brought me a dustbin. I sat up in bed and looked around the room and noticed Draco asleep in the armchair in the corner, his dress shirt half-unbuttoned and his hair appealingly tousled. The dustbin sat on the floor between his feet.

I was curiously moved by this scene. If I hadn't known any better, I'd have said that Draco cared about me in some small way. Perhaps it was wrong but I began to remember the night we'd first spent together and I wished fervently that Draco and I were in love. I wanted him then and I wanted him now. I fought an intense urge to go to him and kiss him senseless. Instead, I placed my comforter over him so that he might sleep easier.

I changed into my nightgown and stepped out onto the balcony, admiring that damned moon. But why should I blame the moon? Was it the moon that submitted to Malfoy's kisses? Was it the moon that had gotten drunk? I shook my head in frustration.

"Can I tell you a secret?" I heard Draco say. Shocked, I turned around.

"What?" I asked. He was drowsy and his unkempt appearance made him look less uptight.

"I've been hoping to find you like this for some time." He said. It was sincere and for that I was especially surprised. Draco pulled me into a strange and awkward hug. I dared not breathe and even after he'd released me I still didn't catch my breath.

"Malfoy?" I asked as though I questioned his identity.

Draco hooked his arm under my knees and lifted me, carrying me inside as though someone else had possessed him. He carried me to the bed, laying me down gently. He threw off his shirt and leaned down to kiss me as if he'd read my mind.

Gingerly I kissed him. I was incredibly confused and as his kisses followed the trail down the side of my neck, I wondered what was happening to us.

"Malfoy, remember who you're kissing." I murmured. Draco glanced up at me and gave me a wolfish smile.

"The future Mrs. Malfoy." He said, kissing me.

"But, I don't understand. You've made it very clear how unattractive you find me." I said, pushing him away. Draco held my hands against his chest.

"I want you. I want to be inside you. I've wanted you consistently since that night. The implications you get from these truths are quite obvious." Draco and I were both sitting up in bed and his face was uncommonly patient.

"Meaning you don't find me unattractive but you just said those things to make me mad?" I asked. Draco gave an innocent and teasing shrug.

"Christie, this marriage may not be what either of us wanted, but I think we are both going to be happy with it in the end."

"Happy? But we hate each other." I said. Draco stroked my hand and lifted it to his mouth, rubbing his lips against my fingers.

"I was mad at you at first. I already told you. I thought you were out to capture me, to bind yourself to me because you loved me like all the others did. But I actually admire you."

"Admire me?" I repeated.

"You're a smart woman...Davis. You're someone I could find myself being very content with." Draco said. I froze and wondered if perhaps he was starting to love me after all.

"But didn't you want to divorce, still?" I asked. Draco ran a hand across my cheek.

"We may not have to. We have a lovely understanding. We lead our own independent lives, doing what makes us happy, and sometimes we come together and...fulfill certain needs. It would be the perfect marriage." He murmured, leaning to kiss me again. I felt my flesh break out into a cold chill. And then I understood.

"The perfect marriage? More like a sham." I said. I slid off the bed and walked away, pacing since there was nowhere I could go. Draco followed, unhappy with my statement.

"What's wrong with it?" He demanded. He stood in front of me, his jaw stuck out in a determined expression.

"Everything. I don't want a marriage of convenience. It's all for appearance's sake. I don't want to have your child and live my own life while you live yours only to have you come back to me whenever you want a whore. I wouldn't be a wife. I don't know what I'd be." I said, sitting on the sofa in the parlor. Draco seemed upset that I actually hated his notion of the perfect marriage.

"You'd rather marry Weasley, is that it? I can give you so much more than he can. Money, a title, affluence, pleasure..." Draco began. I shook my head.

"No. He could give me more. He could give me love, tenderness, care, respect. You don't respect me at all, Malfoy. You don't respect anyone. You have no heart. I hope you find love someday, Malfoy, though I doubt you ever will. You will probably never love anyone but yourself." I said.

Draco was silent for a long time. He glared at me but eventually I could see the walls surrounding him get thicker and higher. He grew cold and emotionless, and eventually turned to go to the bed.

"If that's the way you feel, Christie, you can have the sofa. Enjoy."

* * *

_Damn her. He thought he was being more than affable. He wanted her. And she dared to refuse his advances. Astoria refused him from a stance of purity. Davis the Wallflower refused him because she didn't seem to want him. Damn her. She wanted him once. He realized that he was becoming quite comfortable around her. There were things he wanted to tell her. So many things he wanted to say. But he knew she didn't love him, so it wouldn't really matter._

_And that was what made him begin to see her as a woman. The fact that she wasn't mooning over him like a schoolgirl. She seemed to see right through him._

_Draco felt safe suddenly with her. He somehow felt he could have whatever he wanted when they were together. He couldn't explain it but he wanted to give her whatever he could to keep her from being unhappy. But it wasn't enough._

_It was never enough._

_Astoria wanted more from Draco. Perhaps that why she never gave herself to him. He'd never really given of himself either._

_And Pansy? Pansy was so desperately in love with him that she had lost all self-control. She was a poor, pathetic creature that he pitied._

_So what was Davis? Davis Christie, the woman no one looked twice at because she made herself blend in as much as possible. From what he'd felt of her body, he knew she was very good at hiding her beauty. Even without makeup she had a strange glow that rendered her quietly gorgeous somehow. But most of all, she was an open book. Her fears, passions and motives were all layed out plainly in her face. One never had to second guess himself with her. She was always irrevocably herself and made Draco feel very comfortable being himself. Most of the time._

_Until he'd discovered not only was she not in love with him, she absolutely despised him._

_He lay in bed for a long time wondering whether or not she was asleep. Wondering if she was comfortable. Feeling somewhat guilty that he'd taken the bed. He pushed such thoughts away. Why the devil should he care for a woman who hated him so?_

_His thoughts turned to the baby she was carrying._

_Perhaps the child would have Davis' wide, innocent eyes and enchanting smile, and perhaps Draco's nose. Hopefully the child would take more after Davis. She seemed to be better than him in every way. He imagined Davis holding the child, singing to him, cooing at him, holding him to her chest. He couldn't wait to see her with their baby._

_Unfortunately he couldn't imagine himself with their child. He'd never been around babies or children and doubted he'd have anything significant to contribute to his life until puberty._

_This thought upset him greatly. He suddenly had the desire to become a good father. A better father than his own._

_Then perhaps Davis might learn to see him in a different light._

_Draco did not sleep at all._


	17. The Wedding Day

It was morning. I hadn't slept at all, really. The sofa was comfy and all was quiet. But somehow the quiet disturbed me. I wondered about Draco and whether he was awake and what he was thinking. Whether or not he hated me and if he would begin to treat me badly once again. I shuddered at such thoughts and was kept awake by them.

And as soon as the golden light of morning invaded our suite, I realized it was my wedding day. And I was scared of my future husband.

I rubbed my eyes and sat formally, slipping my feet into some shoes. Within seconds Draco breezed through the room fully clothed, his face like stone.

"I have a few things to do today but at 6pm we've our wedding down in the private dining hall. Someone should be coming any minute to help you pick out your dress and things. Don't worry about the expense. I'll see you at 6, Christie, and don't be late." Draco said. His voice was robotic and emotionless. I watched him leave with sadness. I almost preferred him being mean to me than treating me like a stranger.

"Happy wedding day to me." I said, all alone.

Many girls dream about their wedding day from childhood. They picture a lovely chapel, or perhaps a ballroom, a beach, or a garden. They have a dress, and a mother, sister, or best friend to help them get into it. They might have their fathers nervously come in before the ceremony and adjust the veil, tears in his eyes as he realizes his little girl has become a woman and will soon belong to someone else. And these girls might walk down the aisle bashfully among their friends, family, and in-laws full of hope and joy as she embarks on a new journey as one half of a set. She is like the missing piece of a locket that will now be worn as complete from here until eternity.

And as for me? I felt nothing.

My father was probably ashamed of me and no doubt in pain because of the embarrassment I'd caused him. My sister was still furious with me. Astoria had become my new friend but I'd hurt her badly by lying and stealing her fiance. And after all Ron had done for me, he probably wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

I had absolutely no one to share this horrible day with.

A knock at the door awakened me from my stupor of pity. On the other side stood a round, smiling woman with fashionable glasses and beside her was a large trunk.

"Mrs. Malfoy?" She asked. I smiled painfully.

"Tonight I will be. But yes." I said.

I welcomed her inside and immediately her trunk opened itself and soon the parlor area became a bridal studio complete with full-length mirrors, dozens of dresses, and more accessories than I could count. A strip of measuring tape swirled itself around me, then measured my height, and the lady's quill copied the measurements in a small white book.

"I'm Verda from the Downtown Bridal Boutique. I was told to give you the works, my dear." Verda said with a bright grin. She withdrew a dress and I put it on without cheer.

What did I care if I looked like a beautiful bride? This was not the wedding day of my dreams.

"Oh, my..." Verda said. Her mouth hung open a bit and I worried that I looked monstrous. Verda pulled one of the mirrors in front of me and I discovered that I looked rather lovely. The gown was strapless and accentuated my bare arms and shoulders. The gown also complimented the curves I'd never realized I had.

"You look absolutely stunning." Verda said. She adorned my neck with a simple strand of pearls and placed a clasp in my hair for the veil. I looked in the mirror one more time and almost teared up. Davis the Wallflower actually looked pretty on her wedding day, I thought.

"Simply beautiful. Now just a few more things to decide. The shoes, and your hair and makeup. I'll return to complete your look a few hours before the wedding. The should give us plenty of time." Verda and I planned on my hairstyle, shoes, and makeup, and once we were done, I was giddy.

Draco might have been mad at me but I couldn't wait for him to see me all prettied up. He'd lose his cool for sure. And maybe he'd return to his old self.

* * *

_"Would you like the Deluxe Honeymoon Package, Mr. Malfoy?" The manager of the hotel asked Draco._

_"What does that include?" Draco wondered, somewhat disinterested._

_"When you return to your suite, the room will be decorated with white rose petals, several candles will be lit, champagne will be available as well as chocolate strawberries-"_

_"Fine, fine. Whatever it costs." Draco muttered. The hotel manager seemed somewhat surprised by Draco's apathy._

_"Everything all right, sir?"_

_"Absolutely. Everything's just perfect." Draco said, his voice frosty._

_"And the rings, sir?"_

_"Silver. 26 carats. No engravings." Draco said. The manager nodded. Draco just wanted this day to be over. He wanted to be married to Davis and he wanted to prove how wrong she was about him._

* * *

Around lunchtime I wandered into the dining area and was pleased as punch to find Edith sitting at the same table as yesterday. I waved to her and she smiled at me, beckoning me to the table.

"Happy Wedding Day!" Edith said. I gave her an empty smile and sat down.

"Yes." I said. Edith frowned and held on to my hand.

"Feeling nervous about the ceremony dear?" She asked.

"Actually I'm just a bit upset that I'm celebrating alone." I admitted. Edith squeezed my hand and nodded.

"My mother died before I even met Richard. And she was missing from the most important day in my life. No one could have replaced her, and no one tried. But I remembered her well and I enjoyed my wedding day immensely." Edith said.

"If only it were that simple." I sighed.

I felt so empty inside. I'd practically lost my family and all my friends because of this hoax of a marriage. I needed someone to tell me I'd be all right. I needed someone to encourage me to keep a stiff upper lip, to keep calm and carry on, to repeat platitudes that would help ease my loneliness and desperation.

"Your young man really seems to care for you. I think you are luckier than you believe." Edith said, calmly sipping her tea. My brows furrowed.

"I don't understand...you've met him?"

"Ah, indeed. He came in yesterday as worried as I've ever seen anyone. He'd been looking for you for over an hour and he was quite insistent on finding you."

"But-"

"No, really. He was asking the staff and I overheard him and told him you were in the restroom. He rushed over there immediately and I saw him waiting for you."

"It's not that he cares. He just wants to keep me in line." I said, refusing to believe that Malfoy would care.

"The look in his eyes, my dear, was unmistakable. And this morning he was kind enough to ring me up and ask me to come to the wedding this evening. He said it would probably mean a lot to you if I was there." Edith added. I was completely floored.

"He did?" I stammered.

It was impossible. There had to be some explanation. Maybe it was all for show. Yes, that had to be it. Draco Malfoy was an awful person. I knew that in my heart.

And it was important for me to cling to that belief otherwise I'd be in love.

* * *

Verda was straightening my long hair and her utensils were working themselves across my face to apply my makeup. The butterflies in my stomach had started as soon as I began to wonder at Draco's motives. If they weren't as selfish as I thought, then I was in trouble. This scared me.

Suddenly I wanted to make myself look as ugly as possible. I didn't want him to desire me. If he did, there was no telling what I'd allow myself to happen tonight. My wedding night.

I put on the wedding dress and the shoes and Verda made a gasping sound.

"Breathtaking." She whispered. I looked in the mirror once again. So much for looking ugly.

"I might have to use your picture as an advertisement for next spring's line." Verda complimented me and I blushed slightly. Julianna, I reminded myself, was the pretty, bubbly one.

When I was younger I realized that and so instead of trying, I gave up on my looks completely.

"Thank you." I said, humbly. I looked away from the mirror and waited as Verda added the veil and the pearls. In a few moments I was to accompany her to the private dining hall. The blood had completely stopped circulating in my stomach and I felt rather lightheaded.

I felt my pulse quicken as every doubt I'd ever had about this arrangement came flooding back to me in a typhoon. My mind raced and I panicked, wondering if I could stop this.

"Don't you worry, pretty girl. Everything is going to be marvelous. Wait and see." Verda said. I was hardly soothed but I made myself take deep breaths before I passed out.

"It's time." Verda said after a few moments.

I shakily rose and followed her to the private dining hall and she handed me a bouquet of white roses just before I stepped in.

The second I appeared, a piano began to play the bridal march very softly, and I was awash in delicate flowers spread across the room. It was a menagerie of white and a gentle pink and I glanced around me in awe. It was so beautiful.

Edith waved to me as she stood near the minister who stood grinning with his bible near the end of the room. And stepping to the minster's side was Draco wearing a black suit and tie, and a strange expression.

I walked along the white path they'd made for me out of petals and tried not to trip on my high heels. Draco hadn't stopped staring at me and I avoided his gaze as best I could.

When I reached Edith, she pulled me close to her in a hug.

"Your Mr. Malfoy seems to think you're very precious." Edith whispered. I looked over at Malfoy and I could see a genuine smile forming.

He took my hand and for a while, as Draco's face glowed with pleasure and we made our vows, I could almost pretend that this was the day I'd been dreaming of all my life.


	18. The Wedding Night

I bit my lip in nervousness. The minister asked Draco whether he would love me forever through trials and tribulations, take care of me, support me, and be there for me throughout all our years together.

Without hesitation, he said "I will."

The minister turned to me and repeated the vows. I began to roll them over in my mind, wondering how I could suddenly lie in front of God and myself.

But before I knew it, I said calmly, "I will." And it pleased and frightened me when I knew I meant it.

With a tranquil smile, Draco slipped the silver ring over my finger. I held my fingers out to admire the way it looked and what it meant resting there.

I took Draco's ring from Edith and placed it on his finger, receiving a mild jolt as the ring made his home on my husband's hand. Linking our fingers together, Draco and I glanced at each other happily as the minister said his final piece and then announced that we were now husband and wife.

Edith dabbed at the corners of her eyes with a lace handkerchief and I tried to convince myself that it wasn't real. It was too lovely, too pleasant to be real. Draco didn't love me, and I didn't love him. This was a marriage of convenience because I was pregnant. And for a moment there, I had actually forgotten the baby because I'd been too lost in Draco's eyes.

The smile on my face could not be wiped away no matter how hard I tried. Even if this was just a fake marriage and a facade of a wedding, at this very moment, I believed in all of it.

I believed in love and good intentions and happiness, and that I possessed all of them. I believed that it was real.

As Draco's lips brushed over my own and I closed my eyes, I asked myself how everything could not be real? My heart was soaring and I felt like I'd found something special.

Perhaps Edith was right and I was luckier than I thought. It certainly seemed that way in this perfect moment.

* * *

As we walked into the suite, I noticed white rose petals everywhere. Candles, soft violin music, champagne and strawberries, and everything else enchanting. I glanced at Draco and he appeared to be waiting for a response from me. I gave him a tender smile, my eyes becoming moist.

"You arranged all this?" I wondered. Draco looked away as though embarrassed. I grinned wide and threw my arms around him gratefully, squeezing him with everything I had in me.

"Thank you. I love it." I said. I broke away and looked around the room once more before I felt Draco pull my face toward his. He kissed me slowly, delicately, like I really was precious to him. I felt my knees buckle but Draco caught me, his muscled arm enclosed around my waist.

"Are you all right?" He asked. I blinked and I felt like I wanted to cry. I...I was in love. I tried hard not to be. I couldn't help it. I'd been warned but I paid no heed, assuming I'd be immuned to him.

"Yes. I'm fine." I said, pulling away. Draco, however, had other ideas. He tightened his grip around my waist and his eyes penetrated through me as if he knew that I'd fallen for him.

"I think you should lie down." Draco said, his voice intense. He looked like he wanted to devour me whole, and I bit my lip.

"I should?" I asked, my eyes wide. He nodded and he carried me over to the bed like a husband carries his wife over the threshold.

I stayed tense the entire time, even as Draco placed me on the bed. I closed my eyes and waited for him to kiss me again but when I opened my eyes he was pulling the covers over me and blowing out all the candles.  
I became confused. I had been expecting him to make love to me. He admitted he desired me, so why wouldn't he attempt to ravage me on our wedding night?

"But, I'm not tired." I said. Draco stood still and slowly turned around. In the dark he looked handsome and serious and I wondered if anything had changed between us.

He walked over to me and undid his tie, smiling slightly.

"I think you will be." He said simply. I sat up in bed and latched on to his lips, wrapping my arms around his neck. I felt like I'd been waiting a lifetime to feel passion like this. I wanted as much of it as possible. It was a drug I knew I'd never be able to give up.

Draco pulled my arms down and slowly turned me onto my stomach. Delicious chills ran through my spine as I felt his fingers caress my shoulders and move to unbutton my dress. He traced the line of my spine with his thumb and I shivered. He turned me back to face him and he found my mouth again, kissing me harder this time.

Draco slowly pulled the gown down my body and I reached for him, pulling him on top of me. The feeling of his weight on me was a certain comfort I'd never known existed until I met him. A comfort I would miss when it was gone.

I removed his suit jacket quickly, some sort of fever building within me. There was a place I needed to go, and he was the only one who could take me there.

* * *

I opened my eyes, feeling pleasantly sore. My muscles were aching deliciously and I replayed last night over and over in my dreams. I knew it wouldn't happen again. We did things to each other because it was our wedding night, and that was it. We wouldn't have an excuse to do anything anymore. It was depressing, but also relieving in a way. If we did this anymore, I might blurt out that I loved him. It was hard enough to bite off the words last night.

I felt Draco's warm body beside me and I allowed myself to peek at him. He was lying on his stomach revealing the sinewy beauty of his toned back. I felt a tightening in chest and my breathing became uneven. He was like some chiseled Adonis reincarnated as a mortal.

Damn him.

I crawled out of bed and wrapped a silken robe around my body, seeking out the tray with the chocolate covered strawberries and other sweets.

Upon digging into the cart beside the sofa, I noticed that the champage was actually a sparkling white grape juice bottle. I tried not to smile thinking that Draco actually had the potential to be sweet.

I poured myself a glass and I stretched out on the sofa, nibbling on chocs and sipping the juice out of the champagne flute.

"Good morning, Mrs. Malfoy." Draco said, a towel wrapped around his midsection. I looked up and a strawberry came very close to falling out of my open mouth.

"Morning." I said. Draco headed to the bathroom but cast one lusty look over his shoulder.

"Fancy a bath with your husband?" He asked. My eyes sprang out of their sockets in shock.

Draco smirked as he noticed my expression and disappeared into the bathroom. I could hear him from behind the door. "...if you change your mind..." he said.

For a few minutes I twiddled my thumbs. I wanted to go in there. What was stopping me?

I strode over to the door and took a deep breath. Draco opened the door from the other side and I just stood staring at him awkwardly.

"Come to join me?" I stood frozen, not really saying or doing anything. I had too many hangups to just march into the bathroom demanding sex.

Draco toyed with the sash of my robe and pulled it completely out, leaving me somewhat exposed. He placed his hand on my hip and pulled me into the bathroom. The robe fell in a silken pile at my feet. I tried to cover up, as I'd never been truly naked in front of anyone before, but Draco pulled my arms away to stare at my body.

"How are you able to hide yourself so well?" Draco murmured. I didn't know what to say as I wasn't sure exactly what he meant.

"I don't want to be noticed." I admitted. Draco made a confused face.

"Why the devil not? Look at yourself." He said, turning me to face the bathroom mirror. I was naked so I averted my eyes, refusing to look at myself. Draco took my chin in his hand and pointed me toward the mirror in such a way that it was impossible for me not to look.

"I don't want to look." I said. Draco frowned at me through the mirror.

"Why? Tell me." Draco demanded. I closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to look anymore.

"Because I'm not as pretty as Julianna." I said softly. Draco gave a snide laugh.

"Don't be stupid. Now open your eyes or I'll do something wicked." Draco said. I opened them immediately and Draco began kissing my shoulder, moving his hands along the curves of my body. Seeing it through the mirror made me see myself differently. I was becoming aroused by our reflection.

"Why do you care whether I think myself beautiful?" I asked. as his hands began to seek out all my sensitive places.

"Because I won't have you thinking lies. Do you want me to say it out loud? That the sight of you makes me want to fuck you senseless?" Draco asked.

Something stirred within me and I became someone else temporarily. I was no longer a wallflower, nor a shy girl with no experience. I was a temptress who wanted something and knew full well how to get it. I smiled wickedly in the mirror at Draco.

"Prove it." I said.

And to my extreme pleasure, he did.


	19. The Yacht

Mrs. Malfoy. I had been Mrs. Malfoy for nearly a day.

And we had spent most of it without any sort of clothing at all.

I was lying in bed resting peacefully, my head placed on Draco's firm chest. I could hear his heart thumping through his skin, could feel its comforting vibration. I glanced up into his face and noticed he was sleeping.

He looked so beautiful in sleep. So innocent.

What were we doing, really? We were playacting. We were pretending to be something we weren't.

I rose from bed and put on some clothes I'd packed. I tied my hair back in a loose ponytail and resolved to go find Edith and explain everything. I didn't want her thinking anything about me that wasn't true. I just had to tell her.

* * *

_He was a married man. It felt good. And yet, somehow, he wished it had happened under different circumstances._

_It was a curious notion he'd had at the wedding. He realized he would have wanted to marry her even if she hadn't been carrying his child._

_And why? He hardly knew, but he thought it had something to do with Davis Christie being perhaps the only genuine person he'd ever met in his life. She wanted nothing from him, though everyone else seemed to want a different piece of him for their own purposes. Davis was just...herself. She didn't have to like him, but she seemed to be growing fond of him._

_If only he could make her fall in love with him, then he felt he'd be happy. She would do anything for him and he would feel safe again._

_She would always be there if he needed her, and she wouldn't dare think of Weasley as anything more than a pest._

_He would be in control._

_Draco thought of how he'd been wooing her lately, and knew it was only a matter of time before Davis fell completely in love with him._

_Draco turned on his side and went back to sleep, grinning to himself._

* * *

I didn't have to look very far. Edith was in the lobby with a handsome older man, talking to the concierge.

I waved to her and she toddled over to me on her short legs, hugging me like a dear grandmother would.

"I didn't think I'd see you at all today." Edith said with a wink. I smiled at her candid gesture and looked behind her at the gentleman I assumed was her husband.

"Davis, this is Richard." Edith said, looking behind her. I shook Richard's hand and felt truly glad that he'd been able to come at last.

"Edith, I was wondering if you had a few moments to spare. I need to speak with you urgently." I said in a whisper. Edith barely registered the panic in my voice.

"If your Mr. Malfoy is around, we'd be honored to have you come yachting with us."

"Mrs. Nesbitt, I have to tell you the truth. Mr. Malfoy and I...we..." I began, ignoring the invitation. I was going to get this out if it killed me. No more lies.

"We would be delighted to join you." Draco said. He put an arm around me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

I frowned at his capacity to always pop up at the most convenient times in the most convenient places.

"Were you spying on me?" I muttered in his ear. Draco laughed and I suddenly noticed that he was wearing a loose black dress shirt and dark jeans. Even casual was dressy to Draco. But my,he looked appealing regardless. I knew he'd look just as appetizing wearing anything from a paper bag to whipped cream.

"Don't flatter yourself, Christie. If you would tell me where you ran off to for a change, I wouldn't have to track you." He whispered back.

"We lift anchor in twenty minutes." Edith said, happy that we'd decided to come. I could tell that she fancied Draco, as she pinched his cheek hard and called him a "duckie." I hid a smile and firmly reminded myself that he married me for the baby's sake and that he had threatened to take said baby from me.

I'd never let myself forget that.

We returned to the suite and packed a few things, and I changed into a pair of shorts and a striped halter. I found myself dressing better and I wondered if it was because I felt better about myself, or if it was that I wanted to impress Draco. I admit it must have been both.

Draco smirked when he saw me. "Dressing up for me, darling?" Draco asked. I rolled my eyes and we went to find the Nesbitts for our yachting excursion.

* * *

The seas were beautiful. Draco and I were placed near the end of the ship while Edith and her handsome Captain were on the other side. And despite a bit of apprehension that I might be sick to my stomach, I was in surprisingly good health. Draco, however, looked positively green. He made a few funny faces from time to time.

"I have some motion sickness pills. Would you like some?" I asked. Draco gave me a befuddled glance.

"What are pills?" He said. Ron liked all of my muggle ways, and was familiar with most of them. But Draco would probably look down on me if he knew.

"Nothing." I said, turning around to look at the ocean. Draco continued to look miserable and it became obvious to me that he'd left his wand.

Groaning, I withdrew the pills and a canteen of water. I handed them to him and encouraged him to put the pills in his mouth.

"What am I supposed to do now?" Draco said, spitting out the pills. I laughed at his confusion. Draco looked like a child who was trying to learn to tie his shoes properly.

"Swallow the pills. Don't chew. Swallow them whole." I instructed. Draco did as he was told and had a hard go of it.

"This is supposed to help me?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yes. My father is well-versed in pharmaceuticals. He read Grey's Anatomy in college and is a natural-born chemist. I can only imagine how talented he'd be if he had powers." I said, and immediately cursed myself.

It was one thing to say such a horrible thing about my own father, but to say this in front of Malfoy was unforgivable.

We were both silent for a while because I turned away in anger. I pinched my lips together and felt so terribly guilty about the whole thing.

"You can't help who he is." Draco said, slumping over the side as if he was about to lose his breakfast.

"That implies that he is someone to be ashamed of. My father is the best person I know." I said, glaring at Draco.

I was more than ready for a fight. I knew the Malfoys had always looked down on my mother for marrying my father. He had put a "blemish" on the Christie name for his own family, and cursed my mother's side by association.

"I wish I knew what that was like. Admiring one's father to such an extent." Draco said.

This response was not what I expected.

"Don't change the subject. I know that the Malfoys and the Blacks and everyone else in your family tree is obsessed with blood purity." I said. My mouth was running away with my anger, and my senses were reeling at what was happening. Why was I trying to fight with him? To prove he was an utter terror?

"I think you forget that the Malfoys were humbled not long ago." Draco said, fighting back a wave of nausea. I snarled and was feeling rather cheated. I expected a rousing argument but Draco wasn't giving it to me. I was being irrational all by myself. Calmer heads prevail, I knew, and Draco was the calm one in this instance. Damnit.

"So you don't care that my father's a squib?" I said. I hated the term. It was demeaning, but then so was what it meant, apparently. Draco looked up at me, his eyes pleading for a reprieve. I should have felt sorry for him, his stomach all queasy and everything, but I was much too furious to let anything go now.

"What if my baby is a squib? Will you cut him out of your life?" I shot. Draco looked at me like I'd hit him. He stood up straight and walked over to me. I could see the sweat on his brow, and the sickness in his face.

"I would never do that." He said. He looked quite angry himself but he said nothing more. Instead, he went to a deck chair and sat down with a grimace. I still had no idea how he really felt and I had no idea whether I ever would.

In a few moments I heard Edith's voice and she soon appeared carrying a tray of drinks and goodies.

"Tea time. I brought a pint for Mr. Malfoy and some lemonade for the mother-to-be." She said, setting the tray down on the table in front of us. My mouth hung agape.

"How did you know?" I asked. Edith handed me the lemonade and smiled.

"Mother's intuition." She said. I took a few sips and took a seat as far away from Draco as possible. Edith sat in between us.

"Lovely day for a voyage, eh?" Edith asked. I nodded idly, too caught up in my own web of confusion to pay much attention.

"I never really asked about when the two of you met. Surely there's a story there." Edith said, settling herself down as if she was about to be told a long, wonderful tale about fate and destiny and use locking eyes and falling head over heels. There was no such story existing between us.

"Hogwarts." Draco mumbled. He sat up a little bit straighter and since he figured I had no intention of picking up the cue, he went on.

"I was in fourth year and Davis was in third. She probably doesn't even remember." Draco chuckled. My interest was piqued because I honestly didn't remember.

"Davis had been honored for getting highest marks of all the third years. Especially in Potions. The first time I saw her she was concocting something in her cauldron."

"What?" I asked. I would have remembered Malfoy peering at me.

"Yes. As a matter of fact I asked if you were in trouble and was that why you were there so late making a potion. You grunted and refused to talk to me."

"That never happened." I said indignantly. Draco laughed and the sound calmed me.

"It wasn't fireworks and for the next several years I didn't think of her at all, but I seem to remember that I did meet her and it wasn't memorable." Draco said. Edith tittered and I could tell she was hanging on to Draco's every word.

"Well if I grunted at you it must have been because you came at me in a rude way." I said tartly. But it was too late to reign them back in. Edith and Draco were too busy having a good laugh at my expense. At least it felt like it was at my expense.

"And when did you realize you wanted to marry her?" Edith said after their laughter subsided. Draco's face became solemn in an instant and he looked at me meaningfully.

"Without realizing it, I suppose it was the night I first kissed her." Draco said. I nearly gagged. He made such a show about how plain and ugly he thought me, and that he never believed it was really me that night. And all of the sudden, he KNEW that night that I was the one he wanted to marry?

"Like hell." I said. Draco and Edith both spit up what they'd been drinking.

"I better check on the Captain and make sure he knows the way back." Edith said in a hurry. She passed me a look that told me she understood about newlywed squabbles. She sprung up from her chair and scooted off without another word and I was left facing Draco across the table.

"Have you no sense of decorum, Christie?" Draco snarled.

"That's Malfoy, to you." I said. This brought a smile to his lips. A real one.

"I meant, can we not bring the entire world into our personal affairs?" He asked. I folded my arms across my chest.

"We have personal affairs? Shall I remind you that your terms for me were that we'd be in separate rooms?" I said.

"And we changed those terms, didn't we? You asked me to treat you exceedingly nice, as I recall. I think I've been doing 'exceedingly' well, judging by your compliments." Draco said, a gleam in his eye. Compliments?

"What? I've never complimented you." I said. Draco smirked.

"Well, I'm too much of a gentleman to repeat such things in public. But I had no complaints whatsoever last night." Draco grinned in such a way that I felt those terrible stirrings again. The ones in which I lost all control and allowed myself to grow wanton with lust.

My cheeks colored slightly and I looked away. I felt so terribly dirty.

"I trust that we've gotten that out of our systems, right?" I asked. Draco furrowed his brows and leaned back in his chair.

"We can say that. But we both know it wouldn't be true." He said, his demeanor quite confident. And he was absolutely right. I already wanted him again.

Why did the body not comply to the affects of the mind? Why did they have to be at odds over something as important as this?

"Oh, shut up." I said, my lip threatening to pout.

I stood up and walked over to the rail, leaning over it. I soon became mesmerized by the water flowing beneath us as the yacht went faster. Draco follwed me and stood beside me, pulling stray strands of hair away from my face.

"Davis, if I 've never said it out loud, I wanted you to know: I do think you're beautiful." Draco said, his voice rather unsure.

I glanced into his face, trying to read him as carefully as possible. I didn't know what to do with his kind words. Why did he say them?

"Draco, I appreciate your taking the terms seriously, but I think you're crossing a line." I said. Draco frowned heavily.

"There's no winning with you, is there? You say I mistreat you but when I try to be nice, you accuse me of crossing some line." Draco said, his tone apathetic.

Ah, yes. Draco the cold winter wind had come back. I suddenly felt much better. It was easier to deal with this Draco.

"Winning? Draco is this some sort of game to you? Am I something you're trying to play with?" I asked. I kept my voice level and even just in case Edith decided to pop back.

"I'm only doing the best I can to be nice. If this isn't good enough then I just won't bother." Draco snapped, turning on his heel and leaving me to look at the waves by myself.


	20. The Talk of Fathers

I hung suspended in the water, trying to figure out my problem.

As soon as we'd returned from yachting, Draco went off by himself somewhere. He didn't tell me where and I didn't care to ask or follow.

I took the opportunity to enjoy myself at the hotel pool. Water helps me think, usually, but I was still waiting for clarity.

I dipped my head underwater and held my breath, my hair fanning out like seaweed.

Nothing.

Draco genuinely seemed to be trying. And I'd offended him and told him his efforts weren't good enough.

Was I the wrong person in this situation? Or was Draco playing with me?

I knew him to be manipulative. Which one of us was right this time and what was I to do about it?

I became consumed by this problem, floating in the light of late afternoon in an empty pool. No one was around.

Seconds later I felt a strong ripple in the water and two arms grab me from behind, lifting me above water.

When my eyes adjusted, I saw Draco.

"What are you doing?" I demanded, struggling out of his grasp. Draco's eyes were wide with shock.

"Damnit, Davis, I thought you were drowning." He said, dropping me.

He ran his hands through his wet hair, letting out a frustrated groan.

"I can hold my breath for a good while, Malfoy." I explained, treading to keep from sinking.

Draco walked back to the side of the pool and hoisted himself out. He stood above me in his dripping wet clothes, glaring at me for making him actually worry that something had happened to me.

Did I interpret right? He did seem awfully worried.

I had no idea what came over me but the situation seemed just too funny and adorable, especially with Draco's concern casting a dark shadow over his entire face...I reached up and pulled him into the pool with me.

Fearing how he'd react, I swam toward the opposite end of the pool and climbed out myself. Before I was all the way out, Draco grabbed the string on my swimsuit that held my bottoms together.

"I wouldn't move if I were you." He said smugly.

I laughed despite any emotional misgivings I had about Draco.

I was actually having a bit of fun.

I turned around and jumped into Draco's arms, forcing us into the water with a humongous splash.

We wrestled with each other for a while, splashing and dunking and playing like we were children.

We grinned at each other, our shoulders barely covered. We were breathing heavily from the exertion and I thought to myself that Draco had never looked better to me.

"I was wondering when you'd loosen up." I said. Draco smirked as if to challenge me but he said nothing.

"I haven't had this much fun in forever." I admitted. I fell back and let myself float, looking up at the sky. It was just starting to get dark.

"Draco?" I murmured. I could hear him in the water next to me.

"Hmm?" He said. I began to wonder how Draco truly felt inside, his parents' prejudices notwithstanding.

"What's wrong with my blood?" I asked him. After a minute of tense silence, I worried that he felt too above me to give me an honest answer.

"There's nothing wrong." He said quietly. I straightened up and looked Draco in the eye to see if he was serious.

"But I'm a traitor. I'm a half-blood." As soon as my skin was exposed to the air, I felt terribly cold.

Draco was thoughtful for a moment.

"I have no idea what you are. I've never known anyone like you. In blood or in character." He said.

"Malfoy, I was practically raised as a muggle." I said. Draco's face took on a strangely comical tone.

"I thought that was just a rumor." He laughed. I felt my face get quite hot with rage.

"No. I barely use my wand at home. I have to practice my potions in the basement so my father can't see them." I said. My frustration, I discovered, was directed at Draco even though I was really mad at my father.

Things had been hard having to straddle the lives of two different people. A muggle at home and a witch at school. But my heart went out to my father regardless. Life was unfair to both of us, it seemed.

"Amusing, isn't it?" Draco said. I didn't understand, but I assumed he was simply mocking me.

"Yes. I'm so pathetic." I said grimly. Draco shook his head.

"No, amusing that you and I are more alike that I originally thought." Draco admitted. I frowned.

"You and I are polar opposites." I said, standing up in the pool. I tried to wipe the droplets from my face and I prepared to exit the pool.

"Really? So we don't both have fathers who wish we were more like them?" Draco said, startling me with a self-awareness I never imagined he could possess.

I turned to look at him and I'm not sure what I looked like, but I felt completely shocked.

I felt unappealingly vulnerable knowing that Draco understood my biggest secrets: my feelings of inferiority to Julianna, and my inner resentment of my father that I often denied even to myself.

"We do. But so what? It doesn't necessarily make us friends." I said.

"If the definition of friend is knowing innermost secrets, you're already the best friend I've ever had. And I'm pretty sure I'm the only friend YOU'VE ever had." He said.

"I..." I began, indignantly. But I realized he was absolutely right. Neither Julianna nor Ron knew these things about me. According to his definition, Draco knew me best.

"Well, wait a second. A friend is more than that. An enemy can know all of your deepest, darkest secrets." I added.

"True enough. So what's the difference between a friend and an enemy, then?" Draco asked.

That answer was easy.

"Love." I said.

* * *

As soon as we entered the suite, a blast of cold air from the fan hit me. I was soaking and shivering, trying tirelessly to create friction against my skin with a towel.

Draco went straight for the bathroom and turned on the showers, waiting for the steam to begin to warm us.

As Draco undressed I wanted so badly to watch, but I made myself turn around.

This absolutely had to stop.

"I'll take my shower after you have yours." I said, leaving the bathroom.

"Please." I thought I heard him say.

I turned around, wondering if I'd heard right.

"What?"

"Please take a shower with me." He said in a curiously non-asking kind of way.

He robotically began undoing all of my various straps and pulled off my bathing suit. He then pushed me into the shower and followed behind me.

We were both ostentatiously naked and I tried not to look at him or his body.

"Does it bother you for me to be naked as well?" Draco asked.

He ran his fingers through my hair to loosen up all the cold water that still clung to me. His fingers were firm and soothing.

"No. But every time I look at you naked I can only think of one thing." I said as I closed my eyes and slipped into a pleasant daze. Eventually I felt him pull me into a tight hug and I opened my eyes to figure out what was happening.

"Draco?" I asked. My voice disappeared. Our bodies fit together like those necklaces I thought about on my wedding day.

Swiftly, Draco pulled me against him, lifting me until my thighs rested on his hips. He leaned against the tiled wall, shoving me into it with brute force.

"I..." And then I stopped myself before I said it.

I literally almost gasped out loud that I loved him.

I might have still been his enemy, but he had become my friend. My misunderstood, dysfunctional, pain-in-the-neck friend.

Luckily for me, Draco was too distracted to have heard my almost mistake.

* * *

Later, after the shower, I sat up in bed reading an old copy of Grimm's Fairy Tales. It was one of my father's favorites, and I soon became caught up in the tale of the ugly duckling.

He was mercilessly teased because he was different, but one day his differences contributed to his true beauty. He became a swan while all the others turned into regular ducks.

I related to the story because I always felt that someday, my differences would make me blossom into someone better than anyone had ever expected me to be.

For some reason, this time I read the story from Draco's point of view. He was the poor duckling shuffled into a role he'd never been meant to fulfill.

He was different and always had been. But instead of standing up for his right to be different, he just tried helplessly to fit in. Everyone's expectations pushed him further and further from himself until he was literally just a screwed up ugly duckling who'd lost his way.

He would never blossom like this.

But I was neither his mother, nor his therapist, nor some savior. It broke my heart that he was so damaged, but there was little I could do.

Besides, he wasn't _that_ helpless.

"Fairy tales, Davis? You like to read yourself bedtime stories, then?" Draco teased.

He settled himself into bed and I curled close to him and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. It was a gesture that felt completely natural but it surprised the both of us that I did it.

I let him go at once and pretended like nothing had ever happened.

"My father used to read these to me all the time. They make me feel...safe. This is full of stories about fictional people who are a lot like me." I said, showing him the book.

"You talk about your father all the time." Draco commented. I nodded emphatically.

"He's a great man, despite his mistakes. And he's the only father I've got." I said.

Draco took the book from me and began browsing through it.

"You love him that much." He said idly, almost suspiciously.

"Don't you love your father?" I asked.

Draco slammed the book closed and tossed it into my lap.

"They're just fairy tales. Why don't you try reading something real for a change? Something about the magic in your heritage instead of the magic made up by mindless muggles. Or was your father afraid to hurt your feelings with the truth?" Draco asked.

"What do you mean?" I wondered.

"If a girl slaves away in domestic exile and is misteated by her family, it doesn't mean that she'll be rescued by a handsome prince just because she dreams hard for it to happen." Draco said curtly.

"But that's not the point of the story." I said.

Draco, bemused, fixed me with a questioning glance.

"It's a fairy tale. It's meant to make muggles feel better about their sorrows when in reality it makes them feel worse." Draco said. But I shook my head vehemently.

"You're wrong. Cinderella, Snow White, and so many others made the best out of terrible situations. Yes, they got lucky, but the important thing was they never gave up. Good things still happen to good people." I said.

Draco looked at me as though I were stupid. He seemed as though he actually felt sorry for me for thinking such delusional, idealistic things.

"Ah, I see. So all your life you were hoping some handsome man was going to save you from your own ineptitude and make you realize what a joy it can be to love someone. And you've been a good girl all these years only to have it erased with one mistake that's going to haunt you the rest of your life."

"But there's compensation in every disappointment, and things to learn from every mistake. Good things will still come from this." I said.

"A child who will probably grow to resent you, a family who feels you've stabbed them in the back, in laws who will never treat you like one of their own...not to mention a husband who doesn't love you...yes, that all seems like a dream come true." Draco said maliciously.

I recoiled like I'd been stabbed. Even though I'd been prepping myself for the time when we would call a spade a spade, I never expected it to hurt so much.

I wanted to believe that he was falling in love with me. I really had been fooling myself.

"I guess you're right." I said, and turned on my side.

I let the book fall to the floor and I prayed very hard that my tears would not be heard.


	21. The War

The next morning it was time to go. I knew it wouldn't last.

The honeymoon was over. Which was a relief, but at the same time, I felt like we had been in another world these past few days. If Draco were to ever fall in love with me, it would be in a place like this.

But perhaps he was right. My head had been a permanent resident of the clouds and I suppose it was time to float back down to earth.

I said goodbye to Edith and she made me promise to write to her, and I agreed. Aside from that I really had no closure from this little holiday to Wales.

We settled into a small limousine and Draco sat facing the front while I was sitting with my back toward the driver. It was spacious and nice, but I found I missed the towncar.

And I'm sure I would miss a great many things once I'd returned to the reality of Malfoy Manor.

Whatever had come over us during the past few days, it was undoubtedly gone now.

* * *

Once we settled in our passenger car on the train, Draco pulled out a copy of _The Daily Prophet_ he'd gotten at the station and began to read in earnest.

The copy of Grimm Fairy Tales I'd taken with me was nestled safely in my bag, though I never imagined that I'd read from it again. Not anymore.

"Well, Mrs. Malfoy, would you like to see yourself in The Daily Prophet?" Draco asked suddenly.

I shook my head and continued to stare out the window. He shoved the paper at me anyway and I found myself looking down at a photo of the two of us smiling during our vows, looking so much in love.

Draco was obviously a good actor.

"Who took these?" I wondered. I grabbed the paper and scanned the page for the article.

"It could have been anyone, really. I'm glad of it, though. I had completely forgotten to hire someone from the _Prophet_ to announce it. This way it really does look spontaneous." Draco said with a smile.

I found the article and skimmed through it, getting more irritated with every sentence.

"Draco Malfoy, one of the wizarding world's most eligible bachelors, was suddenly taken off the market Saturday night in an impromptu wedding ceremony at the Caernarfon Hotel in Cardiff." I read out loud.

Draco was beside himself with humor.

"You think this is funny, do you? I'm not even mentioned." I realized. I double-checked and confirmed my suspicions. I didn't know whether to be glad of my anonimity, or completely furious.

Draco took the paper back from me and ran a finger down the page, pointing at a certain paragraph.

"Of course you're mentioned. Here: The new bride of the Malfoy heir is an unidentified beauty presumed to be a local of Cardiff." Draco said. I scoffed.

"Well as long as they mentioned me." I said with sarcasm.

Draco folded the paper and tossed it into the empty seat next to him and placed his elbows on his knees, trying to reach for my hand.

"They called you a beauty. Even the world recognizes how stunning you can be when you don't try to be invisible." He said, fingering the wedding ring on my left hand.

"And how long until they discover I'm pregnant, I wonder." I said bemusedly.

Draco leaned back in his seat, summing me up in one of his long, intense gazes.

"Does it matter?" Draco finally said. I shrugged.

I discovered that I was quite tired all of the sudden. Everything had happened so fast and I was beginning to forget what was important to me.

I let my head flop back against the seat and I rolled it back and forth.

And then I remembered myself again.

"Draco, there are a few things we forgot to settle when we were making our terms." I said, my head popping back up.

Draco was settled with his foot resting on the opposite knee, his hands flipping through the _Prophet_ again.

"What things?" Draco asked, not really paying attention to me. My nose wrinkled agitatedly.

"I want to finish getting my degree in Potions." I said.

Draco looked up at me and then looked back at the paper again.

"What for? I have a career that will will sustain us both." He said dismissively.

"Perhaps you didn't hear me. I want to finish getting my degree in Potions at Wiglaf. I don't want to live on your bloody stipend." I put a hand over the paper until I had his attention.

"So you refuse to be taken care of? If I were you I'd think about the consequences." Draco said. I stood up angrily, my hands on my hips.

"Another one of your ridiculous threats, Malfoy? I'm not a chess pawn. I'm a human being. A person with her own mind and feelings." I exclaimed.

I sensed a few angry tears on the way and knew I'd have to leave. I would rather have died than let Malfoy watch me cry.

"Don't get hysterical." Draco said.

"You can't control me." I replied. And with that I threw open the door and stormed off down the hall toward the dining car.

* * *

I ordered a grilled cheese sandwich. My stomach hadn't been the same in ages and the toasted cheese, perhaps, was the only thing that would suit it.

It seemed once there was a baby inside me, there wasn't enough room left for food.

I picked the crusts off and began eating, trying to pace myself so I wouldn't get sick. Within seconds I knew it wasn't going to agree with me, so I shoved the sandwich aside and let my head fall on the table.

"Why?" I said to myself. This was a bloody ridiculous life I'd stumbled onto. I was living one of those movies that I often watched on the telly when I wanted to drown my sorrows. And then I decided to give myself a stern talking-to.

There was no reason to feel sorry for myself. Best to move forward and make the best of things, even if my Prince Charming never came. There was more to life than that, I knew.

I would have the child, Malfoy and I would divorce, I would continue my studies as a single parent, and someday I would look back on all this foolishness and laugh.

I pushed aside the sandwich again and headed back toward the car.

And then I started to see darkness, like the dimming of lights in a theater.

And then, nothing.

* * *

_Davis, the damned fool, Draco thought._

_Getting all upset over practically nothing. And then stalking off by herself._

_Very soon, Draco heard the commotion down the hall and curiously went to the door to take a peek._

_Davis was on the ground, out cold, trying to be revived by one of the kitchen staff. _

_Her nose was bleeding and she looked deathly pale. _

_In that second he hated her so intensely he couldn't stand it._

_He pushed through the onlookers and kneeled next to her, patting her face as if to wake her. He became annoyed when she remained unresponsive._

_He plucked her gently from the floor, finding her rather light._

_"Is there a doctor?" He heard himself ask. A few moments later he had carried her to the nurse's station where a stern-faced woman began to tend to the bloody nose._

_"What happened?" She asked, her lips pinched. Draco honestly had no idea._

_"I'm not sure." Draco admitted. The nurse worked fast and ran her wand all o__ver Davis. Then she put a strange jar underneath her nose to revive her._

* * *

When I came to, a rather somber-looking woman was frowning down at me. Had I died? Perhaps this woman was meant to ward away the wicked from Heaven.

"As soon as you return home, I'd consult your Midwife, my dear." The woman said.

"What's the matter?" Draco asked, alarmed. I looked in the corner and noticed Draco for the first time, standing with his arms tight across his chest.

"It's not uncommon for pregnancy to cause anemia. Nosebleeds and fainting or dizzy spells are the most frequent symptoms. I'd recommend bed rest and plenty of fluids until she can accept more nourishment." The nurse replied.

"Oh, my head." I moaned.

The nurse fumbled around in her cabinet and produced a potion that I slowly drank until my pains subsided.

Draco's face was pinched with concern and he held his arm out for me to lean against him as we walked back to our car. Eventually he slid his hand around my side and drew my arm over his shoulder with care.

"I'm not suffering a broken ankle, Malfoy." I said.

"Shut up, will you? Now tell me why you haven't been eating." Draco snapped.

"Because nothing stays down. And besides, I've been a little too busy entertaining my husband to eat." I said, a partial smile forming at the corner of my mouth. But I stopped myself because I suddenly remembered that we were still having an ongoing fight.

"Are you saying this is my fault?" Draco was angrier than I'd ever seen him. I stopped walking and took his face in my hands.

"Let's get this straight. According to you I've been seducing you since day one. This is obviously my fault for being too sexy." I said, saucily. Draco glared harshly at me.

"I wouldn't give yourself airs, Davis." He said, releasing me and taking his seat.

"How very convenient for you, Mr. Malfoy. When judging my attractiveness, you've always said I was plain and ugly, but when it comes to our mistake, the blame falls into my lap because you could not control yourself. Does this not strike you as contradictory?"

"I've since recanted my opinions on your looks. And if you want me to say it, then FINE. It was OUR bloody mistake. Don't think I haven't cursed myself daily ever since." Draco said petulantly. I could have slapped his face.

"Likewise, Mr. Malfoy. Likewise." I said, regaining my composure.

We sat in a furious silence the rest of the way back and I did nothing but try to suss out my confusion in this whole mess.

It was very befuddling but Draco's actions always seemed to be in constant struggle with his mouth.

I briefly wondered which one would win out.

* * *

"Welcome back, Master Draco, and the Missus." Camus said. I was incredibly happy to see him but I didn't want to embarrass him by hugging him.

"Thank you, Camus. I'm ever so glad to see you." I exclaimed.

Malfoy's face was stony, as usual, and he greeted Camus with indifference.

"Camus, I have special instructions regarding Mrs. Malfoy. She is not to leave my chambers for any reason and she is to be confined to bed until she regains her strength."

"The Missus is ill?" Camus asked. Draco nodded curtly.

"Very ill. She is to have plenty of liquids and rest, and I want you to make sure she gets whatever food she asks for." Draco continued, not even looking at me.

It was as though I wasn't even present. I rolled my eyes and began ascending the grand staircase.

"Stop right there, you." Draco said.

He stood a few steps below me, his shoulder at the same height as my stomach. He lowered himself a bit and then lifted me over said shoulder, carrying me up the stairs in a rather primal fashion.

"Would you care for tea, Mrs. Malfoy?" Camus called after us.

"No thanks, Camus, but blueberry pancakes might be nice." I said, dangling across Draco's back.


	22. The Reconciliation

I didn't see much of Draco during the day.

I was stuck in bed slurping soup and reading books. Books that I'd since stopped really enjoying.

I wondered sometimes what he was off doing, but I dared not ask.

I didn't want him to think I cared. But I really did. I wanted to know more of him and his pursuits.

I was chagrined to realize I'd begun to miss him. And this thought depressed me greatly. What was this hold Draco had over me and all the others?

When he returned at night, he slept soundly next to me, away from me.

We barely spoke.

We used to lie close to each other, touching each other. And now we were virtual strangers lying in the same bed.

This was exactly what he was talking about when he explained his problems with women. It seemed they always wanted more than he could give them.

I wanted more, it was true. But I had no right to ask for more. I was already being treated like a princess.

It further upset me to know that I was just like every other girl he'd complained about since we first met. The whole reason he'd started treating me civilly was because he'd thought that I was different. That I was immune to his unearthly charm and sensuality.

Maybe he knew, deep down. The silent treatment was his way of punishing me for falling in love with him.

I just wish he knew that I was punishing myself far better than he ever could.

* * *

"More water, Mrs. Draco?" Camus asked, entering the chamber. I shook my head with melancholy.

"No thank you, Camus. I'm fine." I said, my body frozen in the fetal position with my hair sprawled across the pillows.

"You've hardly eaten anything today. Mr. Draco will be very concerned." Camus said.

I didn't reply right away. I was hard pressed to believe that Draco could ever be that concerned about me.

"Camus, do you ever read fairy tales?" I asked.

Camus scratched his chin and gave a thoughtful nod.

"I suppose I did, or at least heard of them. I think everyone has at some point in their lives. I do believe that's one cultural commonality between wizards and muggles. We all have our fairy tales." Camus replied.

"I used to read them whenever I felt lonely. The characters became my friends. They taught me how to live, how to look at the world, and at people." My voice was hollow and sad.

"Perhaps Mrs. Draco would like to read _Tales of Beedle the Bard_? Or maybe a few titles by the Brothers Grimm, or perhaps Hans Christian Andersen?" Camus asked.

"No, I wouldn't. They're just fairy tales. Stupid, meaningless fairy tales. Right?" I said with wavering conviction.

Pity party, table for one, I said to myself.

"There is some universal truth in every tale...Would you like me to send for someone to keep you company?" Camus wondered.

"I don't want to see anyone." I said.

Camus excused himself and I was left alone again. Camus was exceedingly wise for a house elf and I began to truly cherish his intelligence, his sagacity, his humor. Even the Malfoys treated him like a rich muggle family would treat a respected butler.

My thoughts then turned to Draco.

If this was love, no wonder Draco guarded himself well. It was a heartsickness that made one miserable. I was in a wretched state of despair because Draco hadn't spoken to me or touched me in days. I wanted him to pay attention to me, even if it was to curse me.

It was a textbook obsession and I'd clearly gone off the deep end. This was not the way I wanted to behave or think.

I fell in and out of a restless sleep, comatose by my own self-loathing, but when I prized one lazy eye open, Julianna was standing beside the bed looking fierce.

"I'm so delusional." I murmured to myself, believing her to be a phantom. I'd entered the realm of deviance and abnormality.

Julianna gave my arm a healthy smack.

"Davey, thank you _so_ much for letting Father and I know you were getting married over the weekend." She said.

She looked rather angry, but more worried than anything else. I poked her once just to be sure of her presence, and Julianna made a face.

"I didn't think you would come." I said honestly after a brief pause.

I sat up in bed and moved over a bit in case she wanted to sit down.

"Well...maybe not, but you still should have asked." Julianna said.

She was a radiant vision, as always, and I was reminded that I'd never surpass her beauty.

"I never thought you'd speak to me again." I said. Julianna's face softened and she slowly sat down on the bed.

"I gave it a great deal of thought...and I think you're being punished enough for what you did." Julianna admitted. She began twirling the ends of my long hair between her fingers.

"I've missed you so much. You're my best friend, Jules. It was a perfect Hell having to do without you." I said.

I curled around her arm and leaned my head on her shoulder. My eyes began to well up with tears of relief and joy that Julianna was here with me.

"Me too, Davey. I don't know why I let myself get so mad. Everyone's entitled to have mistakes. You've always forgiven me for every single one that I've made." Julianna said.

"Sure, but your mistake didn't have a domino effect that destroyed several lives." I said. I flinched and realized my mouth must have been possessed by some dead soap opera star.

Julianna gave a tinkly laugh and leaned back on the pillows with me.

"You've always accused me of having a flair for the dramatic. It seems that somehow we've switched places."

"Say again?" I asked, amused.

Julianna rolled on her side to face me and I could tell from her expression that she did seem awfully different.

"When I heard about what you did with Draco, I was determined to never talk to you again. I thought you'd been keeping things from me and I felt so betrayed...but I started to think about how you must feel. It's almost as if everyone's turned their back on you. And I knew I was being unfair, because you've always been there for me." Julianna said.

She began brushing the tears from my eyes with the pad of her fingers.

"You've been a mother to me as well as a sister. And this time...I wanted to be there for you. And to tell you I'm sorry for how I've acted in the past. You didn't deserve my scorn, Davey. I shouldn't have judged you like that." Julianna admitted.

I felt my throat close up as I realized how mature she was becoming.

"Julesy." I said.

I crawled into the crook of her arm and let myself stay there. I finally felt some of the emptiness fade. It was nice being the one taken care of for a change, since I was usually the one taking care of others. It was scary, but somewhat warming on the inside.

"I had no idea we'd have such a sappy interlude, but...I have a feeling we are finally seeing each other in a different light." Julianna said with mirth.

"Sappy?" I was crushed. I didn't want anything to ruin this lovely exchange.

"Davey, you've always been so sensible. And you've pretty much always held your emotions in check. So imagine my surprise when I come in and we have a moment like we've just had...the old Davis would have made a joke because she was uncomfortable with such emotions." Julianna said.

I began to cry again, and I didn't know why.

"Oh, Davey, what's the matter?" Julianna said, half laughing.

"I'm so emotional and I don't like it." I wailed. Julianna laughed again and pretty soon I joined her.

My hormones were completely wretched. They were turning me into a mad woman.

"You are pregnant, Davey. That tends to make ladies a bit moody sometimes." Julianna said. She pulled me closer and ran her fingers through my hair consolingly. She was right, and knowing that made me feel better. Perhaps I wasn't even in love with Draco. It must have been a by-product of overactive pregnancy hormones.

We lay there for a long time not saying anything in particular, but eventually I wondered at something.

"What made you decide to come here?" I asked her. Julianna seemed surprised that I didn't know.

"Well, Malfoy sent us an owl the other day explaining that you'd been married but you were taken ill. And he hinted that we should come see you." Julianna said.

"That doesn't sound like Draco." I retorted. Julianna shrugged.

"No, it doesn't. At least, not the Draco I'm familiar with. But one thing is for sure, everyone has been talking about how different he's become." Julianna said. I stiffened.

"Can we talk about something else? Anything else." I said.

"Okay, Davey." Julianna said.

And she began to hum a song to put me to sleep.

* * *

_Draco had returned home. _

_It was late again, but that could not be helped. It wasn't like he was staying away on purpose._

_He strode up the staircase and once at the top, he spotted Davis' sister emerging from his bedroom. _

_"Julianna." He said, giving her a polite but excessively formal nod. Julianna stopped in front of him and cocked her head to the side._

_"Be kind to her. She's not well." Julianna said. Draco cast his eyes downward, somewhat guiltily._

_"I was hoping you would cheer her." He said. _

_"I did what I could. But I'm not the one she really misses." Julianna told him. _

_Draco watched her descend the staircase and wondered who she meant. Her father, perhaps? He knew the feeling._

_Or perhaps she meant Weasley? That damned Weasley. It annoyed Draco that he was bothered by the possibility.  
_

_Draco entered the bedroom with its dim lighting and began to remove his suit jacket._

_"Julesy?" Davis murmured from the bed, still mostly asleep. He could see her fingers seeking out another warm body in bed._

_Draco cautiously got into bed and placed the searching hand onto the warmth of his chest. She cuddled close to him and gave a soft, child-like sigh._

_"Jules? Do you think fairy tales are stupid?" Davis asked, her voice far away. She was half-gone._

_Draco became nervous and wondered what he should say. Supposing she discovered he wasn't Julianna?_

_"No." He said carefully._

_"Can you read some to me?" She asked in a pleasing tone that would fit a little girl. _

_Draco made a face but glanced about him to find her silly book of Grimm Fairy Tales._

_Draco wordlessly summoned the book to his hand and flipped to the beginning. _

_It was the story of The Frog Prince._

_"Oh, perfect." Draco muttered. _

_But he began to read of the spoiled and haughty princess who befriended the lowly frog and eventually kissed him to reveal the end of an enchantment. _

_He recognized it to be a sweet story. For little girls._

_"Ridiculous." He said to himself when he'd finished. _

_But he had to admit, it was rather pleasing. He almost wished he could believe in it._

_Before he felt himself drift off to sleep as well, he kissed Davis' head and continued to hold her close to him.  
_


	23. The Change of Plans

_"Has she eaten yet?" Draco asked Camus. Camus shook his head._

_"Not at all. She sleeps most of the time, sir." Camus said before excusing himself._

_Draco had come home early, feeling a sense that he was needed._

_He entered the bedroom he shared with Davis and as Camus had said, she was sleeping just as she seemed to do constantly._

_He hated it. She needed to regain her strength._

_He crossed the room and sat next to her on the bed, shaking her shoulders gently._

_"Davis." He said. Davis opened and closed her eyes several times._

_"What is it?" She asked in a tired voice. _

_"You can't keep going on like this. Tell me what I can do." Draco's voice was gruff with worry._

_"I want my mother." She said, closing her eyes again._

_Draco cursed under his breath and released her. He immediately sent for a doctor._

* * *

The days had been a blur to me. I remember Julianna coming to see me, and that we reconciled, but other than that it was nothing. A black hole.

And then soon I felt much better.

I was in Draco's bed staring up into the eyes of a strange man who gave me a friendly smile.

"Yes, she'll be right as rain now. It can be a dangerous cycle and one can get weaker and weaker, but hopefully the vial I've given her has broken the cycle." The man said.

I sat up in bed slowly, my energy coming back to me.

Draco was at the foot of my bed (our bed, really), his arms wrapped around himself making it quite clear that he was furious with me.

"Going to join the living, Mrs. Malfoy?" He said. I stuck my tongue out at him.

* * *

I sat at the table, Draco sitting across from me as usual. Camus served us dinner and I held nothing back. I'm sure I looked a sight as I vacuumed everything up from my plate. Draco seemed pleased, however.

"Draco, I know that we haven't always gotten along, but...if you insist on being away so much then I feel I should be allowed the same freedom." I said.

I realized that part of the reason I hadn't been able to eat was that I'd been lonesome for Draco.

I hated myself for that.

I needed to leave Malfoy Manor. For any amount of time.

"To visit your family? Or perhaps your redheaded lover?" Draco said in a rather teasing tone.

I felt like I'd been struck. Draco didn't seem to care, and more than that, he implied that I was the sort of woman who would do that. He didn't know me at all. My face turned a shameful red and I looked down into my lap.

"Wasn't your idea of the perfect marriage one in which we could live our own lives? You're free to pursue anyone else, too." I said with a great amount of difficulty. The thought of him making love to anyone else caused me more pain than I ever wanted to admit.

"You don't deny it, then?" Draco asked. His face was hard and unyielding. I couldn't tell how he felt. But he probably didn't feel for me at all anyway.

"Ron is my friend. He was there for me when everyone else had turned their backs on me. He's never asked for anything in return." I said. I refused to let him debase Ronald Weasley when he was clearly the better sort of man.

"And me? I turned you away as well? I married you, didn't I?" Draco's eyes began to glow with an inner fire.

"I'm not your wife, Malfoy. I'm just your property." I said in defeat.

I rose from the table, excusing myself and wondering how in hell I'd survive living next to him for the next several months watching him go around with other women; women who would be much more gorgeous than I ever dreamed of being. And knowing that I had absolutely no claim to his affections.

"You know, Malfoy," I began before I left the room, "you were right."

"How's that?" He asked somewhat condescendingly.

"In real life, Cinderella would have died alone, having worked her life away for people who never gave her a second thought. Fairy tales are nothing but lies."

I walked through the halls alone, too numb and devastated to even cry.

I made a promise to myself that if things ever became unbearable, I'd run away. To a place where Draco could never find me.

But for now, I wanted to go home.

* * *

I stepped through the fireplace, glancing about me.

My home was just the same as it had been all the years of my life. It was comforting and held all the familiar smells.

I drifted into the kitchen and was pleased to find that my father still kept fresh blueberries around to make food with.

I popped one into my mouth and grinned.

I would be fine. As long as I was away from Draco.

"Look who's home. Hello, Stranger!" I turned around and my father stood in the doorway, his arms outstretched to embrace me.

I hugged him close to me and I could almost forget the last several weeks had happened. It was almost like I'd been away at camp.

"Dad, I...I want to move back home." I said, my head nesting on his shoulder. I knew I didn't deserve that choice, but I still wanted to come home.

He held me out at arm's length to look at me, a flash of horror on his face.

"Are the Malfoys mistreating you?" He demanded to know. I shook my head emphatically.

"Nothing like that. But all this has made me realize how important family is, and that I should be with them whenever I can. Please, Dad?

I promise this has nothing to do with them. I just miss you and Jules." I exclaimed.

My father was no fool, and though he wasn't convinced that I hadn't been abused in some way, he smiled at me warmly.

"You're always welcome at home, love." He said. He grabbed the bowl of fresh blueberries and headed to the stove with boyish excitement.

"What shall we do with these, then?" He asked, putting on his apron. My smile grew wide and I'd almost forgotten my mouth could stretch that far.

* * *

_After dinner, Draco returned to the bedroom. He wasn't surprised not to find Davis there._

_She'd said her piece and he figured she must be incredibly disgusted with him by now. _

_But no matter. She'd probably moved back to the chamber across from his, or gone home to her father.  
_

_She'd no doubt told as many people as she could find how horribly he was treating her and how much she hated him.  
_

_Soon there was a smart knock on the door and Draco wondered whether or not Davis had given up resisting him. It was a fleeting hope.  
_

_Draco opened the door and was perplexed that his father, and not Davis, was on the other side._

_"Draco." Lucius stood expectantly, waiting to be invited in._

_"Father, what is it?" Draco stepped aside and Lucius entered his chamber, taking a seat in one of Draco's plush armchairs in the corner._

_"I've been thinking about this marriage. Perhaps I was...a bit too hasty in forcing you to marry that girl." Lucius said. _

_Draco flinched at the way Lucius referred to Davis as "that girl."_

_"Hasty?" Draco seated himself in the other armchair and could feel his body become tense._

_"I was extremely offended by the behavior of Astoria Greengrass. At first I thought, what harm could it do to marry Davis Christie. The Christie family is, of course, predominantly pure-blooded. Except for that squib." Lucius spat._

_Draco's face drained itself of color._

_"But you've changed your mind?" Draco said. Lucius gave a low, thick chuckle._

_"I've been giving it a great deal of thought. If your Davis hadn't taken advantage of you, Astoria would not have called you a liar. Her behavior is to be blamed on Davis." Lucius claimed._

_Draco struggled to understand where this was leading._

_"Perhaps, but I've already married her. She's carrying my child. What's done is done." Draco said. _

_Lucius' eyes took on a strange gleam._

_"Not necessarily." Lucius said. _

_Draco felt a wave of panic wash over him._

_"Times have changed. I consider the Christies as essentially pure-blooded." Draco said. The argument was futile._

_"Yes, but it does not to extend to your wife's branch of the family tree, I'm afraid." Lucius asserted._

_"And what is it you'd suggest I do?" _

_"Annul the marriage." Lucius said. _

_"Davis is having my child. I can't." _

_Draco could hardly believe what he was hearing. _

_Lucius was nonplussed. He leaned closer to Draco as though imparting a secret. _

_"No one has to know, Draco. If we cast a shadow on her reputation, which shouldn't be too difficult, then her word won't mean anything. She'd be a fallen woman. An outcast. Even if she claimed you were the father, who would care? Nobody would believe her. And then you'd be free to marry Astoria." _

_Lucius stared at Draco intently, examining his expression._

_"Astoria doesn't want to marry me." Draco said. He wracked his brain to come up with excuses._

_"That's not exactly true. I've had lunch with Astoria's father every single day this week. We've both decided that the best thing for the both of you is to marry."_

_"She'd never agree." Draco stood and began to pace. _

_"Of course she would. She loves you. Just woo her. Put her under your spell." _

_Lucius sat back and became curiously entertained by Draco's behavior. This was not the reaction he'd been expecting.  
_

_"I won't turn my back on my own child." Draco said finally._

_Lucius stood, watching him with great interest. He finally began to put the pieces together. _

_"We could compensate her quite well. A woman like her should appreciate that." Lucius wondered if his notion about Draco was correct.  
_

_Draco caught his father's eyes and wondered how he could say such things._

_"She's too proud to compensated." Draco said, his voice growing weary. It was incredibly tiring to argue with someone who refused to be wrong. _

_Lucius was silent for a moment but then he began to laugh.  
_

_It was a harsh, grating laugh. _

_Draco looked at him questioningly, as the discussion was far from humorous._

_"You've fallen in love with her." Lucius said, as if that was the most ridiculous thing in the world. _

_Draco's face reddened slightly._

_"I just want to do the right thing." Draco said. _

_Lucius stopped laughing and gave an impassive shrug._

_"It's perfectly natural that you should feel attracted to her. There's something other worldly about her. She's incredibly sensual in an odd, innocent sort of way. If you don't want to lose her, then by all means keep her for a mistress. As long as you're discreet, I see nothing wrong in it." Lucius said. _

_He rose to his feet and gave Draco a few fatherly pats on the shoulder as if they'd just shared a special, memorable talk. _

_Well, it had been memorable. Infamous, but memorable._

_Draco heard the door close and felt extremely powerless. _

_He loved his father, but he knew he never fully had his approval. There were conditions on his father's love, conditions of obedience. Draco hated to displease him. _

_He glanced down at his wedding ring and wondered at his cursed life. Why was he forced to choose? It was all so terribly unfair._

_"I'm in love with Davis." Draco said absently. He said the words aloud to see if they sounded right. Interestingly enough, they did. _

_It didn't matter, though._

_She didn't love him back and his family was now keen on his marrying Astoria. _

_Draco knew his happiness had never mattered to anyone._

_With great fury, Draco began grabbing anything he could lay his hands on, and throwing it against the wall._

_There was no remedy for what ailed him. And there never would be.  
_


	24. The House Guest

My father, Julianna and I were seated at the dinner table having a good laugh as if time had been reversed. It was just the three of us like it had been for a long time, and I can't remember feeling so happy. Father had made his old fashioned fish and chips recipe with a special blend of spices he fashioned himself with ingredients he planned to keep secret for as long as possible.

Father had told us an amusing story about what had happened to him that day when he went to purchase the fish and potatoes and somehow we all added another layer of humor by contributing to the story until we were practically wiping the tears from our eyes. Mirth had never flowed so freely as it did then.

Finally, when our bellies were full from food and sore from laughter, we reluctantly rose from the table and deposited our dishes in the sink where we created an assembly line system in order to wash them. Father washed them, still wearing his apron, and then he passed them to me, where I rinsed and dried them. Julianna put the dishes away and made sure the tables and counters were clean and shiny.

Draco crossed my mind a few times during the meal, regardless of the fun I was having. I thought about him even more as I rinsed and dried the dishes, wondering what he was doing at that very moment. He never did tell me where and how he spent his days when he was gone. For all I knew, he was courting Astoria Greengrass again.

I frowned and heaved a heavy sigh. Julianna glanced at me as she rubbed the counters with a sponge.

"I can finish those, Davey, if you're tired." She said. At first I began to shake my head, but I let out a sudden yawn and realized perhaps I should stop.

"Thank you, Julesy. I don't know why I'm so sleepy all of the sudden." I admitted. I excused myself and climbed the stairs in the hallway to my bedroom, rubbing my eyes in exhaustion.

I headed straight for my bed, plopping down face first and letting my limbs hang carelessly over the sides. I let out a tired moan and made another tally for my mental checklist of pregnancy symptoms. I tired easily these days.

"Can I not trust you to take care of yourself?" I heard Draco say. I wondered if it was my quirky imagination but I turned my head to the side and saw him standing near my door. I was confused.

"Malfoy? What are you doing here?" I said, my lips slightly muffled under the bedclothes.

"I have the same question for you. In case it has escaped your attention, we are married now. I'm entitled to know where you are. Do you think it's fair to just leave without any explanation as to the reason, or to your whereabouts?" Draco said. I sat up in bed and made a confused, disgruntled face.

"Me? I'm being unfair? You were the one who left me all those days without telling me where or why. I missed you-" I began, but bit my tongue. My cheeks flared to an unsightly shade of red and I turned away before I could see Draco's reaction.

"You've been absent for several days. At first I assumed you were in your old bedroom. Camus told me you weren't. Then I assumed that once you had had your fill of freedom, you'd come back. Only you didn't. What exactly was it that I did or said to drive you away?" Draco said angrily. I heaved an inward sigh and shook my head. If he had to ask, then he probably wouldn't understand.

But then I realized I was actually grateful and excited that he'd asked at all. He was giving every impression that he really did care for me. At least, that's what I hoped. But I instantly scolded myself for being so transparent. Draco needn't know of my blossoming affections.

"I wonder why the great Draco Malfoy should care that his lowly and pathetic wife went home." I said. Draco didn't miss a beat.

"This isn't your home anymore. Your home is with me at the Manor." Draco stood as if he was going to leave and wanted me to accompany him. I smiled in a way that lacked all joy and pleasantness. I didn't move a muscle to go anywhere.

"My home is with the people who love me." I said. Draco scowled when he saw that I was extremely unwilling, but he seemed to have lost his cruel edge to find a reason to manipulate me. A few weeks ago he might have tried to threaten me or something, or cut a shrewd deal with me.

Instead he paced with all the fervor of a pent-up tiger. It was rather nice to see him slightly less than composed.

"Then I'll just stay here as well. Until you come back." He said, as though punishing me. Despite his poor attempt at meanness, I couldn't honestly say that it would be punishment. I'd missed him more than I ever thought I could miss anyone, and now he was here. And he was going to stay with me.

"Fine." I said, keeping up the charade that this was not what I wanted. Draco gave a curt nod.

"Now let's alert your father." Draco said, shedding his black suit jacket and draping it over my chair. He then took me by the arm and dragged me downstairs to the kitchen where Julianna and my father were still working.

"Mr. Christie, how do you do. Julianna, always a pleasure. Forgive my intrusion but- " Draco began with the niceties until I smirked and interrupted.

"Dad, is it okay if Draco stays with us a while? You know, to get away from it all..." I said, winking at my father.

My father immediately smiled and nodded. He'd always kind of liked Draco. It was Lucius he absolutely loathed. Therefore it was completely understandable to my father that Draco would want to leave his house.

"Of course. You are always welcome here...son." My father gave Draco the friendliest hug this side of the Atlantic and I could tell Draco was speechless.

"I thank you." He managed to mutter. Julianna gave him a cautious smile, no doubt as surprised as I was about how much Dad was taking to Draco.

"Make yourself at home. You are one of the family, you know." My father patted Draco's shoulder and then resumed his duties at the sink.

"Thanks, Dad." I said, pulling Draco back upstairs with me. I didn't want Draco to start asking questions that would disillusion my father.

"What the devil were they doing?" Draco asked after I'd closed the door to my bedroom. I had been prepared for this.

"Washing the dishes so they could be used again." I said. Draco's eyes remained dull and uncomprehending.

"We don't use our wands at home, Julianna and I. It hurts our father's feelings when we do." I said. Draco seemed to understand that and he left the topic alone.

I was still tired, so I crawled under my covers and slipped down to a large shirt, cuddling with my stuffed bunny. Draco undid his suit vest and loosened his tie and dress shirt.

"Is there any room left?" He wondered, trying to make a suitable place for himself on my small bed. I sat up and tried to move a bit just as Draco caught sight of my rabbit.

"There's the bloody git taking up all the room." He said, plucking the rabbit up by one of his ears.

"Give him back!" I said, reaching my hand out to retrieve him. Draco raised him just out of my reach.

"You really want him back?" Draco teased. Even though I could feel the beginnings of a smile on my lips, I nodded solemnly. Draco rolled his eyes and dropped the rabbit in my lap before turning over on his side.

"Thank you." I said. I was mildly touched that he seemed to know how important the rabbit was to me. And how he didn't make a big deal of it. And something else...the fact that he'd teased me. As if he really liked me.

I felt the strong muscles of his back against my own. It was an incredibly comforting feeling, that. And I could smell whatever fancy cologne he used mixed in with his own natural essence. He was intoxicating me all over again. But this time was different.

I wasn't as much in a state of eros as I was in a state of pure love. I wanted to press my cheek against his back and fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.

I shook my head. It was ridiculous and unacceptable for me to feel these things for the man who was on the wrong side of the war. A man that had intended to kill our beloved headmaster. All the rumors I'd ever heard about his malicious nature and selfishness dictated that I should not have feelings for this man.

Then why was it that whenever he was near me I felt a light go off inside? As if I'm only ever complete when he's at my side. I knew they were stupid feelings and they didn't make any sense. I wanted to love Ron this way. He was better for me and would give me less heartache, but I couldn't help myself.

I could hear Draco's deep breathing, and I was at once peaceful. I smiled in the dark at the notion that_ he could possibly feel the same way about me_. It made my stomach turn over several times as though I were making internal pancakes.

I could hardly sleep that night thinking that maybe...just maybe...Draco could really be mine.

* * *

_"Ah, Draco. Have you given any thought to our conversation?" Lucius turned around in his chair and set his elbows atop his desk, a malicious smile forming at his mouth._

_Draco stood a little straighter, his eyes focused somewhere off to the side as he prepared to say his piece. He didn't want to be looking at Lucius until he was completely finished._

_"I've given it a great deal of thought this week. And I agree with you. Astoria is much more suitable to be my wife." Draco began. He knew it was true but he didn't want it to be. He wanted to live in a world where Davis Christie was his perfect mate._

_"Fine, fine. You're going to dissolve the marriage, I assume?" Lucius asked. Draco shook his head._

_"I want Davis to have security. She and I will divorce as originally planned. I will still acknowledge the child and I will make sure she is well provided for." Draco paused, knowing full well that his father would want to interject._

_"But Draco, that's so messy. And who knows what foolish idle chitchat will be bandied about after this. No, Draco. You must annul it and completely cut off all responsibility. If you're so worried about her, make her your mistress, as I've said." Lucius said._

_"Of course no one will gossip about my having a mistress." Draco said. Lucius fell silent. Draco took that to mean he would stay quiet until he finished._

_"She will be well provided for and once the divorce is through I will marry Astoria, if she will have me. But only on the condition that my needs are met." Draco said. Lucius gave him a wary and somewhat shocked glance. Draco had never tried to bargain with him before. He didn't know how to take it._

_"What needs are those, son?"_

_"I need some time. I need time to arrange things and time to tell her. But most of all I want time with her as my wife. Having her as my mistress is out of the question, therefore, I want to savor this time while I can."_

_Draco could hardly believe himself as he said it, but it was true. He wanted as much time to be with Davis as possible, then he'd leave her alone. He also couldn't believe he'd revealed so much of his heart to his father. Once upon a time he had vowed never to do so again._

_Lucius cast his eyes down on his desk, reflecting a hint of guilt._

_"You will learn to love Astoria, I'm sure." He said, somewhat coldly. Draco gave a quick nod and dismissed himself from his father's study._

_He was going to find Davis and demand she spend time with him no matter how much she resisted. These next few weeks and months were going to have to last him a lifetime.  
_


	25. The Old Draco

It was morning, glorious morning.

I hadn't enjoyed a morning like this for a long time. All my troubles and woes were forgotten. I was with my family, they had forgiven me, and I was with Draco, who actually cared enough to come look for me. And best of all, he was staying. In my room, no less.

I made my side of the bed and stopping frequently to admire how childlike and vulnerable Draco looked when he was sleeping, and I wondered how anyone could really be as bad as they were made out to be. No one could be reduced down to their worst act. People were so much more than that. My Draco had a good heart, but he'd never really learned to love.

My Draco. I got a peculiar chill when I called him that to myself. I'd never done that before.

I also couldn't tell whether or not the chill was a pleasant one. Was this sudden case of lovesickness a good thing? Indeed, I was not myself as of late and I couldn't decide on much of anything.

Except that Draco had somehow slithered his way into my affections, for better or worse.

I must have zoned out while looking at him, because he opened his eyes and realized that I was staring. I shook my head and the focus was broken.

"Do I look so very dashing in the morning, Davis?" Draco's voice sounded incredibly tired and lacked flirtatiousness. I smiled modestly and rolled my eyes in a good-natured way.

"I..." I began, trying to make some excuse for looking at him. All of these pretenses were exhausting and I suddenly grew weary of telling lies, even at the expense of getting hurt.

"Yes, Draco. I do think you're very dashing." I said, very cleanly and without presumption. He had called me beautiful once, and it was about time I returned the favor.

I put away my nightclothes and stepped into the bathroom to brush my teeth, trying to maintain a sense of control within my environment. My inner feelings might have been in turmoil, but at least I could keep my outer self tidy.

From the bathroom mirror I could see the bed, and Draco's expression was one I could not fathom. He looked a curious mixture of confused, relieved, angry, anxious, and happy. No wonder I had no idea what he felt. It could have been anything.

"Davis?" Draco called mildly. I turned around, my mouth still full of toothpaste.

"Mmm?" I said. Draco glanced at me, his face clouded with uncertainty.

"Would you...like to see where I've been going during the day?"

* * *

When we were both properly dressed and done up, Draco took me by the hand and headed toward the fireplace.

A pinch of floo powder and the recitation of "King's Cross Station" brought us to the very place where we would go to board the Hogwarts' Express Train as students.

"You've been going to the school this whole time?" I asked him. A part of me felt so relieved that Draco wasn't stealing time with other women. I smiled wide and grabbed his arm excitedly.

"I'm Professor Malfoy. Or have you forgotten that? Since it's my first year, I've been going through the whole textbook to make sure I know exactly what I plan to instruct and how I plan to instruct it." He said.

"I haven't been back since my schoolgirl days." I said, suddenly feeling like an old woman even though it wasn't that long ago.

"And you still don't remember when we met." Draco stated. I peered at him curiously, remembering his story from our honeymoon that I hadn't believed at first.

"Actually...I think I know why I didn't remember. You never asked to help me, you just told me I was doing it wrong, if I recall." I said, referring to the day I stayed behind in potions for some extra studying. Draco smirked, obviously pleased that I finally remembered.

"I couldn't very well have admitted the real story, could I? Then Edith wouldn't have found me so charming and affable." Draco defended himself with a smile. I couldn't help but share it. Even when he was being wicked, somehow I couldn't help myself. He was so inexplicably appealing.

Once we ran through the brick barrier and came to Platform 9 3/4, we were able to board almost immediately, which surprised me since I had no idea the Hogwarts Express was used so frequently during the summer season.

Boarding was like immersing my head in a Pensieve. My past memories were flooding back to me and it was as if those days had come back.

"Here. You'll need this if you're going to help me." Draco said, handing me my wand. I gaped at him.

"How did you find this?" I asked. Draco smiled and said nothing, and since things were turning out so pleasantly, I decided to let the matter stand.

Together we sat in our private car watching the familiar scenery go by on our way to beautiful Scotland. It had felt like ages ago.

"You mentioned needing help? I'm a bit surprised, Draco. If you really needed help at something, you probably wouldn't admit it." I said.

Draco gave me a rather friendly smile, indicating that he was pleased how well I knew him.

"I don't need help, but I know your interest lies with Potions. I thought this might be a chance for you to practice, since you don't at home." He said. I must have smiled then too because I was absolutely pleased as punch that he seemed to understand me as well.

But before I could fully enjoy this wave of unsuppressed happiness, I began to realize this was as well as we'd ever gotten along in all our time of knowing each other. Draco seemed to be on his best behavior. This fact helped me to approach this situation with caution.

Weren't Malfoys always sweet as sugar whenever they wanted something? I hated thinking like that, but it was true. Or at least it had been as long as I'd known of the Malfoys. Draco was being uncharacteristically kind and charming. He was all roses and no thorns.

Just what the devil was he up to?

"Something the matter?" Draco asked. My expression somehow had hardened during the course of my thoughts, and I could feel my brows heavily knitted in confusion.

"Oh, nothing. Just thinking about what potion I'd like to try first." I said. Draco smiled again. I had never seen him smile so much and it was quite disconcerting.

"What potion _would_ you like to try first?" Draco asked. He seemed quite eager to know and again I was affronted by this marked change in his personality.

"Perhaps Veritaserum, in order to get to the bottom of who you really are, and why you're suddenly pretending to be someone else." I said. My eyes were sharply taking everything about him inside myself in order to analyze every gesture, every glance.

"I don't understand." Draco said, frowning. I still peered at him, hoping something would unlock the ultimate truth for me. Was he the same way he'd always been, or was I just in love and wearing those rosey-colored glasses that impaired my take on reality? Perhaps he was changing because he really loved me back? Or maybe even a little of both, I thought.

"I just meant...you've been acting so strangely. Showing me such kindness and taking an active interest in my thoughts. You're not nearly so selfish as I thought you were. Or at least...you don't _seem_ as selfish." I said. I expected Draco to either come clean and ask me for whatever it was he wanted, or yell at me for being suspicious, prolonging the charade until he eventually told me what he really wanted.

Draco did neither. His face clouded over and I could see that damned wall rising in front of him, shielding him from all things. He looked neither happy, nor angry. He simply looked impassive and apathetic. As if he no longer cared. And that cruel snarl of his was lurking at the very edge of his mouth.

"I understand. Draco Malfoy is incapable of having any human qualities. Everyone says so. Ask Potter. Ask any one of my former classmates who wasn't in Slytherin House. I'm a coward. I have neither a heart, nor feelings. And what's worse, I revel in it. I thrive in my own selfishness, it's true. Why shouldn't you doubt it?" Draco said. With that he fell silent.

I examined him once more, but my eyes did not look at him the same way. I felt deeply that he was lying.

But he was right about how other people perceived him. Draco was practically a public enemy at Hogwarts once the war ended. Much talk went on about how horrible he'd been to pick the wrong side and that he'd intended to murder the Headmaster. Only somehow, he'd been too childishly scared to follow through with it. Talk of him had been ghastly.

But the truth was, no one really knew why he didn't kill Dumbledore. Or better yet, no one really knew why he'd been afraid.

I suddenly longed to ask him, but I knew I'd ruined any chances in the near future by my reducing him to his reputation and his former character. Draco was having a hard enough time breaking through his own bonds without my contributing to it by refusing to accept his efforts as sincere.

"I love you." I said. My eyes widened horribly. It just came out. As if I had no control.

Draco eyes darted from the window and rushed over to mine. His expression had not changed but I'm sure I looked a fool with my mouth hung open helplessly and my eyes as wide as a tree frog's.

When both of us continued to stare at each other in complete silence, I was overcome with regret. If he really loved me, my own admission would have prompted his.

Essentially his silence was a refusal of my feelings.

My heart sank somewhere beneath the earth's core, burning with all the anger and confusion and wounds I'd accrued since my love for Draco had begun. I didn't know what to feel and I didn't know what to do with myself now that the truth was literally staring me in the face.

My stomach took on any feelings that my mind refused to handle, and within seconds I was running to the restroom to be sick.


	26. The Hogwarts Express

I dreaded going back to that car. I thought about it as I cleaned my face and took in a few deep breaths.

I was afraid to face him. Afraid of being tormented by him, by the situation. He could laugh at me or tease me, or even if he took pity on me, the very nearness of him while knowing that his affections for me were lukewarm at best, it was more than I could bear.

But as I looked in the mirror at my haggard reflection, I knew that bear it I must.

The steps back to the car took as long as I could make them without drawing attention to myself. When I reached our car, I took another deep breath and went in.

Draco stood upon my return, a marked look of concern on his face.

"I'm fine." I said without emotion. I sat in my seat quietly, not looking at him. Draco, still standing, ran a hand across the back of his neck.

"Davis, look. About-"

"Forgive me. I must have lost my head." I stated evenly and somewhat bitterly. Draco cleared his throat.

"Is that so? Regardless of...your feelings, I did wish to say...that I recognize you as...a true friend." Draco managed to say despite being extremely flustered.

I glanced into his face and could tell that he was attempting to say something genuine with no possible recourse, and that for a Malfoy this was rare indeed. But somehow hearing the word "friend" after all this certainly did not help matters at all. It didn't help my heart.

I felt my face scrunch up and I knew I was crying. In front of Draco. No matter how hard I tried to have the whip-hand over him in every situation, he was always one step ahead of me. So cool, so calm. And here I was exposing my vulnerabilities in front of him.

I was truly naked now, warts and all. And though I knew I'd look back on this day with tempered feelings, at this very moment, I knew this to be the worst day of my life thus far.

"Don't cry, all right?" Draco's voice sounded tender and unsure. I could barely see him through my tears.

"The reason we've been getting along so well is because I was supposed to be different. " I sobbed.

I knew I sounded pathetic and pitiful. How appealing could it have been to have a woman he barely thought of as a friend crying her eyes out because she'd fallen for him.

I felt Draco's arms circle around me, his cheek pressed against my own. His flesh was cold, but a certain warmth translated through his skin.

Within a few moments, after my tears had subsided, Draco released me and looked into my eyes.

"At first it mattered...but now I don't mind so much. If I had a heart myself, I might - " Draco began, but never finished. This confused me, but it pleased me enough to keep my world from spinning out of control.

I leaned over to him and we locked lips, kissing gently with subdued passion. I pulled away eventually and dried my tears.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put you in such an awful position, Malfoy. It must be terrible to have someone be in love with you and to feel the guilt of being unable to reciprocate. That's never happened to me, but I can imagine it would be painful." I said. For some reason I was quite fearful of silence.

"Davis, listen to me...forget about all of it. Everything. Today, I'm just a husband spending time with his wife." Draco said, tenderly kissing my palms.

* * *

"Take the mortar and pestle and -"

"I know, Malfoy, I remember. Grind the Essence of Cicero into a fine powder." I said. I began to crush the chalky pink chunks and wondered idly what Draco intended to make.

"Essence of Cicero actually has a muggle counterpart, did you know? It's kind of like the chemical bismuth used in upset stomach remedies." I said. Draco gave a half-smile.

"Not bad. You guessed that I was making a remedy to cure an unsettled stomach." He said, mixing Panya Powder into the cauldron. He poured the final ingredient, Liquid Mint Leaves, and he stirred the combination. He then gestured for me to finish the concoction using my wand.

With a large smile on my face, I pulled up my sleeves and tapped the cauldron for effect.

"Sanare Stoma." I said. The mixture swirled around and became light pink in color. I put down my wand and gave a nod of satisfaction.

"Very good. You should try some in case you get sick again." Draco said.

Even though I knew the stuff tasted horrible, I drank of it to appease Draco. I made a nasty face and gagged slightly.

"The mint is supposed to be for taste. I suppose its presence was wasted." Draco smiled.

* * *

"Where will you live once the term begins?" I asked. I knew that some teachers lived on the grounds and others, like McGonagall had once, at Hogsmeade.

"I'm to get a room in the same wing as the Slytherin Commons." He said. We were walking down the hallway, reminiscing a bit on old places, people, and experiences that we shared, albeit not together. I realized I would undoubtedly stay with my father.

I began counting the months on my fingers until Draco gave me a questioning glance.

"The baby is due sometime in February. You'll be back to school from Christmas break by then." I explained. Draco frowned.

"I'll return immediately. Rest assured of that." Draco pulled my hand into his cold, clammy one. I felt a sudden jolt through my body, like I'd been shocked from a faulty-wired lamp.

"We've...never really talked about the baby." I said. I felt instantly shamed about the way I'd behaved. I was acting like the pathetic heroine of a soap opera. I needed to be much more responsible and mature than that, what with a baby on the way.

"No. I suppose not." Draco said. He seemed rather uncomfortable but I pressed on regardless.

"For instance, I haven't even thought of any names yet." I said. Draco suddenly smiled.

"Scorpius." He suggested. I did a double-take.

"Scorpius? Erm..." I struggled to admit that I wouldn't name a dog I hated Scorpius. But Draco seemed to really like the name.

"Great, isn't it? Quite masculine and mysterious. Perfect for the next lucky Malfoy heir." Draco exclaimed. His excitement prevented me from telling the truth.

"It's certainly something to think about. But perhaps the next Malfoy heir is a girl?" I wondered.

Draco was silent for a bit.

"What was your mother's name?" Draco asked.

"Oh? Her name was Adelaide Christie." I said.

"Adelaide. We'd name her Adelaide." Draco said in a very matter-of-fact way. I began to melt inside.

"Thank you." I murmured. Draco was being so kind and gentle, and I was loving every single precious second of it.

"Davis?" Draco began. We'd reached the gardens and began to walk around.

"Yes?"

"If it's not too difficult to remember about her, or rather...if it's not too painful-"

"She died in a building collapse when I was much younger. Julianna was practically a baby." I said.

"Building collapse?" Draco seemed puzzled but eventually he seemed to realize that he already knew the story, but had never made the connection before today.

"It was one of the closest calls we've ever had in years of being discovered. An irate wizard casting spells in a muggle building with witnesses. When my mother's plan to stop him backfired, she was forced to sacrifice everyone in such a way that made it look an accident. The scandal is what ruined our name, some said."

The scandal that my mother was some sort of an evil martyr, sacrificing innocent people and herself, taking the coward's way out. The scandal that forced the Ministry to enforce even stricter codes. The Christies had suffered a blow with my father's birth, and then with my mother's scandal. But the prospect of the Christie name being almost worthless from what it used to be didn't phase me at all.

"Your name isn't ruined." Draco said.

"My grandfather said my mother's big mistake was marrying my father, the squib. Being the head of the Muggle Liaison Office in the Ministry was just icing on the cake." I can't believe I was mentioning all this when I hadn't heard myself say it in years.

So many people had asked me about it in school that I'd had to come up with some memorized, all-encompassing answer that would relieve their curiosity and get them to leave me alone. Somehow giving it the clinical treatment made it hurt less.

"Your mother loved muggles, too?" Draco asked. I gazed at his face in caution, wondering where his past prejudices were hiding.

"Mother loved muggles, but she loved being a wizard as well. She walked a fine line with everyone, it seemed. My father wanted her to live the muggle way, and pureblood society wanted her to leave my father."

"Davis, I'm sorry." Draco stopped mid-walk and grabbed my hands.

"Sorry for what?"

"I'm sorry I was such a prat a long time ago. I'm sorry...about everything." He said. The effort had been great, I could tell by his labored breathing and strained expression.

"Practically everyone was a beast in school, Draco. We all had our moments, at least." I said. I wondered just how many people believed that Draco was beyond all redemption. The rivers of hatred among former supporters of Lord Voldemort ran quite deep.

"Not like me." Draco said with heavy bitterness. It was my turn to stop.

"There's something I'd like to ask of you as well. If it's not too difficult, or painful." I began. I could see Draco's shoulders tighten.

"I think I know what you're going to ask." He said. I waited for him to go on but he didn't.

"Were you going to read my mind?" I said after long pause.

"Oh, yes. You were going to ask me about Pansy? Or Astoria, maybe?" He said, suddenly. My mouth dropped open, as that was not at all what I had intended to ask.

"No, although now that you mention it..." I murmured. I didn't know if I wanted to hear such things. And then Draco laughed.

"Are you jealous, then? Go on, admit it." Draco said, using his charm to distract me. And of course, it worked.

"That's a rather dumb thing to ask." I said. It did not amuse me that my feelings were being mocked.

"Perhaps I just wanted to hear you admit it." Draco said, all the humor in his voice gone. I gave a sigh and sat down on the steel bench beside us.

"What for? You already know the answer." I was beginning to get extremely uncomfortable with all this talk. Draco stood in front of me and leaned down, our faces only inches away.

"Then answer me this: do you trust me?" He asked. I was baffled. How could I know that? I didn't even know what he meant by it.

"I don't understand."

"Davis, it's quite simple. Do you trust me as a person? To keep my word, to be honest, to not hurt you...that sort of thing?" Draco wondered.

"I suppose I do. In most conditions." I said, looking up warily into his handsome face. Draco smiled faintly, stealing a kiss from me that I didn't want returned.


	27. The Hogsmeade Trip

After we'd surveyed the grounds and had enough of the memories, we were finally ready to leave. But at that moment, as we walked through the main hall, McGonagall stepped briskly toward us.

"Mr. Malfoy, a word, if you please?" She said rather curtly.

"Of course." Draco said. He gave me a glance that told me he had no idea what she wanted. McGonagall finally looked over at me.

"Please excuse us…" McGonagall began but as she looked at me, she started in shock. Then she squinted as if to make sure.

"Miss Christie? This is indeed a pleasant surprise. And you with Mr. Malfoy." She said questioningly. I could certainly relate. Draco is the last person I should have been seen with.

"Actually, as of late it's Mrs. Malfoy." Draco said with a hint of pride. I hoped to God I wasn't blushing. McGonagall's eyebrows rose slightly but she managed to hide her utter mystification.

"Congratulations. Perhaps we shall see more of you then. Mr. Malfoy, if you please." She said, leading him away and giving me a nod of goodbye. And then I was all alone in the empty great hall of my youth, wondering what was to become of me in the future.

Should I divorce? Draco was my friend and lover, even if he wasn't willing to give me what I really wanted. He was being very good to me lately. And he wanted to stay married, or so he said. I honestly didn't have many good reasons to divorce him. The idea that this marriage was a sham to begin with was the biggest reason. But somehow it didn't feel like a sham anymore.

And he seemed so resolute in the idea that he wanted to stay with me. As much as I'd misperceived him before, I wanted to take him at his word now. I wanted to show him that I really did trust him like he said. If I doubted him now, it would probably be all over between us.

I stared off into space, so lost in my own confused thoughts that I didn't notice Draco's hand on my shoulder.

"Oh!" I squeaked. Draco smirked good-naturedly.

"The Headmistress gave me a detailed review of my schedule and my duties. Last minute nerves I suppose. She probably regrets giving me the position." Draco said absently.

"I don't think that's it. Don't talk like that." I said. We began walking again.

"It hardly matters. We've signed a contract and everything."

"Don't think of yourself so meanly. For someone who has scolded me so harshly for my own self-image, I'm quite incensed." I said, though hardly incensed at all. Draco's lips formed into a small smile.

"Perhaps you're right," Draco paused, "While we're nearby, would you like to go into Hogsmeade?"

I debated this with pleasure. Spending the day in Hogsmeade with my husband, whom I loved dearly… I must have wished on just the right shooting star.

During my years at Hogwarts I watched my peers take their dates and have romantic little jaunts all over Hogsmeade sharing a mug of butterbeer and cooing at each other as though no one else were in the place. I never knew what that was like, but perhaps I was going to find out.

"I'd love to." I said happily. I curled my arm around Draco's arm and more than anything I hoped that this wonderful feeling I had was going to last.

"Madam Puddifoot's, then?" Draco asked. I shook my head when I realized that I wanted some Cauldron Cakes and Teacle Fudge.

"Honeydukes." I said firmly.

* * *

Within half an hour I was scarfing down several of my favorite delights from Honeydukes. Draco was watching me with a mixture of fascination and relief.

"I'm going to become a gigantic toad." I said through mouthfuls of sweets.

"As long as you don't get sick again, I don't care." Draco said. We were sitting on a bench outside the shop and I was eating more than I ever had upon becoming pregnant.

"I was never that sick." I explained. Draco scowled and was silent for a good while. I kept on eating and I recalled that I didn't actually remember much of when I was sick, but I guess it had been quite bad.

"Draco, did I ever tell you that…" I began. But I became quiet thinking that he might get upset or uncomfortable with my admission.

"Go on." Draco muttered. I could tell he was interested but trying not to let on.

"I did think about you a bit. Back in school when I tended to dream more than live, I thought about you in rather…indecent ways." I said. And then it struck me that he might believe I'd actually planned to seduce him from the beginning.

"I didn't like you at all but I was still incredibly attracted to you." I began to explain. Panic set in, but Draco rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure many girls fantasized about me." Draco said with a smile. I made a snarling face, wrinkling my nose.

"Oh, please. You've just made me regret every kind thing I've ever said to you." I snapped. I stood up and made as if to go to the station, then waited patiently as Draco followed suit.

"Is that all you wanted to do in Hogsmeade Village?" Draco wondered.

"It is now, you terrible Casanova. I can't believe you would provoke my jealousy in such a manner." I exclaimed. Draco grinned at my outburst.

"Would you be smiling half as wide if the situation was reversed? If, perhaps, Ronald Weasley admitted he loved me and wanted to marry me?" I suggested.

"And he'd be too late." Draco said, his smile gone. I looked down at my feet and heaved an extremely heavy sigh.

"Sometimes I wish he hadn't been." I admitted. It certainly would have made life easier. Draco recoiled, shocked beyond all measure that I'd said such a thing.

"Perhaps there's still time. You'd like that, wouldn't you? To marry Weasley? Are you sorry you came to the wrong bedroom, then? Or didn't you plan that night all along to end up like this?"

I felt my hands clench. I didn't know whether to cry or crush him beneath my shoe.

"Draco…" I warned.

"I bet you regret it now, don't you?" Draco said in his smarmy way. I felt the blood rushing in my ears as I lifted my hand to slap him. Draco, his reflexes always one step ahead of mine, grabbed my arm before I could touch him. Then he actually dared to kiss me. It was a forceful, terrifying kiss. It was like kissing the lips of a stranger.

I pushed him away, still fuming.

"Don't ever talk about Weasley again. I don't want you to see him, talk to him, or even think about him anymore."

"You do not have the final say in what I do." I reminded him.

"I'm your husband, damn it." Draco spat.

"That's not a good enough reason." I said, managing to keep outwardly calm though a raging storm was carrying on inside me.

"Then do it because I love you." Draco said, his voice breaking.

I stopped breathing.

…..


	28. The Relationship

My heart was in my throat, throbbing violently in an effort to keep my body from collapsing in shock.

My happy ending was never meant to come true, and I was just getting used to that. There was something calm and reflective about keeping happiness at arm's length. Loneliness never actually killed anyone, did it?

We stared at each other, Draco and I. Was this what he wanted me to trust him about? Perhaps he was looking for the right time, and then it just came out. My own declaration of love was hardly a perfect moment either.

"You said...you had no heart." was all I could think to say. Draco appeared to be frozen, as if he actually felt betrayed by his own words.

"I don't know." Draco said. He looked very weak and tired all of the sudden, and I wanted so very much to hold him and kiss him and tell him I would take care of him forever. But I was uncertain.

He might have said he loved me, but he certainly didn't look happy about it. Perhaps he was ashamed or dismayed by this love. I suddenly felt that changing the subject was the best course of action.

"I could go for a butterbeer. All this standing around has made me thirsty." I said in an awkward voice. Draco's face warmed considerably and it was almost as if the moment had never happened. Once again, I didn't know whether to cry or punch him in the face.

"Me, as well." Draco said, pulling me by the hand.

* * *

"Draco?" I said after a considerable amount of time. We were enjoying our butterbeers and sitting across from each other at a table in the corner. Both of us seemed a little too timid to speak.

"Yes?" He asked. He looked over at me with one of his smouldering glances and all I could see was the light froth on his upper lip. I smiled.

"The day that I met your mother...the day we had tea together...she was awfully nice to me. I can't help but admit that it surprised me. She'd always had a peculiar...distaste, I guess you could say...for people like me." I said disjointedly. Sometimes it was extremely difficult to get my point across without offending him.

"You're asking why my mother was nice to you?" Draco wondered. I nodded somewhat lamely. Anybody could make it sound pathetic and stupid.

"I've just...never known her to be so agreeable. She does know who I am, correct?"

"She knows that you love me." Draco said. I got chills all over when he said that, but I remained expressionless.

"What difference does that make?" I persisted.

"I don't know. She is just as you would expect her to be around Pansy, even Astoria. Very polite and perhaps a little cold. But you apparently brought out something in her that the others didn't. That is something I truly do not know." Draco admitted.

I was still confused about the matter, but it made me feel good to have an ally. I had gotten the feeling that Draco's father despised me and would like to see me on the business end of a wand someday. To know that his mother kind of liked me, even in the littlest measure, was something to be glad about.

"I do love you. And I can honestly say that I didn't know that I loved you until our wedding day. It was as if all of the sudden it was real. The vows I made were real." I explained. Draco's eyes drifted downward, staring at the table in soft silence.

"All of our prejudices and misunderstandings didn't keep me from realizing that, Draco. I think my feelings are undoubtedly real." I added.

"Davis, there's something I have to tell you." Draco said in a rush. I perked up and wondered if he was going to broach the subject of loving me again. I wanted to know that he accepted his own feelings as well as mine.

"About our marriage..." He began. He stopped himself with great effort and looked at me strangely, as though he were pleading with me to release him from completing his thought.

"What about it?" I asked. I suddenly became quite worried. His tone of voice hinted at bad news. This was what I had been fearing.

"Nothing, I was just...planning on having a party. I can tell everyone exactly who I married, and I can announce that we are expecting our first child." Draco said.

I immediately felt that Draco was covering up the truth but I couldn't bring myself to ask.

"Our first child? You expect to have others?" I asked instead. This was news to me.

"I want whatever you want." Draco said, his eyes searching mine. I nodded, smiling in spite of myself.

"I suppose we should have this one first and then discuss it." I said delicately.

"Speaking of which, we still need to give him a nursery, don't we?" Draco said, his eyes taking on a certain excitement that made me shiver.

"Scorpius, is it?" I chuckled. Draco nodded emphatically. He looked quite the part of the happy expectant father. I was floored.

Perhaps I'd entered some other wizarding dimension in which all of these transpired events were perfectly normal.

* * *

I curled into my bed, exhausted once more. I felt lethargic and cheerless, though the day had given me some of the happiest moments I've ever experienced in my life. I didn't know how to deal with all this. So, to cope, I ended up throwing the covers over my head and hoping I'd wake up on the day of the party at Malfoy Manor and no matter how much Julianna begged me, I'd tell her no and keep my resolve firm.

Draco spent the evening downstairs doing Merlin knows what, but I was glad to be alone.

Secretly I'd always wanted to be alone, no matter how much I said I wanted love. Now that Draco had told me he loved me, I worried for the day when he would take it back. When he would hurt me. It didn't matter how much I trusted him, I still knew that people hurt one another inevitably. This happiness I was feeling...it would end.

I hated to cherish it when I knew it would not stay long.

"I'm scared." I whispered to my stuffed bunny. Just like things that go up must come down, the pendulum was going to swing. Tragedy could not have been more than a heartbeat away.

I heard the door swing open and within minutes I felt someone bounce on the bed beside me.

"Easy, I've had way too much to eat today." I mumbled beneath the covers.

"Davey, your Draco is quite smitten with you. I almost couldn't believe it. No offense." Julianna said.

"None taken, you twit."

"Dad was telling him all about you, showing him pictures, remembering funny stories, and when I left they were talking about little Scorpion or something or other." Julianna added. I groaned loudly. I could just imagine all the horrible little embarrassing stories Dad was telling him.

"It's like...he's so different from the way he was in school. He's really changed, Davey."

"Mmpff." I mumbled. I had noticed long before she had. But the truth was, he'd always been this way deep down. No one had bothered to understand him.

"I think you have everything to do with this change." Julianna said with a wistful air. It seemed even though she had matured, she was still incredibly dramatic at heart.

"I'm not responsible. This situation...the baby, getting married, all of it has really brought out the best in him. He's really a decent man, Jules." I said, pulling the covers down enough to expose my face.

"Well, whatever it is, even I can say that Draco is definitely growing on me." Julianna nestled beside me like my little sister and I realized our old roles were now restored. I had to admit, though I liked the motherly touch, I liked bestowing it better than receiving it.

"Me too." I said automatically. Julianna giggled.

"I can tell you're in love. You've got this funny glow about you whenever you look at him." Julianna said.

"I do not." I exclaimed. But I found myself smiling anyway.


	29. The Last Night

Sometime after Julianna's visit, I fell asleep again and did not wake until my husband slipped into bed with me.

"Draco?" I murmured. Draco curled himself around me, slipping his arm around my hip.

"Mm?"

I slowly turned over to face him, my chest tightening and my stomach swirling at the very sight of his face. I loved him so very much.

"Don't ever leave me?" I asked. I glanced into his eyes, and found them quite distressed. Eventually they took on a hard look of determination.

"Never." Draco said, tightening his grip around me. I felt along his arm for the scars of his past life. Draco flinched when I touched them.

For a moment I was quiet, trying to formulate a sensitive way to ask what I'd always wanted to know.

"Please tell me why." Was all I could manage.

Draco's face was stern and angry, but to my surprise, he began to answer anyway.

"There's no good reason, Davis." He said tightly. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up, his head down as if in shame and regret.

"You've been bullied. Please don't be afraid to be yourself, Draco. Let everyone see how wonderful you are."

"I'm a heartless bastard. I joined the Dark Lord's cause. I pointed a wand at someone who had never done anything to me. I cowardly reverted back to other side once we lost. There's nothing you can say to convince that I'm anything other than what I am."

"You spared Dumbledore. Even when the stakes were high…_My_ Draco has a good heart, but he can't always express what he feels inside. He's a good person. But he has difficulty trusting others because he's afraid they won't give him a chance." I said.

"More of your fairy stories again?" Draco said, his voice a little brighter. I nudged him gently and shook my head.

"Draco, all my life I've known you, but I've never really known you. This summer we've made love, created a child together, gotten married…and you've become my best friend. You know me so well and I'd like to think that I know you, too. Maybe if we both hadn't been afraid to be ourselves…we would have fallen in love a long time ago, and things would have been different now." I said. I wasn't sad about the past, though. Love at any time was a cause for celebration.

I leaned up and kissed him gently, sweetly, on the lips. Draco pushed me back onto the bed and turned the sweet kisses into fiery ones. He ravaged my lips at the same time he was sliding my clothes off. I felt a peculiar sensation in realizing that this would be the first time our lovemaking would be absolutely sincere. We were both in love, and we both knew it.

I kissed him again and as we experienced each other as though for the first time, I was happy. Not temporarily happy, though I knew this might never last, but happy to last me always, even on cold, lonely days in the winter of my life.

I knew what it was like to share my life with someone who had come to appreciate me, to love me, even when all circumstances dictated it. Someone who wanted me, wanted to be with me always even if it wasn't the easiest choice.

I had fallen in love with someone I'd grown to respect and care for, because I could see his soul deep down. And it was beautiful.

"I love you, Draco." I whispered. Draco ran his fingers across my lips, his body suddenly still.

"No matter what, Davis…I love you too. Don't ever forget it." He said, looking into my eyes with intensity. Then he kissed me quite deeply.

* * *

Somewhere in the night I shivered and I knew it was because I was still naked, but also because Draco's warmth was absent.

I sat up in bed immediately, feeling around for him. My heart sank when I felt a piece of paper where Draco had been.

I picked up my wand from my nightstand, as Draco had suggested that I keep it close to me, and with a heavy feeling I whispered "lumos" over the note.

_**Davis,**_

_**I've loved spending time with you and your family. Unfortunately, some business calls me back to the Manor, namely our party, in which I plan to tell the whole world how much I love you.**_

_**I'll send for you in a few days when everything is settled.**_

_**For now I want to remember you as you were in your bed: nestled in my arms, naked and beautiful.**_

_**Love, Draco**_

I smiled and blushed slightly at the note, wondering where to hide it so that Julianna wouldn't be able to find it. But a part of me still felt uneasy.

There was something sneaky about leaving in the middle of the night. Couldn't he have left in the morning after breakfast? Was there something else going on that he was afraid to tell me?

I missed him already and I didn't want to go even one day without seeing his face when he smiled, or hearing his voice.

But I suppose I could deal with it, as it wasn't the end of the world. It certainly felt something like it, though.

I pulled on a shirt that my father had leant Draco, inhaling the scent he left behind.

I missed him. And now I knew why I'd never wanted to be in love in the first place. Draco was my other half, it seemed, and without him I was now incomplete in a way.

I rolled my eyes at myself, wishing that I could be invulnerable to romantic sensibilities. I simply had to remind myself that I was not too good for love. After all, love is the only thing that makes everyone equal.

* * *

_Upon his return, he was called into his father's study where he stood patiently, waiting for Lucius to turn around and acknowledge him._

_"You're back from the world of make-believe, I see." Lucius said, facing Draco with a curious stare._

_Draco stood still and said nothing, the shadows of early morning flickering across his face._

_"Tell me, my son…was it worth it?" Lucius wondered maliciously. It was plain to see the subject caused great turmoil, but Lucius wasn't about to be merciful._

_"I got what I needed." Draco said, as if to bite back. It gave him no pleasure to be so cruel, but he knew it was time for his heart to freeze over if he was ever to make it through this life._

_"And what was that, exactly?" Lucius drew out every word in condescension. Draco glared at his father, never realizing he could hate and fear him so much at the same time he so desperately desired his approval and love._

_"None of that matters now. Within a few days I'm going to end the marriage with Davis. Then I will resume seeing Astoria, if she'll have me."_

_"Wise decision, boy. I was beginning to think this Siren had bewitched you of your sense." Lucius said with a sneer. Draco held his tongue._

_Though he suddenly realized that he had been bewitched. It wasn't her fault that she was so damned captivating and easy to love. Anyone, he imagined, who really took the time to cultivate and explore her would certainly be in for a prize._

_She saw through him. And loved him regardless._

_"I also think it's an excellent idea not to have her as your mistress. You've made me realize that she's caused nothing but trouble in our lives ever since she entered. Truly it's best that she's gone once and for all."_

_"As you say." Draco said. Lucius nodded, contemplating the discussion until satisfied that Draco was completely centered on the right path._

_"I'll have your mother invite Astoria over for dinner tomorrow night. Then you can apologize to her and charm her, whatever you have to do…and for Merlin's sake, do not let her get away this time."_

_"I won't." Draco said. His words meant nothing anymore. He promised Davis he'd never leave her. He asked her to trust him. The only words that were supposed to have meaning would turn out to be the most dishonest when she discovered the truth about him. Therefore, Draco would never need to promise again. Promises no longer had any meaning._

_After all of this, Davis would have to realize that she'd been so terribly wrong about him._


	30. The Castoff

_Draco sat at the desk in his room, debating over whether or not it would be better to tell Davis the truth in person, or to write her a letter._

_He was poised over a piece of parchment. Would it be less painful? More painful? He knew for certain that if he told her face to face, that he'd have to bear her pain as well as his own._

_Draco stared at the blank page, imagining her expression as she read that he could no longer be with her and their child, although he would provide well for them in the future._

_He imagined the tears that would fall when he admitted that he was planning to marry Astoria as soon as he could arrange it._

_He hated himself, suddenly. Never before had he felt such criminal self-loathing._

_She deserved to know this from his own lips._

_On that blank piece of parchment, Draco scribbled an invitation for Davis to join him at Malfoy Manor the next morning. He would tell her then, and do what he could to convince her to take a small fortune as compensation._

_It wouldn't be enough to repay the damage he'd caused, but at least Draco would be assured that she and the baby would be taken care of._

_Lucius watched from his window as the owl made its way to that Siren of the Deep. He had once commanded the utmost respect and fear from Draco, as it had always been._

_But now his hold had been loosening. He felt it day by day._

_If there was any chance that the Siren would try to come to the Manor and convince Draco to remain with her, Lucius had to demolish it._

_The Siren had to be caught and kept away._

* * *

I tried to go about as usual with my day. It wasn't easy. Aside from missing Draco, I'd begun to have a strange feeling inside, as if something bad was on its way.

I shook those thoughts away, as that was my natural instinct. When anything good ever happened to me, I always looked behind my shoulder at the same time for the bad.

Maybe…this time was different.

I began looking over my texts from Potions classes, as it always clears my head and calms me. But not this time, I realized, as I read the same list of ingredients ten times over.

I dressed and had no idea where I wanted to go, but somehow I found myself walking into town. It was indeed a lovely day, and I had a few lovely moments to myself.

And then I remembered that there were other people in my life I had not made amends with yet.

Two people I felt I'd treated very badly.

Two people I was a little nervous about very nervous about seeing.

Perhaps I shouldn't have been so nervous about seeing Ron, as he immediately hugged me close and didn't seem to want to let go.

"Where the devil have you been? I haven't seen you." He said.

"Draco and I got married." I said. Ron's eyes went wide with shock. Even though it had become natural for me to say it, I recognized that it quite stunned the rest of the world.

"You're joking. No bloody way." Ron's mouth hung open and I delicately closed it for him.

"I'm serious. And…it's not so bad, actually." I assured him. Ron shook his head.

"Not so bad? The man sauntered in here, practically hurled you over his shoulder, and took you away like some sort of beast. No respect at all."

"He's changed, Ron. We were both wrong about him." I said, sitting down on his sofa. Ron sat by my side, looking confused and oddly miserable.

"I can't believe it. This undermines everything I've ever believed in my whole life. Draco Malfoy…not that bad? Come off it. That git can't change any more for the good than you can for the bad."

"I almost can't believe it myself. He's been abused since birth and has a hard time being himself around anyone. The Draco everyone knows is pretty much the show he puts on for his father, I think."

Ron sighed and rolled his eyes. The Golden Trio would no doubt never truly get over all the damage Draco had done in the past.

"I wanted to see you, Ron. This isn't about Draco. I just wanted to spend time with you because I missed you and I wanted to apologize. There's a great deal I want to get off my chest."

"Go on." Ron leaned in closer to me. I inhaled deeply and tried to muster up some bravado.

"You befriended me when I needed a friend the most. I never forget things like that, Ron. You mean a great deal to me. And I'm sorry for taking you for granted." I said. I kissed Ron on the cheek and smiled at him.

Ron didn't smile back, unfortunately.

"Can I ask you a personal question, Davey?" He asked. I nodded, feeling my heart beating wildly. Would he never forgive me?

"You said you were wrong about Draco. Does this mean you…love him?" Ron asked.

"I…I think I do." I said, stammering. Ron suddenly hung his head, looking deflated.

"This was what you meant, was it? Taking me for granted?"

"Ron…" I began to reach for him but he stood up rather forcefully.

"I was there from the first, supporting you and…somehow becoming enamored of you in the process. All Draco has to do is swoop in and play you for a fool and now you're in love with him?! Why not me?"

I stared down at my hands resting on my knees and felt undeniably guilty.

"I'm sorry." I said. So many times I'd asked myself the exact same question. It was just as unfair now as it had been all those other times. Ron was probably the one I should have been in love with.

But I couldn't help it. Draco was the man I loved.

"I accept the apology but I don't accept that you love him. If you don't mind, Davis, I'd really like to be alone now." Ron said.

So I bit my lip and left.

* * *

Of course, seeing how the first played out, I was more than anxious about how the second would go. Astoria was the other person I'd wronged and I was determined to put things right.

I stood in front of the entire expanse of the Greengrass estate and felt my courage waver. As badly as I wanted to make amends, I was afraid of how I'd be treated.

A house elf noticed me pacing at the entrance and eventually inquired about my business there. Very soon I was taken to the drawing room to wait for Astoria, who I'd been told was just freshening up in her room.

It dawned on me, not for the first time, that Astoria was really a much better match for Draco than I was. It was depressing.

My own house didn't have a drawing room, we didn't have house elves, and there certainly wasn't the sense of pomp and propriety. Draco and I were from two different worlds, literally.

_Stop it now, Davis. Draco loves you for who you are. He told you to never forget it._

"Hello, Davis! I haven't seen you for quite a while. How are you?" Astoria entered the drawing room looking lovely in a pale pink gown that swirled about her as she walked. She was so beautiful I could hardly contain my feelings of jealousy.

"I'm well." I said rather awkwardly. Astoria was the picture of kindness and affability when I had expected her to be rather cold. After all, I'd stolen her intended.

"That's good to hear. Oh, Davis, do sit down." Astoria said. She seemed positively beside herself with pleasure and joy. We sat down together, her holding my hands, and I wondered idly if perhaps she had not heard that we'd been married.

"Actually, I've been meaning to invite you over." Astoria beamed. I blinked and stared at her stupidly.

"I don't know what you said to Draco, but when you told me you were going to help, you really meant it. I'm so grateful to you, Davis. You really came through for me." Astoria began, squeezing my hands happily. Her bright eyes were twinkling and I began to understand why.

"Julianna didn't mention my-" I asked.

"No, but then you're such a dear. Draco has invited me to dinner at the Manor this evening. I think he wants to rekindle our relationship!" Astoria trilled.

My heart began to break as the reality of things began to settle in my mind.

Draco had probably been lying to me all along. He'd probably chalked our secret "marriage" up to just rumors and misprints. But why? Why bother telling me he loved me?

My eyes began to burn and a terrible feeling of agony overcame me.

"Davis, are you feeling all right?" Astoria began, her face full of concern. I nodded and put everything away from my mind. Astoria and Draco were together again, as it always should have been.

This was for the best, and I was going to take it like a lady.

"I'm so...thrilled, Astoria. I was hoping everything would work out...and now...everything is wonderful." I said, my voice cracking. I could feel the strains on my throat and knew I was going to start crying any minute now if I didn't leave.

I rose and glanced at the clock in the corner of the room.

"I'm so very happy for you, but I actually meant to drop by for only a minute. Please forgive me." I said. I almost broke into a run to get out and as soon as I emerged into the sunlight, I knew my face was already streaming wet.

It wasn't fair...but neither was what I had done. Whoever Draco chose, it wouldn't be fair to someone.

But why did it have to be me?


	31. The Agony

As always, whenever I struggled with anything, I went swimming. Without even changing clothes, I plunged into the lake beyond the house, floating on my back and trying to make sense of my feelings. I'd been fighting them so hard for all this time. As soon as I relented, I found they had been betrayed.

I felt the gentle tickle of my hair as it floated all around me like seaweed. It no longer soothed me as it once had.

All of the problems I'd ever had in this life, I had been able to calm in one way or another by swimming, or talking to my father, or eating something with blueberries. This issue was something I knew would not be assuaged by anything. Not for a long, long time, if ever.

Part of me didn't understand that it was really over. Draco had never said so. But ultimately, the way our last night ended up…his leaving, and the note he left behind…all of the sweet nothings…and then Astoria.

What had I been thinking all this time? That Draco had really begun to love me? That this marriage…that everything…was real?

Draco had played Pansy and the other girls for fools all through school. Ron was right.

I smiled bitterly, water seeping past my lips. Ron had been right, and I refused to listen to him.

I looked up at the sky and wondered what my father and sister would think. They'd really gotten to like Draco. This would hurt them very much as well. Trust betrayed in any form is something truly horrible. I felt a fresh batch of tears coming out especially for them.

The baby. What of him? Or her? Would he live his entire life thinking himself an abandoned child? That his father did not love him, want him, or accept him? Could I overcome that by giving him twice as much love?

Raising a child alone did not seem so frightening, but I hated how his life would forever be marred by this. If I could never trust again, how would I teach him to trust others?

Somehow, within an hour, I was able to feel a bit better about things. My child still needed me, and if anything, he was proof that at one point, I felt loved. It wasn't entirely a dream.

I swam toward the little dock out on the back deck and climbed over it, rising to my feet and getting water everywhere in the process.

I wrung my hair out over the water, watching the drops make ripples into the lake. Ripples that stretched far beyond the tiny point at which they started. Funny, that.

"Interesting attire for a leisurely swim." I heard from behind me. The voice made my blood turn cold.

Slowly I turned to face him, wondering why insult to injury was necessary. His son didn't want me, but I suppose he wanted to rub it in somehow.

"It couldn't wait." I said. I was skeptical and frightened, but I maintained a proud look and was determined to show no emotion.

Lucius Malfoy stood before me, clad in his finest cape and cane, his long hair draped across his shoulders and his eyes alight with a certain fire.

"My son wanted me to deliver this to you in person. He felt that it would be too impersonal to send an owl." He said, withdrawing a letter from inside his cape. He handed it to me with a gloved hand as if I was too dirty to touch, and glared at me.

"He needn't have bothered. I got the message loud and clear from your Astoria." I said, refusing the letter for whatever it contained. Lucius gave a rather wicked smile and I suddenly wanted to run my fist through his mouth.

"For all your money and titles and prestige, whatever's left of them, you and your son have absolutely no class." I said. I saw his eyes flicker with rage, and within seconds, a gloved hand flew across my face.

I lost my balance and fell back, grimly understanding the expression that the truth hurts. Lucius and I stared at one another for a while. I stood up and offered him my face again.

"I'll repeat it however many times I need to." I said.

Lucius grabbed his cane and held it as if to strike me, but he lowered it down.

"Don't come near my son again. You won't even live to regret it." Lucius spat. He turned on his heel, whipping his cloak in my face, and was gone. The cursed letter floated to the ground at my feet.

* * *

I stood there in my bathroom, dripping. I felt somewhat justified about the confrontation, but no telling how soon my rush would wear off and I would experience the devastation of being left behind.

I dried off and looked into the mirror. The corner of my mouth was bleeding and my eyes looked puffy and red.

I didn't want anyone to see me like this.

I crawled underneath my covers and realized that I was crying again._ Damn my eyes, damn my foolish senses…damn my heart._

_Damn you, Draco. You didn't have to pretend. _

I cried silently for a long time, feeling an incredible ache inside me; like a gigantic hole that had somehow found its way within me, wishing to consume me.

For now, I let it.

* * *

_Draco paced back and forth. He expected a note from Davis, or at least some notice that she'd received his invitation. Perhaps she knew what was coming and was too angry to reply._

_Draco ran his hands through his hair. His eyes were wild, and eventually he noticed that his cheeks were wet with tears that had somehow escaped without his consent._

_She had to come. He had to tell her. He had to explain. Somehow. She had to know that he still wanted to take care of her, even from afar._

_A sharp knock on the door interrupted his crazed reverie and Draco soon found his father standing before him, a broad smile on his face._

_"Draco, your guest has arrived. Shouldn't you be joining her?" Lucius took Draco by the shoulder and began to lead him out of the room._

_"What guest? What are you talking about?" Draco asked. He was bewildered, and somewhat afraid of his father's forcefulness and determination._

_"Astoria will be joining us for dinner and I think tonight would be the perfect night for you to propose. She will not need nearly as much convincing as I'd previously thought." Lucius stated proudly. Draco shrugged off his arm and stopped in mid-gait._

_"I know of no such plan. I haven't spoken with Davis yet, father. I need to explain everything first before I meet with Astoria." Draco said firmly._

_Lucius' nostrils flared and his eyes widened dangerously._

_"There is no need, boy. I called on her today, personally, and inquired about the letter she received from you." Lucius began. Draco's heart skipped a beat._

_"She knows everything, Draco." Lucius said, his voice raspy and furious. Draco held onto the wall behind him to steady himself._

_"She never wants to see or hear from you again." Lucius whispered into his son's ear._

_Draco thrust himself against the wall, sliding down until he was almost on the floor. He put a hand to his forehead and brushed his hair back, willing himself to maintain his composure and not come apart.  
_

_He forced himself to feel angry in an effort to keep from losing control, but angry tears are tears just the same._

_"Be a man, you ridiculous little boy. She's just gutter trash." Lucius barked into Draco's face. Draco's eyes darkened and with a grimace, he stood and leaned into Lucius, their gazes locked on each other._

_"Don't talk about her that way, Father. She's the mother of my child and as of now, she is still my wife. Even if I marry Astoria, I still intend to provide for Davis and the child, and divorce her honorably." Draco said._

_Lucius sputtered in disbelief._

_"You want to acknowledge her as your wife? You will ruin everything." Lucius exclaimed._

_"Those were my terms, Father. You wanted me to forget her, but I can't. You wanted me to cast her aside, but I never want her to forget my face. She will not be a stranger to me, as I will be present in my child's life. And I will not be moved from such terms." Draco said._

_"No. I absolutely forbid you." Lucius' voice began to get higher, his anger reaching an indescribable peak._

_"I love her. And for once, you cannot stop me." Draco said. Lucius glowered at his son and shoved him into the wall, his teeth gnashing together like an enraged beast._

_"If you do not leave her well enough alone and marry Astoria, then I will cause her great harm. This is for your own good, son. The two of you are not meant to be together. It's time you trusted me. I'm going to keep you from making a mistake if I have to become the villain to do it." Lucius spat, releasing Draco and taking a deep breath._

_"I will make her life miserable if you so much as attempt to have any sort of communication with her again." Lucius' breath was heavy and he cast one warning look at Draco before retreating down the hallway onto the stairs._

_Draco looked down, his eyes devoid of all hope and happiness. He leaned his head back against the wall and let his tears flow freely.  
_


	32. The Aftermath

I saw Draco's face before me. He was beautiful. My breath caught within my chest and butterflies roamed in my stomach. He had come back on his knees with tears in his eyes, begging me to understand that he'd only been acting the fool and didn't mean any harm. It had all been a misunderstanding that he hadn't cleared up properly.

We came together, my lips ready for a tender kiss. But before this happened, I heard a voice yelling "Breakfast!" in the background and eventually I awoke to the present.

I was in my bed, my stomach in knots, my eyes still puffy, my heart still broken. It was absolute hell to be parted from such a dream into startling, miserable reality.

My father was downstairs calling for me, no doubt to serve me some glorious blueberry pancakes. Unfortunately I didn't want them. I thought of the taste and whether I could muster the desire to eat, but I wanted nothing more than to spend the day in bed.

I rolled over and nestled into my pillows. I was exhausted still, but somehow I couldn't find a comfortable position. Nothing felt good. As a matter of fact, nothing felt like anything much. I was already numb.

My father knocked on the door (Julianna doesn't bother knocking) and timidly eased it open.

"Davey? Don't you want your favorite?" My father asked. I tried to sit up a bit.

"Oh, Dad, I don't really feel well. I'm sorry." I said. My father sat on the edge of the bed and felt my forehead with the back of his hand.

"You do feel a bit warm. Where's Draco? I'm surprised he's not at your beck and call. He'd be worried sick." He said. I flinched at this but tried to recover some sense of normalcy. I still hadn't decided how I was going to tell my father and Julianna.

"I'll be all right in a day or so." I said. He ruffled my hair and gave me a bit of a tickle beneath my chin.

"My brave Davey. Should I bring you breakfast in bed? Wasn't he supposed to be back by now? Or were you supposed to join him at that...manor?" My father shuddered. I swallowed a lump in my throat and struggled to find the right words.

"Draco...isn't coming back, Dad." I admitted. A few renegade tears fell regardless of my best efforts, and I could barely see my father's shocked face.

"What is this, now?" He said in disbelief. My lips trembled but I tried to forge ahead.

"I told him it was over." I said in a wail, almost gasping for breath. He blinked a few times in confusion.

"Daddy, it's over." I sobbed, reaching out for him. My tears ran all over his cardigan as he held me, stroking my hair with his soothing touch.

"Davis, darling, why would you tell him something like that?" He said, rocking me back and forth slowly to get me to stop crying.

"It's just over." I said. I couldn't explain. But my father, bless him, didn't try to press me further.

He held me for a long time, whispering to me how I'd be all right and how much he loved me. When I had calmed down, he kissed my forehead and told me he'd bring up some pancakes. He insisted I have some, no matter how upset I was.

I wallowed there in bed for some time after I suffered a few bites. I wondered where Draco was now, whether or not he'd forgotten about me, and if he'd proposed to Astoria.

She was the pureblood wife of his dreams. The only reason he hadn't married her before was her hesitance. She would certainly not hesitate now.

Wizard divorces were not very common at all, I knew. They were kept quiet and required signatures on a divorce scroll before it went up in flames and disappeared, rendering the two parties as unmarried immediately.

Not long after I'd eaten those pancakes, I received the scroll from the Manor. The owl delivering it looked rather disheveled and worse for the wear.

I spent a good long while staring at the paper, never realizing how seeing Draco's name scrawled upon it in his handwriting would hurt so deeply.

I took a deep breath and signed my name with my quill. I watched as the piece of parchment floated aloft and caught fire. It was beautiful and terrifying at the same time, and all I could think of was the day of our wedding, and everything he'd ever meant to me from that day forward, and how it was all burning up in front of me.

All that was left was a few ashes, and the owl pecked them up to take back to the Manor. A few flashes of wings and it was as if nothing had ever happened in my room.

My marriage was over, my child was fatherless, and I was once again confirmed of my suspicions about love.

What good was it to love and give one's heart away if it all ended like this?

I returned the quill to my desk and resumed my usual place under the covers. I vaguely wondered if I would ever feel the need to go anywhere else again.

* * *

_Narcissa sipped her tea in relative silence. She and Astoria were in the Conservatory sharing a post-lunch tea time together, discussing the dinner they'd all shared the night before._

_The tea had been set and Astoria was perfect company. She was well-dressed and lovely, her face angelic and bright. The conversation was pleasant as well. It was difficult for Narcissa to imagine the meeting as any more appropos, but she couldn't help but notice how crestfallen Draco had looked at dinner._

_His expression had soured any expectations Narcissa had held for this tea._

_Draco had looked incredibly pale and ill, his voice tired and sad, his lips hardly smiling. Not long ago he'd had a permanent grin he flashed all the time, and his manner had been incredibly amusing and light. Narcissa reflected that the Davis girl had been the chief cause of it._

_Her absence had produced these symptoms in her son, and while she hadn't asked personal things of Draco or her husband, she realized that something dire must have happened._

_After the lovely tea, Narcissa entered Lucius' study where he sat behind his desk dictating a letter. Upon interruption, the floating quill dropped to the desk._

_"Yes, my dear." Lucius said. He wasn't pleased with the intrusion._

_"I have trusted you with a great many things, Lucius. You've kept me in the dark concerning this marriage, and I haven't demanded any answers." She began. Lucius gave a satisfied nod._

_"Until now." Narcissa said. She walked over to the desk and leaned against it, the tips of her fingers touching the wood._

_"The boy made his choice. The other was...unsuitable." Lucius said with his nose in the air. Narcissa narrowed her eyes in confusion._

_"Draco is obviously grieving over this choice. Why did it come to that?"_

_Lucius made a dissatisfied face and heaved a great sigh at having to explain such things._

_"My dear, not only is she not of our class, but she was trying to trap Draco using her child as bait. I simply exposed her for a fraud. Draco will forget her soon enough." Lucius said._

_"Fraud or not, I don't want to see him so unhappy." Narcissa stated._

_"He will be happier in the long run, my darling, you'll see. He would have been just as unhappy eventually if he had stayed with her. We might have even spared him worse pain."_

_"We? I don't remembering discussing any of this with either of you."_

_Lucius was struck by her unusual defiance. He cleared his throat and set about dampening the fires._

_"We didn't want to worry you, but Draco and I had it out and we both agreed Astoria was the woman best suited to be his wife."_

_"What of the girl and her child?" Narcissa asked._

_"The child does not belong to Draco." Lucius said without hesitation._

_Narcissa gazed at him, wondering how he knew._

_"Are you quite sure?" Narcissa regretted that Davis' conduct did look questionable indeed. If the child didn't belong to Draco and the marriage was just a scheme, perhaps this temporary agony was really much better for Draco._

_But it was hard to see that now._

_"Yes. I'm positive." Lucius said. Narcissa knew that the conversation was over, though she still had so much to ask, so much to say._

_But Lucius was a man who would not be pushed._


	33. The Mend

Something inside me continued to pour out these days and nights without Draco. I had never known I could be so unhappy…so lost and miserably vulnerable to the tides of life.

I cried every moment I thought of him and many that I tried not to. My body was racked with a pain that I couldn't pinpoint, and I felt that at any moment I would come apart completely and never return to normal. There was no normal. It was just…devastation. An utter, terrible clench around my chest that was only slightly eased by tears.

What else could I do but cry? I felt as though I'd all but lost everything, though I knew I still had a great deal to be thankful for.

I rolled over in bed, never feeling for a minute that I could sleep, or eat, or even think clearly. I almost couldn't even comprehend my loss. I'd never experienced this and I never wanted to again in my entire life. Even the horrible and frightening idea of death as a respite sounded agreeable to me now, though I knew that my pain was making most of my thoughts rather morbid.

I felt Julianna sit beside me on the bed and I was grateful that I wasn't alone in my pain. I felt her rub my back gently, hugging me to her.

"Did it hurt this much when you broke up with Sean?" Sean was the first boyfriend my sister had ever had. Perhaps this really was normal and all girls felt like this.

"No, Davey. I wasn't in love with Sean, or he with me. We weren't torn apart by circumstances and wizarding politics. We didn't share a marriage and a child." Julianna stated slowly, evenly, as if giving me permission to know that my grief was quite understandable.

"I feel so alone, Jules. I've never felt so alone in my whole life." I said, a few more tears hanging on to my lower lids. I wish someone could explain it to me, to my heart, in such a way that I could understand and not feel this way anymore.

I wouldn't even have wished it on Lucius.

Julianna held me as I cried again in her arms, simply asking why, and knowing that the answer might never be made known to me. Who really knows why such pain exists and why it is so extensively powerful.

"I know there's nothing I can say right now to make you feel better, Davis, but I do know that this is the worst of it. Even if it lasts for a while, there is nothing else but for you to feel better." Jules said. She ran her fingers through my hair and I said a thankful prayer that I had my sister.

I knew many in my position might not have been as lucky.

* * *

_"Draco, is something wrong?" Astoria asked. They were having dinner together in his quarters and he began to remember Davis petulantly demanding he treat her better. He recalled her adorable anger as she waited for him to finish his meal, rolling her eyes and glaring at him._

_Draco blinked and it was Astoria seated across from him, not Davis._

_"It's nothing. The work of preparing for classes was a bit harder than I thought it would be." Draco mumbled. In truth it was really only hard because potions now reminded him so much of Davis and how passionate she was about potions._

_"I see. Is there anything I can do to help?" Astoria wondered. Her hopeful face was glowing with a wifely sort of pride at the mere thought of helping her husband-to-be._

_Draco suddenly felt uncomfortable with her open adoration._

_"Not really." Draco said. He did not wish to be rude, but he excused himself to go to his room a bit early and he began to pace again._

_It was something he did nightly to keep from crying and breaking every single thing in his room. Crying wasn't allowed in this house, he'd always been told. If his father had ever caught him with tears in his eyes, he was received rather violently into a lecture speaking of the evils of weeping._

_Draco stopped and allowed himself to do a thing which he usually did not let himself do. He thought of Davis and her smile. The way she loved him despite her best efforts. Whenever she looked at him, it was as if she could see everything about him in one glance, the bad and the good. She gazed at him with friendship and respect, with caring and kindness, with humor and lust._

_She did not idolize him for his ice-prince persona. This she found distasteful. And here was Astoria, soaking up every bit of his legendary heart of stone and wintry affections._

_Draco leaned against his mantle and a rather astonishing thought occurred to him. Astoria probably did not love him at all. How could she when she barely knew him?_

_And if Astoria wasn't in love, then how could he enter such a marriage?_

_Though there were dark circles beneath his eyes, Draco was much too crazed to sleep._

* * *

"Good morning, Dad." I said sleepily. He was, of course, making blueberry crepes with Nutella squashed inside and I hugged him as he was bent over his skillet.

"Davey?" My father whirled around and hugged me, his fluffy brown oven mitts tickling my arms.

"I'm a bit hungry." I announced as though it were quite common. My father released me and smiled, ushering me to a seat at the kitchen table.

It felt good to have a bit of normalcy back. I was beginning to remember what life had been like before Draco, and that I had enjoyed it thus far. Perhaps things could still be just as enjoyable without him. Though I knew in the back of my mind, he would always be with me a little bit. My heart had carved out a place for him, and I feared that place would remain untouched for a long time.

"You're just in time. The first crepe belongs to you, my dear." He sat a plate in front of me and I was glad to find my appetite had returned.

"Davey, you're up!" Julianna raced to me and kissed the top of my head and sat down next to me.

"Jules, darling, care for a crepe?" My father beckoned her with a fresh crepe but Julianna shook her head.

"No thanks. Diet. Davey is already a few months pregnant and she's thinner than I am." Julianna said, though her tone was more worried than teasing.

For a while they had both threatened me with St. Mungos if I hadn't gotten better, and this meant that my father was at his wit's end, otherwise he would have avoided wizarding remedies at all costs.

"A diet? Oh, Jules…" My father began. But he knew better than to argue with her when her mind was made up. Julianna was no doubt priming herself for the grand welcoming ball that Beauxbatons held at the beginning of every new school year. And since this would be her last, I knew she would stop at nothing to have an ideal year.

"Lange thinks you're perfect as you are." I said through a full bite of crepe.

"I'm not doing this for Lange, Davey, you silly nutter. If I'm going to be the envy of all my friends at Beauxbatons, I must be absolutely perfect." She said.

I smiled at her as she preened about like a proud peacock. No one could be as delightfully vain as my sister and still be as completely loveable.

"By the way, have you thought about naming your baby after me if she's a girl?" Julianna teased. She grinned and caused her eyebrows to lift and lower excitedly.

I laughed out loud perhaps for the first time since Draco left me. It felt good and I was reminded that I missed happiness and mirth. I realized how much I wanted to smile again for no reason.

I continued to eat my crepes at the table and felt so eternally grateful that my father and sister were helping me to return to my old self again.


	34. The Wayfarer

"Davey, could you come here for a moment?" My father called to me from his study. I had been walking down the hallway but his voice caused me to stop short. He sounded confused and slightly excited.

I pushed open the door just slightly and peeked my head through.

"Yes, Dad?" I asked. My father swirled around in his swivel desk chair and produced a nondescript packet of papers that he held up questioningly.

"I didn't mean to pry, but I found these in the trash bin. An acceptance letter to a school?" My father began. I could tell he was slightly offended that I hadn't shown him, but considering my circumstances I didn't know why I should.

"Yes, it's the Wiglaf School for Witches based in New England. Massachusetts State, I believe."

"There's a school for witchcraft in America?" My father asked, dumbfounded.

"It's rather new. But I've been told that it's cutting edge in modern potionry." I said. I felt uncomfortable discussing this with my father in case he began to panic that I'd applied to a school so far away.

My father gave a warm smile.

"Would you…like to go there, Davey?" He asked. I almost couldn't believe what I'd heard.

"What? I can't."

"I have a confession to make, Davis. I had your sister contact the school for me and we explained your rather…delicate situation. They've agreed to keep your admittance this semester if you still want to attend." My father's face registered a bit of a sneaky smile, as though his confusion was staged for my benefit.

My mouth moved as though I was speaking but I truly had no words.

"You explained? They will still take me on? But what about you and Jules? What about the baby?" I had since come quite close to my father, holding his shoulders in an effort not to fly off the handle.

"I've made arrangements to rent a house for us in Massachusetts not far from the school. I will stay with you and help you with the baby. And Jules will stay with us on holidays and as soon as she graduates from Beauxbatons."

"While I go to school?" I repeated. This was unbelievable. This was the best news I'd had in a long time.

"While you go to school. I know this is what you want, Davey. And I apologize for not making it very easy for you to pursue your passion…" My father began. He turned his face a bit in shame, but I gave him a kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you so much. You'll never know how much I want this." I said, hugging him close to me. I was so excited I couldn't help myself.

"When do we leave? Oh, please let's leave soon." I said. I suddenly wanted to get as far away from everything as possible. Away from all the people I'd hurt, away from the people who'd hurt me.

"As soon as I settle with the real estate people from America. It should be any day now. And they'll call me by the telephone!" My father said cheerfully. Perhaps this would be easier on my father as well.

I bit my lip in joyful anxiety. My dreams could still come true. The dreams I'd had before I'd been loved and discarded like waste. Dreams I'd put on hold for a man I was never meant to be with.

"Oh, and Davey?' My father added. He seemed pleased that this news was excellent for me, but he had a strain of worry in his face that I recognized through the smile.

"What is it?"

"As soon as you have completed your studies, we must return. We're not running away, Davey. At least, not forever. Your problems will still be here when we return, and the same things that pain you now will still pain you then." He said. My face paled a bit as I thought about it.

I had wanted to avoid hearing about Draco's wedding and his future children and all of that messiness. But I would inherit the news eventually.

"I understand. I'm not running away. But I'm going to be stronger when I come back, definitely. And I'll be able to handle it then, Dad. I promise." I said. I gave him a grin and I hugged him again.

* * *

_They had decided against another engagement party in the traditional sense. Instead they invited the Greengrass family over for a familial pre-wedding dinner._

_Astoria and Draco were to be married the next evening at King William's Church in Wiltshire, a proud source of heritage for the Malfoy name originating with their ancestor Armand Malfoy._

_Lucius was prouder than ever and held himself very high indeed at the grand dining table with his future in-laws. This was how Draco's marriage should be conducted. The finest families joining, everything duly apropos, the vows at the sacred church dedicated to the Malfoy line by King William I himself._

_"What I want to know is when these two will give us grandchildren. Daphne hasn't found a husband to suit her yet, you know." Acheron Greengrass bellowed with a mighty laugh. He lifted a glass of wine to the couple sitting at the end of the table._

_Draco was silent and absent as always, and Astoria tried not to notice how sad and upset he seemed to be at the prospect of marrying her._

_"I believe Draco will make a very fine father." Narcissa mentioned casually, tossing an ambiguous glance at Draco. Draco stiffened immediately and returned her gaze._

_Lucius cleared his throat and set about immediately to change the subject._

_"Yes, well, the Malfoy heir can wait. As long as my son is securely settled as my heir, with a wife as lovely as Astoria by his side, I can want for no more than this." Lucius said grandly. The Greengrass parents were beside themselves with his approval and they cast proud looks over at Astoria._

_Astoria smiled thinly, beginning to feel empty inside. Draco had never been so despondent before. It was as if he'd lost all his vim and vigor. How was it that she'd only recently let herself notice? How could his own parents not notice?_

_Draco refused to eat but a bite and he struggled to muster a small smile. His thoughts turned to the real Malfoy heir, not the one his father-in-law wanted him to produce with Astoria, but the one already growing inside the woman he'd loved and lost._

_Even if he refused Astoria, he knew that Davis would never want to see him again. And now that he'd practically refused his own child, he knew that he would never see him or her either._

_A fine father indeed. Draco knew he already a terrible father and his child hadn't even been born yet._

_How was Davis anyway? He hadn't heard about her in some time. He didn't know if she was well or ill, if the baby was all right…_

_He wanted desperately to know, but wondered whom to ask?_

_And then with sudden clarity, he knew exactly to ask. But he wondered if he could overcome his pride, fear, and anger enough to reach out to him._

* * *

I woke up with renewed vigor. It was a beautiful day, and one that had a definite goal. My father and I had a ticket for a plane that would take us to Massachusetts.

I was packing my trunk with all my clothes and belongings and wondered what I could afford to leave behind.

I glanced over at my bunny lying on the bed and I debated with myself on bringing him. I was a woman now, ready to go to school, have a baby, attain the next level of maturity in my life.

I winced and plucked my bunny from the bed, stuffing him in the trunk. There was no reason why I couldn't be grown up and still have him next to me at night.

And then for the first time I let myself look down at my ring finger. I'd been wearing my wedding band without even thinking about it. Perhaps I'd secretly hoped that Draco would come back to me, and I could show him that I kept the faith by not taking it off.

But now was the time for moving on, and though I knew it would hurt, it was time.

I took a deep breath and pulled the ring from my finger, tossing it on my desk. Then I finished locking my trunk and waited patiently for my father to tell me it was time to leave.


	35. The Night Before

"Are you sure you'll be all right here, Julesy?" My father asked. Julianna nodded wickedly.

"And no deviancy with Lange. I raised you to be a lady, my dear, not a common tart." He added in a jovial tone of voice.

I smiled at them both and hugged Julianna and wondered how I'd get through the last bit of summer without her. But she'd be going back to Beauxbatons anyway. I was going to have to miss her wherever I was.

"You take care of yourself and take care of Dad." Julianna said. Any bit of moistness in her eyes she blinked away immediately, somewhat embarrassed.

We were always apart during school, but somehow this time was different. I was going farther away and we had gotten so much closer as sisters lately. This time would be much harder.

"I'm going to call you from the airport as soon as we arrive, so be sure you're by the telephone this evening, dear." My father said.

Our trunks were settled in the car courtesy of my wand when my father had his back turned. And soon we were bundled in the front seat, enjoying the scenery of a beautiful summer day.

My father had assured me that aeroplanes were quite safe, and I felt a certain excitement at discovering exactly what it would be like.

Life would be bright again, and I couldn't wait.

* * *

_Draco sent Ronald Weasley a message by owl and insisted that they must meet._

_It was the hardest thing Draco had ever tried to do, and he felt sick inside to admit that he needed something from Weasley._

_Ron at first did not reply but Draco sent message after message until sometime late in the late, Ron gave his assent._

_Within seconds, Draco had slipped off to Ron's apartment in Devon and after emerging from his fireplace, wiped the soot from his suit jacket._

_"What do you want, Malfoy? You got what you wanted, didn't you? Come to gloat about it?" Ron said bitterly. He hadn't risen to meet his "guest" and he wasn't about to be polite._

_"Is she all right?" Malfoy asked. His face was pale and his eyes were dark and deep-set._

_"Don't you know yourself?" Ron asked. He began to realize that whatever dalliance they'd had, it was most definitely over now. Ron knew he'd been right all along but he wasn't in the least pleased about it._

_"Did she leave you, Malfoy?" Ron said in a dark laugh. He found himself standing and bringing himself face to face with Draco._

_"I want to know if she's all right…please." Draco said in a quiet voice. Ron was struck by the 'please.' It made him angry as much as it impressed him._

_"What makes you think I know anything about her?" Ron said cautiously. Draco's eyes flickered with jealousy._

_"You deny your feelings for her, then, Weasley?" Draco set his jaw angrily and began to regret asking him for help._

_"Not that it's any of your business, but she hasn't spoken with me in a long time. The last I heard of her, she told me she had married you. And…" Ron stopped himself. Perhaps Davis did not want Draco to know that she was in love with him._

_"And what? That's it? She hasn't fallen into your arms?" Draco spat. Ron turned his back on Draco and went to look outside the window. The first traces of dawn were coming. The streets were covered in pale blue light._

_"I don't know anything about her. We haven't spoken. I'm sorry you wasted your time on me, Malfoy." Ron said, not sorry at all._

_Draco felt a rising panic threatening to choke him where he stood. He was running out of time and he had to know what had become of Davis since…he'd left her._

_He didn't know what to do, or where to turn. There was no telling how angry his father would be if he found out that he was pursuing news of Davis._

_Draco held out his hand to steady himself on the arm of Ron's sofa._

_"Do you swear you know nothing of her?" Draco demanded. His voice came out stronger than he felt. Ron glanced over his shoulder and saw Draco hunched over himself, a frail shell of his former proud self._

_Indeed he felt sorry for Draco. It was obvious he cared for Davis, regardless of what foolishness had occurred._

_"She…" Ron began. He struggled. Would he be helping Davis in this matter by emphasizing how much she seemed to love him? He took a deep breath._

_"The last time I spoke with her, she told me how much she loved you. In honesty, this is all I know." Ron said._

_The admission did not appear to surprise Draco, though he did wince as though it caused him great pain._

_"I know," Draco began, his breathing somewhat labored, "but for her sake I'd rather she love you."_

_"That's quite noble of you, Malfoy." Ron said sardonically._

_Since there was nothing else to say, Draco begrudgingly thanked Ron and left._

_Draco returned to his own room and couldn't fathom this new feeling of helplessness. He knew how close Davis had been to Ron, and finding that they hadn't spoken both relieved him and frightened him._

_Draco wondered if he had the nerve to go to the Christie household. What exactly would he say to Davis? To her family?_

_It was quite possible she would throw him out immediately._

_There was a familiar knock at the door and Draco sighed. His mother would no doubt give him words of advice on the morning before his wedding._

_"Draco, my son. Are you ill?" Narcissa stood in the doorway wearing a worried expression._

_"I'm fine, Mother." Draco said._

_"Don't lie to me, please." Narcissa said, her lips pursed. She had come up to him and held his face in her hands, examining his pale complexion and the dark rings underneath his eyes._

_"I've been better. I've a lot on my mind with the wedding and all." Draco said flatly. Narcissa's gaze softened and she smiled sympathetically._

_"Naturally. Weddings are quite trying by nature." Narcissa said. Draco's wedding with Davis had been beautiful but it certainly hadn't been trying. He cursed himself for remembering._

_"Exactly. I'll try to nod off a bit before breakfast. I'll be fine." Draco said, trying to shake Davis from his mind._

_Narcissa suddenly shook her head._

_"You didn't sleep last night. You've been thinking about her haven't you? She's the woman you really love." Narcissa stated._

_She turned around and closed the door, returning to Draco's side._

_"I don't know what agreement has transpired between you and your father, but I can clearly see that this marriage to Astoria is not what you truly want." Narcissa said in a hushed voice._

_"Astoria is the appropriate choice, Mother. Father made me realize that." Draco said in a soulless voice._

_"Tell that to your face." Narcissa said sharply. Draco looked at his mother, surprised._

_"You know I have no choice in this." Draco admitted._

_Narcissa finally understood, and it wasn't a shock, but it was devastating. Lucius had originally wanted nothing but Draco's happiness, but the years after Voldemort had not been kind to him. His ambition had never left him, and his pride had been terribly hurt._

_It was as if Lucius were willing to do anything to maintain a superior status among the pureblood wizarding community._

_Even at the expense of his own son._


	36. The Ascent

An airport was an interesting thing. Though I'd been raised for all intents and purposes as a muggle, I'd never had the privilege of visiting or even needing an airport.

And it was to say the least, overwhelming.

So many people rushing to and fro with large bags, duffels, trunks, hauling their children and pets, the elderly in their speedy wheelchairs, the airline workers darting around assisting those who did not know what they were doing.

In the midst of all this, my father behaved like a seasoned professional.

Our bags were checked in, our boarding passes were handed to us, and off he marched. He knew exactly which gate we'd be leaving from and which waiting area was the one assigned to our gate. We sat down among several other fellow passengers and I kept waiting for the next thing to happen.

"We just wait, dear. That's all. Then we get on the plane and wait for it to land. We collect our luggage and that's basically your typical airline experience in a nutshell, provided you don't lose anything and don't get stopped at customs." My father said, his voice smooth and assured.

I smiled at his knowledge of airports and I knew he must be feeling proud that it was coming in handy right now.

"I have to admit I'm a little nervous, Dad." I said. As soon as I mentioned it, I realized I wasn't simply talking about riding in a plane. Everything about this trip was beginning to unnerve me.

Originally I had wanted nothing more than to get away from it all. But some prickly little feeling in the back of my mind made me hesitate. As though maybe it wasn't too late for something to happen. Maybe Draco would be looking for me and wouldn't be able to find me if I left.

After a few more seconds of ruminating on this, I shrugged and shook my head. Of course Draco wouldn't be looking for me. Who was I, anyway? Davis the Wallflower, soon to be christened Davis the Eternally Unwanted.

No one would be looking for me. But _I_ was determined to look for me instead.

* * *

_Sleep did not, could not come to Draco. _

_In any case, Lucius summoned Draco to his private quarters for a final commencement speech about how this marriage was the culmination of everything they'd ever aspired to as a pureblood dynasty of wizards. The wealth, the titles, the family…everything was ideal._

_Everything was assured for the Malfoys to grow in power and esteem as they did in the past before Voldemort's defeat._

_Draco listened without hearing, but he considered it a blessing that this would be the last time he'd have to hear it. Lucius was undoubtedly driving home the point just in case Draco was having second thoughts about walking down the aisle with Astoria._

_It was his biggest fear._

_But once all was said and done, Draco held out for the hope that he'd be left alone._

_Narcissa's sharp gaze followed her husband and son as they went off to the private room for one final chat._

_She estimated that no one would notice her absence until it was time to leave for the church. This would be quite sufficient for what she had planned._

_Relying on the floo network, Narcissa, though never having actually been to the Christie House, was well aware of the surrounding location._

_She managed to arrive in a port in London, brushing off her sleeves daintily. It was a park that was only a few paces away from the neighborhood where the Christies lived._

_Narcissa set off immediately._

* * *

Once my father and I were seated comfortably, I looked out the small window and was amazed by the vast runway. I felt a tiny speck of nervousness at the prospect of such a large and imposing machine becoming airborne and gliding over an ocean.

But I pushed such thoughts away and tried to think of something else.

"What will you do in America?" I asked my father. I knew he had little to do in England but lecture and keep to his own studies. Perhaps this journey was just as much for him as it was for me.

"I'm going to enjoy myself." He said with a smile. This might very well prove to be my father's chance at finally fitting in somewhere. I fervently hoped he would find a sense of belonging.

He truly deserved it.

After a few minutes of stand still, and then hearing the pilot introduce himself, we had begun to move. We rotated at first in order to line ourselves up properly on the runway, and then we began to go forward.

It was slow at first, and then faster. Pretty soon, my poor stomach was left far behind at the airport as we reached break-neck speeds. We lifted off the ground and continued to ascend higher and higher into the sky and I suddenly felt a most exhilarating peacefulness.

The world in all its charms and deficiencies was now below me. Having hit rock bottom, and several more bottoms below that I hadn't known existed, it pleased me to think that ascent was the only other way to go from here.

I looked out the window and marveled at how small everything seemed from up here just below the clouds.

I vowed then and there that I would never again be encumbered by my old nonsense.

Davis the Wallflower was soon to be Davis the Tenacious.

I bit my lip as I said one last prayer for Draco, that he might be happy. I mourned for him for just a moment, my fingers stroking the glass as I imagined that one of the buildings I could see far below was probably Malfoy Manor. I wished him a silent farewell and took a deep breath, letting my love for him go as one lets a balloon float away into the sunshine.

* * *

_It was not her custom to knock on doors. Narcissa had always been able to travel easily from one place to another, but Algernon Christie was a squib, and one who had embraced the muggle lifestyle though he still lived in the wizarding world._

_Still it did not become her to knock on the front door of the Christie House._

_She looked around at the neighborhood, examined the landscape, and just before she had the chance to get impatient, the door opened slowly._

_"Hi there, can I help you?" A young woman asked. Narcissa recognized her immediately as Julianna Christie, the younger daughter. But she understood that Julianna probably didn't recognize her at all._

_"Julianna Christie? I wonder if I might inquire about Davis. Is she at home?" Narcissa began. She had somehow gained a soft spot for Davis during their time together. There was something about her the incited one to want to care for her, like she was a stray kitten._

_"My sister is gone for a while. Can I ask what this is about?" Julianna began suspiciously. Narcissa took a few steps closer to Julianna._

_"It's very important. It concerns my son, Draco." Narcissa said. _

_ Julianna's mouth fell open in shock._

_"May I come in?" Narcissa urged when it became clear that Julianna was frozen in place. Julianna moved aside to let Narcissa through the door._

_ "Davey never really told me what happened between them." Julianna said, leading Narcissa into the main room. Narcissa wasted no time in standing near the window, appearing distraught._

_"Draco never revealed much to me either. I was hoping someone could enlighten me." Narcissa said. She paused to look back at Julianna, her face drawn with worry and fear._

_"Why? Is something wrong?" Julianna asked. She felt an impulse to hug Narcissa, but Narcissa remained cold and elusive, even in the midst of her obvious emotional turmoil._

_"My son is not well. He has been driving himself mad worrying about Davis. I wanted to take some news back to him." Narcissa's hands rested in the crook of her elbows._

_"She is much better lately. She was suffering greatly for several weeks, but she managed to come through it." Julianna began. She wondered if it would be good or bad news to explain that Davis had just left the country._

_Narcissa's face flooded with relief and the tension in her body loosened significantly._

_"He will be much pleased to hear that. Perhaps it is better that I didn't speak with her in person. I wouldn't want to upset her if she's been doing so well." Narcissa began._

_Julianna winced and felt that, although it wasn't her responsibility or right to do so, and although it wasn't any of the Malfoys' business where Davis ended up, she needed to explain that Davis had gone away. Perhaps for a very long time._

_"What is wrong? Will she know I'm here?" Narcissa turned her back on the window and faced Julianna directly._

_"No, she won' t know. As a matter of fact, Davis has…gone abroad to study for a few years."_

_ Narcissa felt a heaviness in her chest and stomach._


	37. The Heartsick and Those Who Lie

_Narcissa wearily stepped into her own foyer and debated with herself concerning what to tell Draco. As far as she was concerned it was nothing but bad news all round._

_ But news was still news, and it was better than always wondering._

_ Davis was obviously heartbroken, and had to put an entire ocean between herself and Draco, which confirmed Narcissa's suspicions that Lucius had somehow convinced Draco that he needed to let Davis go._

_ The only question that remained was what exactly did Lucius say to convince him, and then in turn, what Draco told Davis._

_ Narcissa was determined to get to the bottom of things, wedding or no._

* * *

Father and I sat down in the middle of a stranger's living room. It was fully furnished and quite lovely, but it was still foreign. All the same, this living room was going to be ours for the next few years.

The fluffy brown armchair, the ornate and slightly ugly orange chaise with the ridiculous golden tassels, the dark brown fleur de lis pattern of the carpet, all of it was going to be home to us.

"Pretty, huh?" I said. My father gave a half-snort.

"If you say so, Davey." He said. He was in the midst of bringing in all of the heavier items from our rental car, another commodity I wasn't entirely familiar with.

I went gingerly into the kitchen, as this would be the room that would determine my ultimate happiness.

It was small, with an angled ceiling, but the quaint hardwood floors and the cheery window in between stove and fridge made me smile. My father would make this kitchen his own in no time. And then I would be happy.

I drifted into one of the bedrooms and was overcome by the dark gray and much depressing carpet and the blue bedspread. I sat down gently, afraid if I moved too quickly that I would make myself cry somehow.

The tears slipped out anyway.

* * *

_Draco examined his reflection with grim satisfaction. He knew he looked handsome, but it pleased him to realize that he looked much better on his wedding day with Davis. He owed her that at least. And so much more._

_ He barely noticed when his mother slipped into the room and closed the door after her, coming up behind him and staring into his reflection._

_ "How do I look, Mother?" Draco asked. It was a curt kind of question that wasn't really a question, but just something to say. Everything Draco said these days was just something to say to fill the void. Lines from an empty script._

_ "Terrible." Narcissa said. She was beginning to tire of all this charade. Draco's eyebrows raised a bit, but he still continued to mess with his tie._

_ "Draco, look at me." Narcissa pulled Draco's face toward hers. Draco seemed bewildered but he retained his icy cold and slightly bored demeanor._

_ "I've wrestled over these thoughts a great deal, wondering if telling you would only hurt you more…" Narcissa began. The truth was ready on the edge of her tongue, but something kept her from releasing it._

_ Draco stared into her face, trying to understand. His face was already trying to mask such intense pain and longing that she nearly wept just looking at him._

_ Eventually Draco looked down and began to straighten his suit jacket, examine his shoes, and run a hand through his bedraggled hair._

_ Narcissa understood that she had waited too long and somehow…the moment had passed. Draco's eyes had hardened and all the pain she had seen was now erased. She had missed her moment to explain, to tell him of Davis._

_ If she told him now, she doubted he'd even care._

_ "Do you love Astoria?" She asked him point blank. Draco stopped what he was doing and turned again to face Narcissa. His expression was cold and haughty._

_ "Does it really matter, Mother?" Draco said snidely. Narcissa was taken aback. The pleasant change she'd seen in him had completely disappeared in the weeks after Davis had gone from their lives._

_ Was this all really because Davis was the daughter of a squib? _

_ The strong desire she had to resolve this problem was now tempered by the fact that both husband and son seemed vehement in their privacy and captured behind an icy wall of indifference. _

_ There was nothing to be done, it seemed. Except for, perhaps, not letting another moment pass by without letting Draco know what had happened to Davis._

* * *

My father sat beside me in this chilly room with dark walls and dingy carpeting. He held my hand for what seemed like an eternity. I couldn't tell if he was trying to comfort me, or we were both trying to comfort each other.

We had been so excited and ready for a change in our lives. Ready to shed all of the things that had been weighing us down for so long. We were both extremely self-conscious and did not often think very highly of ourselves. This trip was to be somewhat of a salvation for the two of us.

This might very well be our last chance to make something of ourselves.

"This isn't so bad. Once I shampoo the rug and add some pretty lamps and curtains." I said somewhat cheerily. If this was to be my last chance, I wasn't about to waste it by staring at a door that had long since been closed for me. Homesickness was just a feeling. It would pass eventually.

"Yes. That sounds nice." My father said absently. Resolved to make the both of us feel excited again, I took him by the arm and led him to the kitchen.

"You know what this kitchen is missing, Dad?" I asked. I went from cabinet to cabinet, shelf to shelf, noticing absolutely nothing in the drawers.

"What's that, my angel?" My father said, his voice shaky.

I smiled at him and slowly twirled around the kitchen.

"Blueberries." I sang. I grabbed his hands and together we danced in a funny little circle around the tiny kitchen. Perhaps if we created a memory for this kitchen, it would be much easier to come back to it once we'd left.

In my imagination I could see my father holding my child as he tottered around the kitchen, feeding him a blueberry and chucking his nose. I would join them and together we roll up our sleeves and make our family traditions stronger at the same time we were creating new ones altogether.

I could see Christmastime when Julianna would join us, and opening gifts and lighting candles and singing together.

Suddenly I began to feel a peculiar sense of familiarity about this place, as if I'd known it in another lifetime. It did not seem so foreign anymore.

Father and I were going to be all right.

I smiled as we continued to dance in the little kitchen that was now part of our home.

* * *

_Draco let Lucius handle his tie, though there was nothing wrong with it. It had been straightened perhaps fifty times since morning._

_ "Nervous, Father?" Draco asked somewhat rudely. Lucius frowned heavily and began to pace in one of the downstairs rooms of the grand church. _

_ They were only waiting for an usher to guide them to the entrance of the vestibule where they would stand for the duration of the ceremony._

_ It seemed that Lucius struggled with a strange fit of anxiety he could not readily explain. He knew it had something to do with the way his wife had looked at him that morning. As if she knew what was going on._

_ As if she knew what he had done._

_ Lucius was determined never to tell Draco of what he had done to Davis. He didn't know exactly what he would do if Draco ever hated him. And if everything had to come out in the open, Lucius was certain he would be the devil in everyone's eyes._

_ But the fear…the control…it was necessary. Without it, Draco would get hurt. Davis was a siren that had lured Draco into bed, created a child, and somehow exerted a powerful spell over him to keep him utterly intoxicated by her._

_ The pain would hurt far worse when he realized he'd been fooled. That the child was not his. That the love wasn't real. That it was all for naught after everything he'd been through._

_ Lucius truly knew what was best. He wasn't afraid to be the monster in order to protect his only son. Sometimes the villain in the end was the only one who truly knew suffering and loss, and sacrifice. They gave as much as the hero, but without the happy ending or the recognition._

_ Lucius made up his mind to keep the truth hidden. No one would understand, and no one would ever forgive._


	38. The Hidden Scion

**ten months later**

_"See you next term, Professor Malfoy!" A chorus of children, first years, called out to Draco as they left the final class of the year before their exams. _

_Draco smiled wearily to himself and sighed looking out into the empty classroom. It had been a long and terrible year, with no answers and absolutely no peace._

_He hadn't spoken to his father very much since he jilted Astoria at the altar. He'd burned most every bridge he'd ever built in his life except for the ones at Hogwarts._

_After gathering his things from his temporary abode near Hogsmeade, Draco traveled back to his flat in London. With the school year finally completed, Draco felt a sense of relief that he could finally devote his time to searching for Davis._

_He came home to the empty flat and immediately went to bed, worn out from teaching, and perhaps life in general. It was amazing what a person could adapt to. Amazing how a person could continue to live day after day when there was no real life occurring at all. Not when that person's heart had disappeared._

_There was a picture of Davis in his memory, a living picture of her smiling face and warm, passionate laugh. Draco had no surviving pictures of Davis to sustain him, so his memory and his imagination had to suffice._

_Draco wondered what she was doing with herself wherever she was. He knew she was studying abroad, presumably at a Wizarding School, though he wouldn't put it past her to learn a muggle trade in order to turn her back on the world of witchcraft and wizardry. The problem was he didn't know where she was. This was the extent of the information he had been given about Davis, something that his mother had told him after she admitted to visiting the Christie household._

_The world was a large place for a person to hide. But luckily, summers were long. Hopefully he could find her before the Fall term began again. But this brought Draco to the horrifying thought that plagued his nights. What would he do if he found Davis again?_

_She obviously didn't want to be found and made a concerted effort to tell virtually no one, not even Weasley, of her hideout. The only person who knew was Julianna, and she had unceremoniously refused to communicate with him several times throughout the year, though he had persisted._

_Draco could hardly blame her. He'd broken her sister's heart and humiliated her. _

_If Draco found Davis, she'd probably refuse to see him. Somehow Draco didn't care. This need to find Davis and the baby had consumed him for months and months until it was the only driving force of his existence._

_The thought of being an active father scared him. The idea of making the same mistakes his own father made kept him from feeling like he even deserved the chance to even attempt the role of Father._

_He wondered what the baby looked like, and what Davis looked like with him or her. The thought of her doing maternal things made him feel proud and rather protective of her, though he felt helpless that he could not act on it. Not to mention the strange thoughts of desire he'd had imagining her holding his child, knowing his contribution to creating him. _

_There wasn't a week that went by that he didn't wake up from a dream in which Davis was naked and vulnerable in his arms._

_He simply had to see her again, had to see the baby, even if it was from afar._

* * *

"Altais Halford Christie!" I shrieked. The four-month-old in my arms grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled tight with his little fists. How he got such behemoth strength I will probably never know. All the same, I did the best I could trying to open his fists as he giggled a little bit like it was a fun game.

"Altais, mummy is going to get cross with you." My father said, a muggle newspaper under his arm. He gave Altais a kiss on his tiny head and sat down at the table, sipping coffee from his favorite mug. I put Altais in his high chair and began the arduous process of trying to feed him canned baby food. These were the times when I debated using magic behind my father's back.

One of the hardest things in life had to be trying to get a baby to eat carrot paste.

I made his baby spoon go up and down, making noises like a train, in an effort to entice him to open his mouth. On the lucky chance that I did get the spoon to land in its destination spot, I nearly always had to get a burp cloth ready for when he spat everything back out.

"Your namesake is getting fidgety." I said. My father put down his paper and began to tickle Altais' chin, making him laugh and kick his legs excitedly.

"Is little Halford being a naughty wee boy?" My father, the older Halford, said with a gleam in his eye I hadn't seen in quite a long time. Altais, though quite a challenging baby, was also a godsend for my father and me. Our lives had suddenly become filled with laughter and mirth unlike any I had ever known.

And the feeling of love I had for him was something so powerful and surprising it never ceased to amaze me.

"If he's not careful he's going to get a hungry tummy." I said. I was growing impatient with Altais and after half a jar had successfully made it into his stomach, I pulled him from the chair and put him in his little bathtub, giving him a thorough bath. My little angel was covered in orange goo.

But Altais loved baths, which was a good thing. He loved the water and the warmth, and always held a very calm, euphoric expression when he was taking one. And it was times like these that I noticed how his little sprigs of fine, downy hair were coming in very light. How his eyes were such a striking blue that they cut right into me like a tiny knife. How much he truly resembled his father in almost every expression.

It was very hard to get over someone when you had to stare them in the face every day, even if the face belonged to a perfect replica.

Sometimes I had to turn away when thoughts of Draco began to overwhelm me. I tried not to think of him, not to say his name in my head. He was someone my father and I never spoke of, though we saw him through baby Altais day after day.

I always wondered whether or not he had ever really, truly loved me, or how much he had fought to be with me. Most of all, I wondered how much he thought of the child he'd decided to leave behind.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and gathered a very wet Altais in my arms and began to towel dry him. Perhaps that afternoon we would go to the park.


	39. The Start of the Search

_The next morning, Draco noticed an owl pecking a bit on the ledge outside his parlor window. The owl bore a note in parchment and Draco immediately slid the window up in order to receive the feathered messenger._

**_Draco –_**

**_The Greengrasses were over for dinner recently, and incredibly enough, my son, Astoria still inquires after you. This is tantamount to forgiveness and reconciliation. If you would simply consider again all of the vast benefits of marrying the girl, I'm sure you would agree it is in your best interest. I understand your need for freedom and independence, and I feel as though I've let you have your way for long enough. I want you to come home before the summer ends._**

_Draco felt an icy rage travel through his veins. He remembered his wedding day and how his father had been so smug in his own convictions. Draco's life, it seemed, resembled nothing more than negotiating a simple pawn on a chessboard. But Lucius had Draco convinced that it was all for his own good._

_Somewhere deep inside he remembered why he had agreed to marry Astoria, and it had everything to with the safety of Davis and her family. But fear had ruled his life for so long that he couldn't even comprehend a life without it._

_With only ten minutes before the wedding was slated to begin, Draco entered the bridal room where Astoria was adjusting her veil and beaming radiantly in the mirror. It was one of the hardest conversations he'd ever had, but he told Astoria that he wasn't ready to be married._

_Astoria, though crushed and in tears, tried to smile bravely. She really wasn't a bad sort of woman. She was actually a very solid, lovely girl. But she didn't keep him up at night, haunting him with her smile._

_Draco had walked into the congregation and announced that there would be no wedding. And with his heart beating wildly in fear that his father would try to stop him, Draco left the church and headed straight for London._

_His mother was waiting for him on the street near the Christie House and at first he was fearful that she was going to guilt him into coming back to the fold._

_Instead of lecturing him or manipulating him, however, Narcissa explained that Davis was studying abroad and would no longer be living at the Christie House._

_Draco felt like the wind had vanished from underneath his sails._

_His former wife and beloved had been driven away from her home by his cruelty. It made Draco sick to his chest to feel the weight of responsibility squarely on his shoulders._

_With only a few short weeks left before the Fall term at Hogwarts began, Draco had contemplated a leave of absence, but realized that without the Malfoy Family funds, his foray into independence would be short-lived without his teaching income._

_It was a terrible situation, but Draco understood this to be his punishment. To be tortured for the year by an urge to find Davis that was constantly denied. And he had hoped that the year apart would soften Davis as well, though he had a strong fear that the longer he waited, the worse she would feel about him._

_Draco crumpled the note and turned it into a burning ball in midair that vanished in a puff of smoke. He could hardly give a damn anymore about his father. But he did feel remorseful over leaving things open with Astoria, as though there might have been a chance that he'd come back to her._

_Draco began to compose a long, thoughtful letter to Astoria, admiring her for all of her wonderful qualities and setting her free from the love she still carried for him. It was the very least he could do after all he'd put her through._

_But composing such a letter was rather difficult. Draco's instincts were, by nature, rather mean-spirited, and though he had learned to temper these instincts, he felt rather foolish writing something so flowery and emotional in content. It felt odd and strange._

_Draco knew this was all a part of his extended repentance for past misdeeds._

* * *

"Oh, let me see him!" Julianna cooed, reaching for Altais. She scooped him up in her arms and held him close, kissing his soft little head. Julianna had finally come home from Beauxbatons as a full-fledged graduate. She had discussed moving permanently to America with Father and me, but we weren't going to stay forever.

As scary as the thought was beginning to seem. The last place I wanted to go was somewhere that I could hear about Draco in everyday conversation, or somewhere I'd have to send Altais to school in a place where he'd learn his potions from his ashamed father.

"He's grown so much in just a short while." Julianna murmured. She bobbed him up and down against her chest and Altais reached for her long, dark tresses. I smiled and took hold of his hands and pressed them to my lips.

"Not so fast, young man." I said. I laughed and kissed his palms. He always smelled so delightfully fresh and clean and sweet. Nothing was really ever wrong with the world when I held him close and kissed his plump, smooth cheeks.

"Altais has been giving your sister a bit of a time lately. He's not taking to stewed peas as well as we'd like." Father said, taking his turn kissing the baby's head. I gave a smug glance at my little one.

"He hasn't been taking to anything I've fed him lately. But he needs more solid food than formula." I shared a look with my sister that explained just how much I didn't use my wand at home. Otherwise Altais would probably have a full stomach and fewer baths.

Aside from potions classes during the day, I did not practice magic at all. My father had gotten a job with a local newspaper writing editorials that allowed him freedom and a sense purpose that reinforced his instincts to live as a full muggle. I hardly ever talked about school and we somehow learned to make do as regular people living a regular, albeit quirky, lifestyle.

While Julianna and my father caught up with each other, taking turns bouncing Altais, I retired to my room and sprawled across my bed. I had hoped sleep would claim me before unwanted thoughts did, but Draco crossed my mind and once I thought of him it was awfully hard to stop.

He was probably married and expecting another baby with Astoria by now. I could see the two of them, proud parents, with Lucius standing by all proud and dignified. That was the marriage he had wanted from the beginning, and only offspring from that marriage were worthy of being related to him.

It felt like a punch in the stomach to think of Draco sleeping with another woman. Creating a child inside another woman. It was almost unbearable. I tossed and turned against the thoughts but they haunted me and every time I closed my eyes it was the same thing.

I could never really express the shame I felt. Altais was an unplanned blessing of a little boy, but he was still the product of my severe lapse in judgment. And he was also a constant reminder of the man I had trusted to love me and care for me. For that trust I was rewarded with betrayal.

Draco was no doubt living the life of Riley, with a beautiful wife, a solid career, the acceptance of his father, and the assurance that his pureblood progeny would remain as such. Altais had not shown any magic as yet and I wondered whether he would become a wizard at all. If not, it certainly would not have fazed me, as he was my son and that was all that mattered. But Draco, Draco would probably have disowned a son without any magical abilities.

Despite all of that, however, all I could think about was our last night together. The very last time I had seen him. He told me he loved me no matter what. He told me never to forget it.

I always wondered if he knew then that he was going to leave me, or if it came later after he'd gone back home. Lucius was a frightening man with a persuasive nature, and it wouldn't be strange to think that he'd been instructed to do away with me. But this always led me to the question of why? Why wasn't I enough? Why was I so expendable?

The only reason I could come up with is that he didn't really love me enough. Not nearly as much as I'd grown to love him.

I remembered Pansy back in school and how completely doe-eyed she'd been around Draco, how utterly ridiculous and devoid of all sense. And Astoria that fateful night of the party, how she'd loved Draco so much that it pained her to know he didn't really love her back. She loved him so much she was willing to be his obedient wife in a loveless marriage.

The few people who had really tried to look into Draco's heart were well-rewarded for their trouble, it seemed. We were all given glimpses so tremulous, brief, and beautiful that we resigned ourselves to expecting hardly anything more.

I suppose it was that typical "reformation of the bad boy" thing. The kind of relationship that lures women in with the hope of trying to tame the wild beast that is man, only to be thrown in the dirt as the beast runs far, far away.

Draco was a beast I probably would never ever stop loving. Unfortunately I would never stop hating him either.


End file.
